Video

[the_dead_pool2]

Well, hello there lads and gentleman. I'm sure you are glad the family jewels are back in their proper places, and that seeing them makes you have all sorts of happy faces. And so a number I learned in the caribbean, a few of you might be familiar with it.



[He takes a breath and then sings]

Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis?
Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong?
It's swell to have a stiffy...
It's divine to own a dick,
From the tiniest little tadger
To the world's biggest prick.

[Hand gestures to demonstrate this]

So, three cheers for your Willy or John Thomas.
Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake,
Your piece of pork, your wife's best friend,
Your Percy, or your cock.

[ A brief pause]

You can wrap it up in ribbons.
You can slip it in your sock,
But don't take it out in public,
Or they will stick you in the dock,
And you won't come back.

Thank you very much. And remember fellas, wrap twice to keep things nice.

Comments

[inthejunk]

...So, uh. The cast is off now.

[the_dead_pool2]

Enjoy making the bald man cry then!

[inthejunk]

Don't say it where people can see it!

[Because actually, yes, he's been looking forward to that. But it's not something he wants to share with the whole network, thanks.]

Anyway, it's not what I meant. You uh, before you said you could show me some things as long as I didn't complain too much. But you told me to wait until my arm was healed, and the cast is off now.

[the_dead_pool2]

[Deadpool is just going to burst out laughing]

You got a c-c-crush on me or something?!

[Shaking his head]

Man, that sure is an awkward way to say things though. Show me some things as long as I don't complain too much.

[He raises his index finger and points it at the screen]

Sorry man, I don't play for your team. I'm sure there is someone who you can play pitcher and catcher with though. Apparently you are missing a pitcher.

[inthejunk]

[Give him a second to gape in horror, here. Dude, he doesn't need help attracting creepy guys alright?]

W-what?! No! Hell no! Seriously, what's wrong with you?

[the_dead_pool2]

Listen, I'm not the one coming on to a guy who just sang a penis song, so slow your roll, dude.

[inthejunk]

It's not my fault you're a pervert! And why would anyone come onto you? No one knows what you look like under there anyway!

[And you sure don't make up for it with personality.]

[the_dead_pool2]

Eponine doesn't seem to mind, but hey whatever. If you are looking for a beating, I've beat whole sale ass for less.

[He has plenty of personality]

I'll keep off the arm though, I'm a softie like that.

[inthejunk]

...I really didn't want to know that. Anyway it's not like she has a choice you know.

[Okay sure but not the kind people want to take to bed dude.]

It's obvious you don't remember, but maybe that's not a bad thing anyway.

[the_dead_pool2]

To live with me, yeah she kinda does, jackass.

[Right, now you are getting into the actual probably going to beat you territory]

Oh, I remember. I'm just not big into idiotic maschostic bitches, of which you are a prime specimen.

[inthejunk]

She lives with you now?

[Alas he's not that good at sensing danger when it's approaching.]

So next time just say that you lied, jeez. At least then people know what's going on!

[the_dead_pool2]

Yeah, she does.

[You are getting on board the beating train]

You mad, bro?

[inthejunk]

I can't be mad if you're looking after her.

[the_dead_pool2]

[Placating him slightly]

Yeah, I am. So drop the bitching.

[inthejunk]

I'm not the one with the additude here.

[So close.]

[the_dead_pool2]

Sure, whatever you say kettle.

[You totally have tons of tude, dude]

[inthejunk]

What?

[Yep. But as a bratty teenager, he is unaware of this. Enjoy?]

[the_dead_pool2]

You've also got a real shitty attitude.

[Come on really, you don't know that]

[inthejunk]

Look who's talking. Are we done here? It's obvious you changed your mind, so there's no point in hanging around to get insulted.

[the_dead_pool2]

Dude, that was my point, you repeating it is pointless. Difference is, I am fully aware that my attitude is shit.

[There is a bit of a look at that.]

Never said I wouldn't. You stop being a little bitch, and start treating me with a bit of respect, maybe I will. You can't expect someone to teach you if you keep acting like you are fricking entitled to it.

[He points at him, and then shrugs]

If you can't take a little verbal abuse, you'll probably crumple in a day of training anyway.

[inthejunk]

I wouldn't!

[Ignoring all the rest if that scolding, he's a man now damn it.]

I fight monsters practically all the time!

[the_dead_pool2]

Wow, you really filter shit out.

You are thick headed, stupid, and are more likely to cause damage then ever save anyone.

[A beat]

Meet me at dawn two weeks from now, Warehouse 47 don't be late, don't care if you have to get through a horde of Bieber fans to get there. Also, if you bitch about this right now, I will go to your place of business and fill it full of manure, and light it, and then laugh gleefully as shit literally burns down.

[inthejunk]

[Wow, dude. Gross.]

See you then!