Text --> Video.

[crowsicle]

ok so it looks like you learn something new every day
as in you learn every day has some new bullshit its dedicated to like national tree history month or worldwide nigerian spam appreciation day
todays a pretty special one though
thanks agi by the way this has been real educational
im so inspired by your teachings ive decided to put together my own instructive video
gather round girls and boys
today were going to learn you how to choke a chicken
starring me
and my red feathery mutant cock
you ready for this sirens port


ok so it looks like you learn something new every day
as in you learn every day has some new bullshit its dedicated to like national tree history month or worldwide nigerian spam appreciation day
todays a pretty special one though
thanks agi by the way this has been real educational
im so inspired by your teachings ive decided to put together my own instructive video
gather round girls and boys
today were going to learn you how to choke a chicken
starring me
and my red feathery mutant cock
you ready for this sirens port

[The feed switches to video of a bedroom wall, and then quickly pans down to Davesprite's lap--where he's holding a live, half-grown, red-feathered rooster--which some people might recognize as one of the dyed Easter chicks he found--who quickly jumps ship in a squawking flurry of feathers. The feed ends.]

Comments

[video]

[crowsicle]

Actually it's an ironic retelling of the tragedy of the century.

[mustaches]

[She mulls over this for about five seconds.]

... I don't think I want to know.

[crowsicle]

It's cool, my gangster street thug life's not for kids or the weak of heart.

[Said the thirteen-year-old.]

[mustaches]

Clearly, it's a health risk of some sort.

[Why did she even answer oh god what is going on]

I don't think I ever got your name last time I talked to you.

[crowsicle]

Are you asking me to strip away my sweet orange aura of mystery? You know, Bro told me not to hand my name out to strangers.

[mustaches]

Fine, then. [A polite little throat-clearing.] My name is Jane.

[crowsicle]

Man, what is with everybody and their J names? It's like some kind of J-kid convention up in here.

[mustaches]

Are there really that many? I mean, I know that there's me and Jake...

[crowsicle]

You know that guy?

[mustaches]

Yeah, he's one of my closest pals!

[crowsicle]

Dude, but he's such a massive fucking tool. Like he eclipses the sun with his astronomic douchiness.

[mustaches]

[. . . wat . . .]

Hey, that's rude! Jake is not a tool!

[crowsicle]

Sorry, it's getting really hard to hear you over the planet-sized doucheprince sticking his head up his own gigantic ass to use as a megaphone, all insulting people and telling them they're not the real Dave and shit.

[mustaches]

[WOW WHAT, Jane just kind of stutters for a moment]

What are you talking about?!

[crowsicle]

Basically, your buddy's an insufferable prick, and I'm a Strider so I'm basically a leading expert on insufferability.

[mustaches]

[Okay clearly this guy has something against Jake, and she's too confused to argue, - BUT HARK!]

- Wait, Strider?

[crowsicle]

Yeah, Strider. What, are you gonna sit there all prim and righteous and tell me I can't be Dave fuckin' Strider, too?

[mustaches]

No it's just-

[The orange, the sunglasses, the name - Jane really hasn't been paying much attention at all to the people she's met here, but this is starting to feel a little bit weird.]

Do you know Dirk?

[crowsicle]

No. Is he an asshole, too?

[ B| ]

[mustaches]

[WOW why is this boy so rude!!! Jane is appalled]

No! He's perfectly nice!

[crowsicle]

Then why would I know him? It's like the universe decides who I get to meet by playing Battleship with my life, except they're playing with no boats and I'm already down to my P. T. destroyer.

[mustaches]

[A little scoff of frustration and offense.]

You haven't met anyone nice since you got here?

[crowsicle]

[He actually considers this for a moment.]

Met some pretty first-class broads. Like your friend.

[mustaches]

[Hold on, this might take her a moment.]

... Wait, Roxy?!

[crowsicle]

Yeah. She's pretty legit.