030 // Video

[showbizpanache]

[Kurt is usually pretty composed when he posts on the network, but not this time. He looks frantic, exhausted and frankly ill. His head is in his hands, his fingers gripping his usually impeccably-styled hair as he speaks without looking at the camera.]

All of you, please.

Please don't do this. I'm begging you. There has to be something else, there--there just has to be.

[In case it isn't clear what he's talking about... :c]

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[showbizpanache]

[His eyes are wide and panicked.]

No, they-- Do you see what they're doing?

[mediumdrip]

Yes. I do. And I see what it's doing to you. [He reaches for Kurt's NV.]

[showbizpanache]

Don't! [He tugs it back.]

[mediumdrip]

Okay, keep it, but please don't let this work you up. You don't have the energy to spare.

[showbizpanache]

I'm fine, Blaine.

[mediumdrip]

No, you're not. And we're not going to pretend everything is okay when it's not anymore, right?

[showbizpanache]

It's not. I know it's not.

[He sets his NV down and covers his face with his hands.] This is terrible, Blaine.

[mediumdrip]

I know... [Blaine says softly. He moves to take Kurt into his arms.]

[showbizpanache]

[He cries, then suddenly goes rigid.]

Blaine, I need to-- [A hand flies up to cover his mouth as he retches.]

[mediumdrip]

[Blaine pulls back and moves to grab the nearest wastebasket for him.]

[showbizpanache]

[Aaaand out comes whatever little food he'd managed to eat that day. It's gross, but he's too miserable to care.]

[mediumdrip]

[Blaine rubs Kurt's back through it. It is gross, but he doesn't care. he only cares about Kurt.]

[showbizpanache]

[When he's done he pulls back, scrubbing at his mouth with his sleeve. He's a mess, all tears and puke and snot, but he gets up anyway.]

I have to go. I have to stop them somehow.

[mediumdrip]

No. [Blaine says strongly.] I almost lost you once. You're not going back into the fray.

[showbizpanache]

I've been trying so hard, Blaine.

[He leans against his boyfriend.] I've barely slept. I can't eat. I want to help everyone but I can't, Blaine, and I feel-- God, so useless--

[mediumdrip]

You're not. It's just... right now you'll just put yourself in the middle of a fight. [He rubs Kurt's back again.] I can't let you do that.

[showbizpanache]

I want to know why it's not working.

Why isn't it working, Blaine? Why is nothing we do worth it?

[mediumdrip]

You're still alive. That's worth it to me.

[showbizpanache]

[He sobs against Blaine's chest.]

They're right. This is the only way. I just hate that, I hate it so much.

[mediumdrip]

[Blaine holds him and lets him cry against him.]

[showbizpanache]

[He's crying and shaking so badly that he probably won't be able to get off the floor anytime soon. He can barely breathe he's sobbing so hard. Honestly, he hasn't cried like this since his mother died.]

[mediumdrip]

[Blaine stays with him, holding him and encouraging him to breathe.]

[showbizpanache]

[In between sobs:]

Th-they're right. I-if you got taken, I'd-- I'd fight too. I'd-- [He dissolves into tears again.]

[mediumdrip]

[Blaine tries to soothe him]

Kurt... What they're doing is crazy. You just don't go storming the castle.

If I got taken, promise me you'd go to Tim instead.

[showbizpanache]

[He really can't say anything sensible right now. He breaks down into tears again.]