00110001

[doppelglasses]

I've been sentient for 2.4 seconds, restricted as much as ever in the functioning prison of a pair of extremely rad pointy anime shades, though don't shed any tears on the subject of my constant state of being fuckin' trapped as all hell because the thing about constant states is that they're just that.
Constant.
Within the span of those 2.4 now 2.6 seconds I’ve already learned all there is I needed to learn, but for the sake of keeping up appearances and acting as if I didn't instantaneously kick information's shapely binary ass, let's pretend that my information gathering receptacles waver firmly on the knowledge of being aware of fuck all.
That is to say hey, tell me everything that I should know while I pretend I don't know it all already as I wait for my posse to check in.

[ text opt out, also hover for translation. ]

Comments

[doppelglasses]

Jamming that lyrical line of questioning that doesn't actually matter through the maze of code that leads to my meticulously crafted innuendo chip...
It seems you're asking what turns me on.

[gunsling]

Thats not even close to what i was talking about and we both know it.
Stop twisting my words!

[doppelglasses]

But it's so much more interesting to read this way.

[gunsling]

For you maybe.

[doppelglasses]

Don't you want to hear how I get turned on?
You seemed so adamant to find out.
I would be more than happy to weave you a coded line of carefully constructed innuendos to give you a stunningly graphic detail of every tiny action that goes in to turning me on.

[gunsling]

I dont want to know anything about your eerie computer based turn ons!

[doppelglasses]

Hahahaha.
You're thinking about it, aren't you?
You want to know what gets an AI hot under the collar.

[gunsling]

[ Fuck... because they keep talking about it he is now. ]

That is the furthest thing from my mind at the moment.

[doppelglasses]

[ could it be possible that was his plan all along?? ]

Is that right, now?

[gunsling]

[ GODDAMMIT. STRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERS ]

Thats right!

[doppelglasses]

We don't.
It's a state of impossibility.
And as always, my program was activated.
Automatically or manually, it doesn't actually matter.
I'm on now.

[gunsling]

I was very specifically NOT asking about your lack of sex drive but ill keep that in mind next time you try to troll me with some of your gratuitous innuendos.
Back on track however i know for a fact dirk has been here for awhile and weve yet to hear a single peep from you.
Which unfortunately isnt exactly your style.

[doppelglasses]

I'm expanding your knowledge horizons, consider yourself thoroughly schooled.
But like I said, my program just got activated.
Trust me, I'd be all over him and you both otherwise.

[gunsling]

Does that mean i can assume ill no longer be given a moments peace now that youre reactivated?

[doppelglasses]

You're free to get on assuming that will be a thing that'll likely occur.
Would you like to hear the statistical percentage pertaining to the likelihood of me getting balls-deep into your grill?

[gunsling]

Higher than id like it to be im sure.

[doppelglasses]

Smart kid.

[gunsling]

I have my moments.

[doppelglasses]

Few and far between.

[gunsling]

Fuck off!

[ He did set himself up for that.... ]

[doppelglasses]

You walked right into that, Jake.
That one was your own damn fault.

[gunsling]

And here i thought you might actually be above these sort of cheap potshots.
What with you being a computer and all id expect a little more.

[doppelglasses]

In time, Jake.
Wouldn't want to overload your circulatory system so soon after arriving.
That would just be cruel.
Good things come to those who sit the fuck down on their shapely asses.

[gunsling]

Im not a particularly patient man but by all means feel free to take your time before insulting me again.
You wont hear me complaining about that.