sirenspull | [Video] And then there was hideous.

[The camera adjusts, and Ciel Phantomhive looks...distinctively disheveled. Bedheaded, shirt untucked, and ... is he sitting backwards on that tea table chair, legs straddled, straining his poncy boyshorts? No stockings today? No shoes, either?

Despite this, he's found the most outlandishly feathered top hat to perch on his head, and addresses the network with a farcical, overly-affected accent]

Hallo, Siren's Port! And my, what a lovely day it 'tis!

Of course, it's probably lovelier for me than you, because I get to live in a huuuuge house and have servants take care of ALL of it for me, since dust makes me sneeze, and cats make me sneeze, and I get sick if I do any work at all, and I'm probably too weak to lift up a broom, even if I wanted to.

[And he takes an overly delicate sip of lemonade, from a teacup, pinky out. Mid-way through the sip, he sputters with laugher, and quickly shoves the china cup and saucer aside.]

So I know what you're all thinking- Who IS this dreadful body-pirate, and what has he done with the Ciel we all know and laugh at behind his back?

Well I'm here to tell you that's all a pack of lies!

I'm Little Lord Fancy-Pants, and I'm here to tell you all that I sleep in a frilly light purple nightgown, and all the little shorts in my closet are so tight I'll probably sound like a pinched little girl for the rest of my life!

(By the way, if you stop by Funtom Toys today, and buy anything from the bakery or the twee selection of dainty nursery amusements, Gilbert will throw in a free breakfast scone. Which I'm sure you can use for a doorstop or a paperweight, or something sort-of useful?)

[His voice flattens somewhat, with a roll of his eyes, as he drops into a more comfortable slouch with his arms folded over the back of the chair.]

And seriously. This whole lousy business has already happened to four of my friends now, and it's not funny anymore, so we need to get our hands on whatever's been doing this and stop it before anyone else is forced to be stuck as a sissy-boy without any kind of warning.

[Privated, to his own NV. Weird.]

...and hey, Teabags. I know you're probably listening, all totally horrified. Don't wet my pants or my bed. Do yourself a huge favor and don't kill yourself being me, okay? Or I'll ruin your life.

Go bug Riku, if you really need a protip figuring out how to function with two eyes, darkness, and actual muscles. Don't make any of the girls upset, or I'll come right over there and sock you in my own face.

There's probably a stone in your pocket. It could be still full of my soul somehow. Don't you dare lose it, and take it away from my body, or something horrible will happen to both of us.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Ciel's a weakling.

[...Damn it, he can't really argue with that can he.]

His work doesn't require him to be too strong.

Yeah, that's what happens when you're a spoiled rich kid.

Huh? Is that why you're mad at him?

Mad? Why would I be mad- Well, besides being mad I'm not me. I never wanted to be someone so embarrassing.

Ah, maybe mad is the wrong word.

[But he definitely sounds bitter, annoyed and frustrated. Which is understandable, given the bizarre circumstances behind it, but from the sound of it there's a deeper grudge or hatred that Gil just isn't able to completely understand.]

It's only for a few days. You don't have any other choice but to try and be patient until it wears off.

Yeah. Since it's not like I'll be able to go do my job like this or anything.

[He winces.]

Someone else can handle it for a few days.

I don't have all the munny in the world, you know.

I'll make sure that you get back whatever money you lose over the next few days.

[Out of his own pocket, if that's what it takes for this guy to leave Ciel alone.]

No! I don't take hand outs.

Then do something for it if you want! You're in the house, go clean up the kitchen!

[There's even a step stool in there, shorty.]

Fft! Fine! I'll leave Lord Fancy-hive with dish hands!

Wear the dish gloves! Dish gloves!

[His skin is probably sensitive, the soap might make him break out in hives or something.]

[Nope, nope, just gonna get those hives. Being contrary is FANTASTIC.]

[Wow, Ciel is going to be pissed at him later for suggesting this...]

[Video] And then there was hideous.

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