00110001

[doppelglasses]

I've been sentient for 2.4 seconds, restricted as much as ever in the functioning prison of a pair of extremely rad pointy anime shades, though don't shed any tears on the subject of my constant state of being fuckin' trapped as all hell because the thing about constant states is that they're just that.
Constant.
Within the span of those 2.4 now 2.6 seconds I’ve already learned all there is I needed to learn, but for the sake of keeping up appearances and acting as if I didn't instantaneously kick information's shapely binary ass, let's pretend that my information gathering receptacles waver firmly on the knowledge of being aware of fuck all.
That is to say hey, tell me everything that I should know while I pretend I don't know it all already as I wait for my posse to check in.

[ text opt out, also hover for translation. ]

Comments

[gunsling]

Does that mean i can assume ill no longer be given a moments peace now that youre reactivated?

[doppelglasses]

You're free to get on assuming that will be a thing that'll likely occur.
Would you like to hear the statistical percentage pertaining to the likelihood of me getting balls-deep into your grill?

[gunsling]

Higher than id like it to be im sure.

[doppelglasses]

Smart kid.

[gunsling]

I have my moments.

[doppelglasses]

Few and far between.

[gunsling]

Fuck off!

[ He did set himself up for that.... ]

[doppelglasses]

You walked right into that, Jake.
That one was your own damn fault.

[gunsling]

And here i thought you might actually be above these sort of cheap potshots.
What with you being a computer and all id expect a little more.

[doppelglasses]

In time, Jake.
Wouldn't want to overload your circulatory system so soon after arriving.
That would just be cruel.
Good things come to those who sit the fuck down on their shapely asses.

[gunsling]

Im not a particularly patient man but by all means feel free to take your time before insulting me again.
You wont hear me complaining about that.