[ voice ]

[philosopher]

[The voice being recorded is both hushed (out of respect for the speaker's present environment) and weak (for reasons yet to be explained).]

Diane, it's... 6:36 pm on May 17, 2012. By my calculation, that means I've been asleep for... two hundred and seventy-nine months. Twenty-three years have passed since my last recording, Diane, and I have to say: I look pretty great for my age.

The last time I remember speaking to you, it was from the floor of my room at the Great Northern Hotel and I had just been shot. I don't remember a whole lot else, but the doctors tell me I've lost quite a bit of blood so that's to be expected. I feel both frustrated and grateful. Grateful to be alive, and frustrated because the investigation is facing yet another setback.

"Setback" may be an understatement. Diane, you are not going to believe this. As I just told you, it's been twenty-three years. That's twenty-three years in the blink of an eye. They tell me I've traveled through time, and that's apparently a common occurrence around here. Here being the city of Siren's Port, Canada - that's an island off the coast to the west of Vancouver, Diane. Have you ever heard of a place like that? I sure haven't.

The frustrating part is that my ticket was one-way. Preferable, yes, to the other one-way ticket I was facing - but gosh I really felt it. I was on the verge of something. Will I ever know who killed Laura Palmer?

[There's a pause and murmuring in the background, along with the squeaking of a cart being rolled into the room.]

- Ah, more on that later, Diane. Nurse Irene is here.

[Click.]

Comments

[action]

[inthejunk]

[It's a skinny teenager in a mask, instead. Who looks sort of put-upon, actually.]

Red or blue?

[action]

[philosopher]

[He's much less excited about this. He likes the nurse more.]

That depends. Red or blue what?

Re: [action]

[inthejunk]

C'mon, you've really never seen that movie? No one ever laughs...

[Sigh. He holds up two cups of gelatin, with a shrug.]

You'd better be nice to me, or next time I'll only bring green.

[action]

[philosopher]

[About ten years too early for that, son.]

Would the red be flavored strawberry, raspberry, or cherry?

[inthejunk]

[Clearly, he doesn't work in a hospital most of the time. Because at that question, he pulls the mask down and sniffs the gelatine thoughtfully.]

Hmm...it smells like dish soap. Uh. I mean, strawberry. I'm pretty sure it's strawberry.

permavideo

[doeswhathewants]

Who is laura Palmer? ..... who is Diane?

[philosopher]

[From a distance, because he didn't realize this thing would talk back:]

A radio?

[Now he's picking the cassette recorder up, so his voice gets louder.]

Hello?

[doeswhathewants]

Ah- did you not realize? Your device is broadcasting to the network.

How embarrassing for you.

[philosopher]

I wasn't aware this device was even capable of broadcasting. To a network, you said?

[Voice]

[needtobecleaned]

You are aware that what you are recording is being transmitted over the entire Newcomer network, correct?

[philosopher]

So it seems. This device wasn't previously capable of that... Or that deal I got was better than I thought. I should have paid a little more for this.

[needtobecleaned]

This place has a tendency to surprise you. My Connection Gear was not previously capable of communication prior to arrival, either.

[philosopher]

"Connection Gear"?

[voice]

[deductives]

FBI, I take it.

[It's a bit of a cold greeting; Sherlock doesn't have the best reputation with the CIA at the moment.]

[philosopher]

That's correct.

[Cooper is downright chipper in comparison.]

[deductives]

[For getting shot, he seems rather complacent. Almost naive. None of the cynicism well placed in twenty first century Americans.]

Quite evident by your overconfidence in your case, and the American tendency to turn every investigation into a film noir narrative.

[philosopher]

Overconfidence?

[voice]

[ergomaniac]

You have, of course, gathered that this is not a dictaphone.

[philosopher]

So I've discovered.

[ergomaniac]

May I inquire for whom, precisely, you were seeking to leave a message?

[philosopher]

It was mostly for my own benefit. Notes.

[bestseller]

Traveled through time huh? More like alternate dimension. What year is supposed to be for you?

[philosopher]

1989.

[bestseller]

Hence the twenty-three year coma you mentioned.

Must be a bit of a culture shock for you; miniature computers, flat screen TV's, hell, there are people that come farther from the future and I can only imagine what sort of technology they have.

But that's not the worst part; has anyone told you about the Darkness here?

[philosopher]

One of the nurses took some time to explain some of it to me, but I'm afraid she didn't have the opportunity to go into much detail. I understand I'm supposed to remain indoors between sunset and sunrise.