[Video] And then there was hideous.

[madeinoblivion]

[The camera adjusts, and Ciel Phantomhive looks...distinctively disheveled. Bedheaded, shirt untucked, and ... is he sitting backwards on that tea table chair, legs straddled, straining his poncy boyshorts? No stockings today? No shoes, either?

Despite this, he's found the most outlandishly feathered top hat  to perch on his head, and addresses the network with a farcical, overly-affected accent]

Hallo, Siren's Port! And my, what a lovely day it 'tis!

Of course, it's probably lovelier for me than you, because I get to live in a huuuuge house and have servants take care of ALL of it for me, since dust makes me sneeze, and cats make me sneeze, and I get sick if I do any work at all, and I'm probably too weak to lift up a broom, even if I wanted to.

[And he takes an overly delicate sip of lemonade, from a teacup, pinky out. Mid-way through the sip, he sputters with laugher, and quickly shoves the china cup and saucer aside.]

So I know what you're all thinking- Who IS this dreadful body-pirate, and what has he done with the Ciel we all know and laugh at behind his back?

Well I'm here to tell you that's all a pack of lies!

I'm Little Lord Fancy-Pants, and I'm here to tell you all that I sleep in a frilly light purple nightgown, and all the little shorts in my closet are so tight I'll probably sound like a pinched little girl for the rest of my life!

(By the way, if you stop by Funtom Toys today, and buy anything from the bakery or the twee selection of  dainty nursery amusements, Gilbert will throw in a free breakfast scone. Which I'm sure you can use for a doorstop or a paperweight, or something sort-of useful?)

[His voice flattens somewhat, with a roll of his eyes, as he drops into a more comfortable slouch with his arms folded over the back of the chair.]

And seriously. This whole lousy business has already happened to four of my friends now, and it's not funny anymore, so we need to get our hands on whatever's been doing this and stop it before anyone else is forced to be stuck as a sissy-boy without any kind of warning.

[Privated, to his own NV. Weird.]

...and hey,  Teabags. I know you're probably listening, all totally horrified. Don't wet my pants or my bed. Do yourself a huge favor and don't kill yourself being me, okay? Or I'll ruin your life.

Go bug Riku, if you really need a protip figuring out how to function with two eyes, darkness, and actual muscles. Don't make any of the girls upset, or I'll come right over there and sock you in my own face.

There's probably a stone in your pocket. It could be still full of my soul somehow. Don't you dare lose it, and take it away from my body, or something horrible will happen to both of us.

Comments

[spiderlilies]

Hmm. [ Well, he didn't give her any trouble before providing an answer, at least. That earns a satisfied smile. ]

Right then! Joe. Have you been in contact with him? We can get you looking decent and go fetch him.

[madeinoblivion]

Yeaaah, he's already grumping at me because I haven't got a maid for my bedroom.

Good luck making anyone look decent, in this body.

Can't Ciel fetch himself? Besides, he won't tell me where the car keys are.

[spiderlilies]

Excuse me? [ Her lips quirk off to the side, planting hands on her hips in a very disapproving manner. ] My nephew happens to be very handsome little gentleman.

It's just-- [ Raising a hand to vaguely refer to his poise and such. ] that. Presentation.

[madeinoblivion]

[He tries very, very hard not to crack a huge smirk at that, and manages to hide the snort of laughter by pretending to sneeze into a hand clapped over his mouth.]

...It's not like I'm meeting anybody important.

Ciel doesn't ever just bum around the house? No wonder he's always so stuffy.

[spiderlilies]

No, no. You likely won't be. [ Crossing her arms now. ] Ciel, however, has taken a fair amount of responsibility onto his shoulders and spends far too much of his time tending to pressing things. That much I'll agree with.

But- [ A finger raised in point. ] -that does not mean that you should 'bum' around here looking a terrible mess.

[madeinoblivion]

Does that mean I've gotta run through his whole schedule, pretending like I'm him?

[spiderlilies]

[ By the look on her face, she's... not so sure about that. ]

I~... wouldn't say that. Perhaps just lie low and entertain yourself here. [ Yeah, that sounds a lot safer. ] We have a good manner of things around here to do. Ciel is very partial to video games, perhaps that's something you would like?

[madeinoblivion]

Video games? Seriously? I thought he was old-fashioned!

[spiderlilies]

[ She smiles. ]

Yes, well, he still likes shiny new games, just like any other boy. And sweets, I couldn't forget that.

[madeinoblivion]

(I should tell Roxas to lock up the freezer....)