[Video] And then there was hideous.

[madeinoblivion]

[The camera adjusts, and Ciel Phantomhive looks...distinctively disheveled. Bedheaded, shirt untucked, and ... is he sitting backwards on that tea table chair, legs straddled, straining his poncy boyshorts? No stockings today? No shoes, either?

Despite this, he's found the most outlandishly feathered top hat  to perch on his head, and addresses the network with a farcical, overly-affected accent]

Hallo, Siren's Port! And my, what a lovely day it 'tis!

Of course, it's probably lovelier for me than you, because I get to live in a huuuuge house and have servants take care of ALL of it for me, since dust makes me sneeze, and cats make me sneeze, and I get sick if I do any work at all, and I'm probably too weak to lift up a broom, even if I wanted to.

[And he takes an overly delicate sip of lemonade, from a teacup, pinky out. Mid-way through the sip, he sputters with laugher, and quickly shoves the china cup and saucer aside.]

So I know what you're all thinking- Who IS this dreadful body-pirate, and what has he done with the Ciel we all know and laugh at behind his back?

Well I'm here to tell you that's all a pack of lies!

I'm Little Lord Fancy-Pants, and I'm here to tell you all that I sleep in a frilly light purple nightgown, and all the little shorts in my closet are so tight I'll probably sound like a pinched little girl for the rest of my life!

(By the way, if you stop by Funtom Toys today, and buy anything from the bakery or the twee selection of  dainty nursery amusements, Gilbert will throw in a free breakfast scone. Which I'm sure you can use for a doorstop or a paperweight, or something sort-of useful?)

[His voice flattens somewhat, with a roll of his eyes, as he drops into a more comfortable slouch with his arms folded over the back of the chair.]

And seriously. This whole lousy business has already happened to four of my friends now, and it's not funny anymore, so we need to get our hands on whatever's been doing this and stop it before anyone else is forced to be stuck as a sissy-boy without any kind of warning.

[Privated, to his own NV. Weird.]

...and hey,  Teabags. I know you're probably listening, all totally horrified. Don't wet my pants or my bed. Do yourself a huge favor and don't kill yourself being me, okay? Or I'll ruin your life.

Go bug Riku, if you really need a protip figuring out how to function with two eyes, darkness, and actual muscles. Don't make any of the girls upset, or I'll come right over there and sock you in my own face.

There's probably a stone in your pocket. It could be still full of my soul somehow. Don't you dare lose it, and take it away from my body, or something horrible will happen to both of us.

Comments

video;

[madannoshashu]

[ Four of my friends. Well, that does sound promising.

Have some video, Joe. He's going to enjoy this. ]

Gained an eyepatch, have we?

[madeinoblivion]

What. [He really hates Ciel's face. Any attempts to look decently surly take on more of a cross, pinched-pouty look.]

Are you here to welcome me to the one-eyed club?

[Video]

[littlest_lord]

_{[If waking up by rolling into a sheet and falling into a pile of dirty clothes in someone else's body isn't awful enough, being made a complete mockery on the network really does add the icing on the cake. Ciel is furious more than he is horrified.]}

The very least you could do is show enough courtesy to make yourself look presentable! You don't see me making a mockery out of you and your untidy living conditions!

[video]

[madeinoblivion]

I wonder just how untidy you'd be, without a flock of servants.

I look just fine as you can get. I even put on a fancy-hat and everything.

[Video]

[pullsheavendown]

Hey! They're not untidy!

[Insulted roommate right here.]

video; assuming he knows thanks to probably waking up above Ciel

[pullsheavendown]

You look really silly like that.

video;

[madeinoblivion]

No kidding. You should've seen what he wears to bed. Keep him away from the girls' sundresses. He might try to wear them.

[ Video ]

[maddeninghatter]

Ohohohoho~!

[ Break had been outside in the garden, enjoying his morning tea - which, upon hearing this post, he spittakes. But after he's done giggling, he recognizes an opportunity! ]

Lord Phantomhive, you seem in excellent spirits this morning. There's no problem if I borrow the car again, riiiiiight?

[ Video ]

[littlest_lord]

NO!

_{[NOT HAPPENING BREAK FUCK OFF PLEASE.]}

Re: [ Video ]

[madeinoblivion]

Wait.

I have a car?

action;

[motioned]

[Yep, just hurrying into the room. Why bother with the NV when they're in the same house?]

...Who is this?

action;

[madeinoblivion]

[Watch as Ciel's face splits into a wide, genuine grin. He pushes a plate of tea cookies across the table towards her]

Hey Ahiru! Guess.

video

[whitefeathered]

[Blank stare. Because this is weird, man.]

