23 [Video]

[integrity]

[When the video feed turns on, Crowley is examining a pair of handcuffs. They appear extraordinarily normal, save for the fact that Crowley is in what appears to be a sex shop, and he appears pretty pleased with himself.

He's been back in town for about three hours -- and he hasn't told anyone. No, he wants to savor it -- to revel in the fact that he has won. He did it. He, and no one else, managed to win the game that is Life. Screw the Winchesters, screw Castiel, screw everyone, he managed what no one else did.

He beat the Leviathan.

So why not enjoy himself a little? And, true to form (though perhaps much happier than the Port is used to), Crowley tosses the NV the most insufferably lazy smirk known to mankind.]

I will have you all know that I have official documentation, signed by several important people that you should all care about, stating that I am now the ruling king of Canada.

[He is completely and utterly serious.]

I accept fruit baskets and fine liquor as tribute. Anyone who attempts to give me flowers or honey will be shot and fed to the dogs.

[Didn't you miss him, Siren's Port?]

Comments

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[returnsmagic]

Congratulations on your new Abyssal realm.

[ Aurican's stunted form of humor takes him into rather strange and sometimes awful direction. ]

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[integrity]

Thank you, I'm quite proud of it.

[Even Crowley has to appreciate the hilarity in being dragged back to the Port when Dick Roman gave him Canada as a so-called consolation prize.]

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[paterelohim]

What about those rotting corpse flowers?

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[integrity]

I have had enough of flowers and insects and bees to last a lifetime, thank you.

Pass it along to the ruling king of Norway or some other country that doesn't actually matter.

[hulkbusted]

I have mice. About a pillow's worth.

[integrity]

[ . . . ]

Why mice?

[Offline]

[ofthursday]

[This is not what Castiel is expecting to see. He hardly even checks his NV anymore, really, and especially hasn't the last week or so, not even to announce that Crowley had disappeared.

But he'd done so on a whim from the couch he hadn't moved from since the fight with Lucifer, only to see a very familiar demon's face. And, stretching out his grace, he felt his presence in the city; a moment later, the angel had appeared in a soft rustle of feathers, looking slightly worse for the wear but more shocked than anything else.]

You returned.

[He thought the demon had gone home for good.]

[Offline]

[integrity]

[There is half a second of silence as Crowley's eyes shift to take in the angel's appearance. And while Crowley is still ecstatic, still riding high on his victory, there is half a second of hesitation in feeling such a thing, because... well. He doesn't really know. Maybe he should talk to someone about it.

But the hesitation is gone in just that -- half a second -- before he arches his eyebrows.]

And you've gotten your ass kicked in my absence.

[With all the sensitivity of someone who doesn't actually care. And he goes back to examining the handcuffs with some amount of curiosity before -- ]

What size wrist do you have, Cas?

[video]

[chiefdefense]

I wasn't aware that Queen Elizabeth had rescinded her constitutional rights to Canada as a member of the commonwealth. That's a pretty bold statement to make without any evidence, Your Majesty.

[video]

[integrity]

Her Majesty the Queen lacks jurisdiction in my happy little alternate universe, sweetheart -- but I like the attitude.

What's your name?

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[therightchoice]

How did you do that?

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[integrity]

[There is a slight pause.

Oh. The Anti-Christ. The proper one.

Hrgh.]

Through high-rise negotiating, naturally.

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[spiderlilies]

King? I wonder, whatever shall your subjects do without you, while in Siren's Port?

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[integrity]

They'll continue on as they should.

[If they know what's good for them, anyway.]

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[athermercy]

Well, congratulations -- I don't know if the Port authorities will recognize the legitimately of your claim over Canada sadly. I'll give you a free drink and truffles to compensate.

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[integrity]

Not even with a charter from the ruler of the most powerful beings in the universe? For shame.

[Though -- ]

I won't say no to that.

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[safeguarded]

[Sarcastically:]

Does that mean I get a promotion?

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[integrity]

Consider yourself royalty.

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[motioned]

[A sigh, and she definitely does not realize what kind of place he's in.]

You are not.

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[integrity]

Contracts don't lie, sweetheart.

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[doctor_mccoy]

... [sure, why not? Is it even worth his energy to wonder?]

Why would you even want Canada?

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[integrity]

I love Castiel so much that I wanted to give him an excellent honeymoon location for when we decided to take a month off.

[It's said so seriously that he can't possibly be lying.]

permavoice

[blondejokes]

Are you serious?

[integrity]

Of course I am.

[upstairsbrain]

[ Just... no, what, why ]

Uh-- wow. That's... something.

[ Does he think you're off your rocker, Crowley? Yes. Yes, he does. ]

[integrity]

[Excuse him while his level of amusement triples.]

Isn't it?

[It sucks to be you, Sam Winchester.]

[Video]

[brat_from_hell]

What if someone decides to give you fine mead?

[Video]

[integrity]

How fine is the mead?

[Crowley is a snob. :|]

[Video]

[southernreaper]

[He heard Bruce in the other room.]

Beggin' ya pardon Mr. Crowley, but please don't send the hellhound over. We c'n handle the mice.

[Video]

[integrity]

You do know she's completely and utterly harmless unless I deem it necessary for her to kill someone, right?

[Because he's getting the feeling people don't actually know that. 8|]

[inthejunk]

This isn't even really Canada.

[integrity]

Close enough.

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[that_is_asecret]

Welcome back, Mr. Crowley. Congratulations on the expansion of your realm.

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[integrity]

My thanks at your well-wishing.

[video]

[electricitytrick]

I don't really care much for the king of the place I'm from, so I don't see why I should do anything for a king of a place I don't even know about.

Besides, since when can demons be kings of anything?

[video]

[integrity]

You were present for the discussion where I rule Hell, right? Because that is still very much a thing.

[He is going to be positively insufferable for at least a month, Anders, sorry, dude.]

IT'S SUCH A SHAME GABRIEL'S ON HIS HONEYMOON...

[worldhaditsway]

[Christina asks the important questions.]

Okay, Your Majesty, but what are the handcuffs for?

LMAO

[integrity]

How old are you again?

[Amusedly.]

[video]

[rapturescreed]

[Funny, actually.]

Welcome back. I wasn't aware that Canada had a king in the first place. Will your first decree have something to do with handcuffs?

[video]

[integrity]

These are for violent offenders.

[With the slightest lipquirk as he twirls one cuff around a finger.]

If you see a man in a trenchcoat, tell him I have a present for him.

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[bosomist]

A piece of paper is hardly binding.

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[integrity]

It's the magic behind the paper that's the important bit, sweetheart.