009 [Video] | Fail!Locked from Crowley

[ofthursday]

[When Castiel comes onto the screen, he looks... Disheveled. More so than his usual messy tie and fluffy hair; really disheveled, like a few extra buttons are undone on his shirt and he's missing his coat. Also he may be sprinkled in a large amount of gold and green glitter.

He doesn't seem impressed with life at the moment.]

What is appropriate retaliation against a friend who insists upon irritating you overtly and needlessly?

Unfortunately, I am aware that true physical harm is an overreaction, no matter how tempting.

Comments

[Voice]

[ofthursday]

If I wanted physical attention I would have sought it out myself.

[SO THERE besides he lives with you okay he wouldn't even have to look far if he wanted it.]

[Voice]

[integrity]

With whom, the crotchety grandmother down the road who would pinch your cheeks and feed you borscht instead of a strapping young man who would bend you over the counter?

[Pause.]

Though, I don't know, if it were the stripper I sent, you might actually be able to get the jump on him if you used the element of surprise, but I don't know if you have the sexual drive necessary to just push someone onto a table and --

[You can feel free to interrupt any time, because he is going to go into explicit detail.]

[Voice]

[ofthursday]

[OMG CROWLEY SHUT UP. Castiel's voice raises just slightly in pitch and a bit more in volume as interjects.]

The entire point is that I'm not interested. You can cease your hypothetical fantasies.

[Voice]

[integrity]

Don't be conceited.

You wouldn't be taking me over anything.

[Voice]

[ofthursday]

Neither would you, so we can cease discussing it, as I said.

[Voice]

[integrity]

Have you ever heard of Freud, kitten?

[It's a totally innocent question because of reasons.]

[Voice]

[ofthursday]

Yes. He was a human psychologist.

[Voice]

[integrity]

Just wondering.

[He'll just wait for Castiel to make the connection in six hours and throw an indignant fit over nothing.]

You do realize that humiliating me is next to impossible.

[He's just watching these sad attempts with a great amount of humor, ok.]

[Voice]

[ofthursday]

[Castiel rolls his eyes, though it can't be seen, glad for the topic to have moved on.]

You realize if anyone is capable of it, it's me.

[Due to the whole awkward knowing each other better than almost anyone thing.]

[Voice]

[integrity]

[Crowley considers that point for a moment or two.]

That much is true, but I still doubt you could find anything to actually humiliate me with.

[He grew up in Hell with Lilith for a best friend, he's endured it all.]

[Voice]

[ofthursday]

I am creative. That's why you wanted me as your partner.

[And he can use his creativity for evil, you know.]

[Voice]

[integrity]

You cried over having Dean Winchester's tongue down your throat.

Forgive me if I'm not impressed.

[Voice]

[momchester]

[. . .]

What?

[Voice]

[integrity]

It was a shapeshifting stripper, that's why it was funny.

[As if talking about the weather.]

[Voice]

[momchester]

You sent him a shapeshifting stripper that looked like Dean.

[ B| ]

[Voice]

[integrity]

With glitter.

[Voice]

[momchester]

Why?

[Voice]

[ofthursday]

To be irritating, clearly.

[It's the only explanation.]

[Voice]

[integrity]

I'm rich. I was bored. Castiel was there.

Why not?

[Voice]

[ofthursday]

[Ashjdfkshjkl]

It wasn't Dean, which was why it was particularly...

[Awkward? Unpleasant? It was definitely the former, though not entirely the latter. And he doesn't mean to imply that if it was it would be better, but... Argh.]

You sent me a shapeshifting stripper, Crowley. What part of that did you believe would not be alarming?

[Voice]

[integrity]

Most individuals would consider that a goldmine, considering it could transform into your wildest dreams and fantasies.

Should I have used Meg instead?

[:|]

[Voice]

[ofthursday]

I have no emotional investment in Meg.

[SO YES. Unlike Dean that wouldn't have been creepy, just weird.]

[Voice]

[integrity]

You would rather fuck a visage of Meg than Dean Winchester, who while he may be filled with diseases and the last vestiges of an extraordinarily bad night in Arkansas, is not a complete and utter whore.

You are disgusting.

I'm disappointed.

[Voice]

[ofthursday]

[Okay back up wait what?]

That isn't what I said.

[Voice]

[integrity]

She's the filthy dishrag of the underworld, kitten, she probably has the ability to give individuals syphilis just by breathing on them. Who knows where that meatsuit of hers has been, but with the way she dresses it, I can almost safely assume she picked up a Hooters girl and killed eighteen rattlesnakes to clothe it.

Filthy. I expected better of you.

Truly.