030 // Video

[showbizpanache]

[Kurt is usually pretty composed when he posts on the network, but not this time. He looks frantic, exhausted and frankly ill. His head is in his hands, his fingers gripping his usually impeccably-styled hair as he speaks without looking at the camera.]

All of you, please.

Please don't do this. I'm begging you. There has to be something else, there--there just has to be.

[In case it isn't clear what he's talking about... :c]

Comments

[mediumdrip]

[Blaine rubs Kurt's back through it. It is gross, but he doesn't care. he only cares about Kurt.]

[showbizpanache]

[When he's done he pulls back, scrubbing at his mouth with his sleeve. He's a mess, all tears and puke and snot, but he gets up anyway.]

I have to go. I have to stop them somehow.

[mediumdrip]

No. [Blaine says strongly.] I almost lost you once. You're not going back into the fray.

[showbizpanache]

I've been trying so hard, Blaine.

[He leans against his boyfriend.] I've barely slept. I can't eat. I want to help everyone but I can't, Blaine, and I feel-- God, so useless--

[mediumdrip]

You're not. It's just... right now you'll just put yourself in the middle of a fight. [He rubs Kurt's back again.] I can't let you do that.

[showbizpanache]

I want to know why it's not working.

Why isn't it working, Blaine? Why is nothing we do worth it?

[mediumdrip]

You're still alive. That's worth it to me.

[showbizpanache]

[He sobs against Blaine's chest.]

They're right. This is the only way. I just hate that, I hate it so much.

[mediumdrip]

[Blaine holds him and lets him cry against him.]

[showbizpanache]

[He's crying and shaking so badly that he probably won't be able to get off the floor anytime soon. He can barely breathe he's sobbing so hard. Honestly, he hasn't cried like this since his mother died.]

[mediumdrip]

[Blaine stays with him, holding him and encouraging him to breathe.]

[showbizpanache]

[In between sobs:]

Th-they're right. I-if you got taken, I'd-- I'd fight too. I'd-- [He dissolves into tears again.]

[mediumdrip]

[Blaine tries to soothe him]

Kurt... What they're doing is crazy. You just don't go storming the castle.

If I got taken, promise me you'd go to Tim instead.

[showbizpanache]

[He really can't say anything sensible right now. He breaks down into tears again.]

[mediumdrip]

[Blaine stays with him, holding him and trying to get him to breathe without pressuring him.]

[showbizpanache]

[Honestly, he shows no real sign of calming down anytime soon. You're going to have to haul him bodily off the floor, Blaine.]

[mediumdrip]

[Blaine eventually does. He encourages Kurt to the bed.]

[showbizpanache]

[Kurt lets himself be hefted into bed, and curls up there, feeling headachey and miserable.]

[Mumbled:] Sorry I got snot on you.

[mediumdrip]

Don't be. [Blaine says soothingly. He stokes the side of Kurt's face.] I'm going to get you a cool washcloth for your forehead okay? I'll be right back.

[showbizpanache]

Okay.

[He rolls onto his back, his hand over his eyes. The tears just won't stop coming, and he wonders if he'll dry up or something.]

[mediumdrip]

[Blaine only disappears long enough to get a damp cloth for Kurt. When he comes back he sits on the bed. His free hand touches Kurt's cheek, wiping away tears.]

[showbizpanache]

[Looks blearily up at Blaine.]

Hi.

[mediumdrip]

Hi.

I'm going to put this on your forehead okay? [He rests the cool, wet cloth over Kurt's head. It's meant to help with the headache that Blaine knows has to be coming from all of that intense sobbing, and to calm him down.]

[showbizpanache]

Mm. Feels nice.

I can't believe I lost it like that.

[mediumdrip]

[Blaine tends to him gently]

You're allowed.