. . . What do you mean, "body pirate?"

video

[madeinoblivion]

I didn't really mean that part. Either someone else did it, or I'm here completely by accident.

[video]

[mirroredmemory]

[Peer.

Peeeeeer.]

So that's where you got to.

[video]

[madeinoblivion]

Looks awful on me, doesn't it?

Careful with him, or he'll eat all your baking and gobble up all our ice cream.

video;

[rewritethesky]

[Joe, why do you need to humiliate others?

She doesn't know how to react to this exactly, but at least he's sort of enjoying himself?

...In a weird twisted way?]

It's a little... big for you. [Gesturing to his hat.]

Re: video;

[madeinoblivion]

[Because otherwise I'd be very humiliated to be stuck in this lousy body. Better to humiliate the person it belongs to.

...he never promised to be nice to people that weren't so important to him.]

Yeah, everything's a little big for this guy. Except the shorts.

He's in me, so...um.

You know. Just...I'm sorry, Namine, okay? I'll try and get this fixed, somehow.

action; 1/2

[spiderlilies]

[ Yeah, this was way too weird and she simply had to see it for herself. Sooo, she marched right over to inspect this, uh, imposter - stopping just short of him to give him a good, solid moment of evaluation. Take a good look at that ensemble, if it could even be counted as such.

The way she's squinting, she certainly doesn't approve. ]

2/2

[spiderlilies]

So. Who are you, really?

[ Plucking the hat right off of his head, she curiously quirks a brow at it. It certainly wasn't one of hers. Lord help him if he found it in Lizzie or her sister's room. ]

And where might we find my nephew? Hm? [ Oh goodness, that hair looks far worse now. With a frown, she starts fussing at it, brushing gloved fingertips over the unkempt strands! ] I can't imagine he's in much a better state right now. Goodness.

[inthejunk]

[Blink.]

[Granted, he hasn't spoken to Ciel very much -it's ill advised at best when you're frequently taking blatant and extreme advantage of his hospitality unbeknownst to him after all-but even Yosuke is pretty sure that someone cooler has his body now.]

[That's the second time this week something like this has happened, right?]

[...Cool!]

Who's in there?

[madeinoblivion]

That hard to tell, huh?

Maybe you can guess?

[Video]

[integrity]

[LOL WAT]

Remember to feed his dogs.

[Hellhounds get hungry. :c]

[Video]

[madeinoblivion]

Ciel actually feeds them himself? Wow. And here I thought he'd have a butler do it or something.

video;

[retraced]

[There's a lot of things that Gilbert can comment on re: this particular video suddenly appearing on the network. But given that he's currently at work staring at the batter that will eventually become blueberry muffins (not scones, he's never making scones ever again!) he snaps with as much intensity and defensiveness as a man wearing an apron can muster:]

WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT MY SCONES?!

video; sjd sorry for the threadjack!

[his_own_will]

He said he wanted people to use them as a doorstop! [ so much laughing, who knew there was something Gil couldn't actually make? ]

[ video ]

[his_own_will]

[ awww... and here Oz isn't given an opportunity to guess that something's a bit off. Still, this guy didn't seem half so bad. ]

Do you have any leads then? You must have done something to annoy whoever did this to you. [ yes, you ♥ Ciel's too stuffy to be annoying. ]

[ video ]

[madeinoblivion]

No?

Who said anything about being annoying?

video

[guerrilla_morph]

[ This ...

this is a gift from God, it truly is.

So watch Marco just roaring with laughter and finally takes a hold himself until he's only just barely giggling. ]

Are there any porcelain Chinese dolls by any chance?

Re: video

[madeinoblivion]

Not that I've run into yet, but I sure do feel like one.

[video]

[jackblocking]

[Here have the most unamused look ever. Having this happen to Break and Gilbert was bad enough and Alice? She really didn't know this kid that well yet, but he was the one that had given them a place to stay and had taken care of Gilbert while she was 'gone' so really.

It was in her best interest to look out for the brat.]

Oi! Pirate-idiot! I don't know who you are, but you better remember that if you do anything to Raven and Oz's friend, I'll kick your head in! Got it?!

Re: [video]

[madeinoblivion]

Raven? [The girl who was here months ago, and liked dark poetry?] I never had a problem with her!

I'm not gonna do anything. So don't have a cow.

Video

[tea_lover64]

[The body language gave it away. Lord Phantomhive wouldn't slouch like that]

Hello Joe.

Re: Video

[madeinoblivion]

[a sheepish grin- but he's pleased that somebody's finally guessed it right.]

Guess I won't be at the Dojo today.