gunsling: (pic#1795172)
Jake English ([personal profile] gunsling) wrote in [community profile] sirenspull2012-07-27 11:51 pm

(no subject)

Today I sat down for the first time.
It was like an orchestra playing the world's most archaically, nauseatingly beautiful refrain devoid of even the most subtle of auto-tunes, a nostalgiatrip back to a time when your wombsack carrier was nothing but a gross shrimpy slime baby shitting her pants and screaming herself hoarse.
Retro as shit, all pipes and organs and screeching violins.
Like fireworks ascending to give a big fuck you finger to voyeuristic gods.
The second my borrowed rump touched the upholstery of our couch I could hear angels clearing their collective throats to serenade me into an endless ass heaven.
It was like magic trickling into the reality slipstream, like all my wildest dreams just legged it the fuck out of my head to offer a stoic nod and a hearty fistbump.
It seems there is a sicktwisted percentage representing the possibility that I am in possession of an ass masterpiece, and that percentage is 100.
Let me tell you about the ass of Jake English, Siren's Port.
Might as well be carved out of marble.
It casts a shadow of shame over the lackluster posterior of my cognitive predecessor.
I'm caught up in all these complicated emotions upon being associated with an ass that is easily bested by even the slightest curved broom handle.

This is Dirk Strider's auto-responder in the body of Jake English, and today I touched a butt for the first time.
It was a religious experience.


[ text opt out, part of the ongoing bodyswap plot. ]
maddeninghatter: (my body just feels like shame)

[ Reaction ]

[personal profile] maddeninghatter 2012-07-27 08:56 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Break was sure he had the text-reader function on his (very touchy) NV sorted out. And then he sets it to read... this.







Nope. Gibberish. Still borked. Back to the drawing board... ]
dialogic: (Default)

text

[personal profile] dialogic 2012-07-27 08:58 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh my god did you post this to the network??
Auto responder please tell me you didnt post this to the network!!
What is wrong with you????
WHY WOULD YOU EVER THINK THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?????????
bosomist: (14 ♣ Demon: this is victory)

text.

[personal profile] bosomist 2012-07-27 09:01 pm (UTC)(link)
[Is this what religion has become? The worship of behinds? It's almost as though she is in Rome. She is very unsure what to make of this declaration of love towards a buttock. Awkward, frankly. ]

Congratulations on your new relationship. I hope you and your buttocks are very happy together?
dialogic: (pic#4131692)

[personal profile] dialogic 2012-07-27 09:06 pm (UTC)(link)
It seems you have asked about dss chat client auto-responder. This is an application designed to simulate dss otherwise inimitably rad typing style tone cadence personality and substance of retort while he is away from the computer. The algorithms are guaranteed to be 96% indistinguishable from dss native neurological responses based on some statistical analysis i basically just pulled out of my ass right now.
................
Kindly fuck off.
bosomist: (83 ♣ calmy)

[personal profile] bosomist 2012-07-27 09:10 pm (UTC)(link)
You are welcome.
You have swapped bodies, then? Have you been coveting this "Jake English's" behind for some time?
dialogic: (Default)

[personal profile] dialogic 2012-07-27 09:12 pm (UTC)(link)
It seems you have asked about dss chat client auto-responder. This is an application designed to simulate dss otherwise inimitably rad typing style tone cadence personality and substance of retort while he is away from the computer. The algorithms are guaranteed to be 96% indistinguishable from dss native neurological responses based on some statistical analysis i basically just pulled out of my ass right now.
I hope you know that once this freaky friday fiasco is fixed ill be dedicating the remainder of my life to making yours miserable!!
bosomist: (104 ♣ softly softly)

[personal profile] bosomist 2012-07-27 09:39 pm (UTC)(link)
This is terribly romantic. I am quite touched.
dialogic: (Default)

[personal profile] dialogic 2012-07-27 09:41 pm (UTC)(link)
Stop lying to people!
dialogic: (pic#4131689)

[personal profile] dialogic 2012-07-27 09:43 pm (UTC)(link)
Would you not--
Dont word it like that!
dialogic: (pic#4131695)

[personal profile] dialogic 2012-07-27 09:54 pm (UTC)(link)
It seems you have asked about dss chat client auto-responder. This is an application designed to simulate dss otherwise inimitably rad typing style tone cadence personality and substance of retort while he is away from the computer. The algorithms are guaranteed to be 96% indistinguishable from dss native neurological responses based on some statistical analysis i basically just pulled out of my ass right now.
STOP IT!!!!!
dialogic: (Default)

[personal profile] dialogic 2012-07-27 09:57 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh gee! With all the people milling about here it does become one hell of a puzzler.
Give me half a tick to think it over and-- YOU OBVIOUSLY!!
dialogic: (Default)

[personal profile] dialogic 2012-07-27 10:06 pm (UTC)(link)
Ugh!
Well i can safely say that being stuck in your body AS IN ACTUALLY BEING YOU has been nothing but a huge pain in the ass that you wont shut the frigging hell up about!
dialogic: (Default)

[personal profile] dialogic 2012-07-27 10:07 pm (UTC)(link)
That makes the whole thing even worse!

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