17 [Text]

[integrity]

Someone within this city is going to buy me a drink. Immediately. I prefer scotch, but really, anything will do. I also require a sledgehammer. Crowbars are also acceptable.

Your generosity will be repaid tenfold in both money, good will, and the feathers that I will be tearing out of my favorite down pillow. If you so choose to remain so, anonymous donations can be dropped off at my mailbox at the post office.

Remember: generosity is a virtue, not a sin.

x Crowley.

Comments

Voice;

[uberboned]

Me. [Gabriel's not even gonna deny it. Because it's funny.]

Voice;

[integrity]

[o. m. g.]

You do realize I am going to ruin your life.

Voice;

[uberboned]

What's the phrase I'm looking for? Four words...

Oh right. Come at me, bro.

Voice;

[integrity]

[Gabriel, he is going to ruin your entire world, goddammit.]

You shouldn't get cocky.

[He was raised in Hell, okay, and the other demons were a lot bigger than him. 8| He will wreck your shit.]

Voice;

[uberboned]

C'mon, Crowley. You traumatized my kid brother- and while it was the funniest thing I've heard in awhile... What was I supposed to do? Tell him to put on his big boy pants and let his husband walk all over him?

Voice;

[integrity]

[Ugh, Crowley wasn't planning on the angels actually doing anything, jeez, stop being a functional family for once.]

It isn't my fault he signed up to be the bottom in the relationship.

Voice;

[uberboned]

Just be glad it was me. If he had a decent rapport with Michael, you'd probably be ooze by now. Moderation doesn't really go down well upstairs.

Voice; Private

[integrity]

He threw a molotov cocktail of holy oil at Michael during the Apocalypse.

[Pls. 8|]

There won't be any tea parties there anytime soon.

Voice; Private

[uberboned]

And he and Lucifer can't have a civil conversation for longer than ten seconds and if Raphael were here... Well. Don't get me started.

Still. Be glad it was me. I actually like you.

Voice; Private

[integrity]

Don't get me started on how much I loathe Raphael's existence. Please.

[The worst mistake Crowley ever made was turning to her instead of handling Castiel by himself. In retrospect, he probably could have used his influence to force the angel to see reason, but no, he had taken the betrayal personally and went directly to Raphael in order to have him silenced.

Because that worked out well.]

Regardless of whether or not you like me, I'm confident in my ability to circumvent a pair of baboons.

But thank you, the approval makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.

Voice; Private

[uberboned]

Good, 'cause I know that Goodwill bathrobe won't keep you warm and fuzzy.

Voice; Private

[integrity]

[To which Crowley, the little demon that could, can only respond:]

Fuck you, Gabriel.