sirenspull | 001 [Video]: Oh, Canada.

[The NV turns on, showing a very sleek-looking dark-haired man with sharp cheekbones and sunglasses smirking at the camera. Even over the NV, one can tell that this is a person who knows he's better than everyone else around him- there is no uncertainty in his features, just full-on arrogance. When he finally speaks, his English accent is so smooth one can practically roll a carpet on it.]

Well, let's see here. You know, I've been going through this thing's previous posts and such, and wow, all the entries from people who have just arrived really share a lot in common. You'd think that there's some kind of checklist that we have to get through once we arrive. Like, number one, you must certainly, without a doubt, ask "where am I?" or "what is going on?" or "why have I been dragged across time and space itself to the wretched wannabe of a place that is Canada?" Because finding out things by asking people who might lie to your face instead of quietly gathering information by your lonesome is clearly the way to go.

[A pause as he lets that sink in.]

Second, you must ask where your friends or family or dog or beloved garden gnome is in this place. Which, most of the time, results in nothing but statements like "No, I haven't seen your gnome" to "Oh, yes, your gnome was here before, but I'm not sure where he's gone off to now, sorry about that".So why bother asking? No, I'm going to skip that part entirely- I've already checked the NV for the people I know and they're not here, so, just look at all the time I saved.

Third, you may either a), mention that you "can't stay here because you have something important to go back to" or b), basically give your whole life story to people because you can. I'm not doing the first option because, frankly, I'd rather not repeat the Apocalypse all over again, thank you, and I'm not doing the second one because, honestly, I'd rather keep all of you in the dark. Why in the world should I reveal who I am or what I do without knowing exactly who lives in this place?

[He grins widely.]

What I can tell you is that the name's Crowley. [He pronounces it like it rhymes with "holy".] Anthony J. Crowley. And I do not need your pats on the back or your offers to be my best friend ever or your little cheerful fake welcomes. All I need is information about the darkness at night and how this city works and other such things.

Do be nice and provide it to me. I'm sure a few of you have the collective brain to do so.

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[And Crowley switches on his filter -- and the video feed. He's in his home, in a leather chair that looks slightly too big for him, but he seems to take it up anyway. And his hellhound, ever present, is at his side, her massive head resting on the arm of the chair, with her nose pressing into his sleeve, but the demon doesn't seem to notice or pay attention to her.

The dog hasn't left his side since he was murdered.]

I didn't have to kill him. I helped lock him in the Cage. But regardless -- that's antiquated history that isn't relevant anymore. We can discuss that later, at a different time. More importantly --

[Crowley shifts slightly, his eyes a little brighter, with interest.]

You're a fallen angel, aren't you?

[Michael wouldn't have given half a shit if he weren't family.]

Edited 2012-03-21 22:32 (UTC)

Yeah. I'm totally used to the superhero comic book thing. Then again, alternate dimensions are kinda usual back home too.

[She snorts.]

Not even close. Just call me Jubilee.

That's the gist of it. Most people just try to make a good go of it while they're stuck here, sometimes the Core does send people back where they came from but it's random.

No kidding, right?

So what year are you from?

[He narrows his eyes, taking the image of the room in, as well as the large hellhound. Now, that's a hellhound. The one he had seen that had belonged to Adam had been...well, changed, for lack of a better word.]

That's still a history I'd like hearing at some point. "At some point" being another way of saying "soon".

[He doesn't answer for a bit, still thinking of whether or not it's a good idea, but eventually just shrugs and answers, nonchalantly:]

Yes, I am. Not that that matters to the dear old family much. Had Michael check in on me just recently, that was a nice surprise.

What's it to you? Worried I'll suddenly go miracle on you or something?

It's not a story to be told over an NV. It carries much more weight and dramatic flair when I tell it to you in person.

[A dismissive wave of his fingers.]

And no. I actually happen to like fallen angels, with the exception of Lucifer, of course. They tend to see things my way instead of attempting to smite me across the floor without listening to what I have to say.

I eagerly await the stage production of the story with costumes and special effects, then.

[He lets out an amused huff.] Yeah, well, we're special like that, aren't we? Though you're pretty odd, for a demon...I was expecting more "Hail the King of Darkness" rather than "Oh, bugger him, he's a twat."

I'm different than most demons in that I'm not a self-righteous whore.

[It's said lightly, though Crowley seems pretty pleased with this assessment, and he shrugs a shoulder.]

You don't gain respect by being an asshole.

1990.

You?

Random? So, it's like a bloody lottery as to who stays and who goes, huh?

So, you're used to this kind of stuff in everyday life? Figures. Did you wear spandex and all those weird costumes they had?

Alright, Jubilee, then. A pleasure.

Good for you. Was there like a self-help course for that, or what?

[He can't help but smirk at that.]

Oh, I know. Most of the time? I'm a pretty charming guy, because the only way to tempt is to get on people's good sides.

I am simply the product of a long line of evolution culminating in me telling the script to fuck off.

[Pleasantly.]

A temptress? Selling sin to saints? Sounds like my business. The fallen angel I'm living with certainly isn't that exciting.

I suppose that makes sense, being my namesake and all.

I'm afraid so.

Something like that.

[She grins.]

So you're a demon, huh? Lord of Hell and all that?

1965.

Since we're on the subject - got any future info on how long the actual Cold War lasted? If you're from a world where that happened, I guess.

You're the man walking out from a lineage of apes, I see.

[He lets out a laugh.] You have another fallen angel? And yes, tempting is my business. After all, I was the original tempter. But I've branched outwards quite a bit. My colleagues back home are still going around tempting one person at a time, and I'm tainting millions of people all at once.

For example, I tied up all the telephone lines during lunch hour once. You should have seen the looks on people's faces.

[He stares for a second, before answering, carefully:]

What makes you say that?

It was pretty much winding down the time I left, so that should tell you how long it was.

Well, hello there second Crowley! What can I help with? Maybe point you in the way of a good bar?

Perfect.

[A frustrated sigh.] Well, better go on and try to survive, then. Because it looks like I can't do much else.

How?

I mean. 'Winding down' kind of implies a lack of massive thermonuclear kaboomery, so I guess everybody managed to avoid that?

[What.]

[What is happening.]

[IS THIS THE REAL LIFE]

[IS THIS JUST FANTASY-]

...Um. Yeah. A-a bar would be good.

[THE LAST TIME HE SAW YOU YOU WERE IN A MOTORCYCLE HELMET AND YELLING EVERYTHING WHAT IS GOING ONNNNN]

Demons weren't common back home but I ran across one or two. And, you might have noticed the rather prolific population of one very cranky, bitchy, Scottish Demon who claims to be the king of hell.

Oh, yeah, there was the big threat, but in the end, no one really did anything. They pretty much threw up their arms and were like "welp, guess we can't do much here" and now there are peace talks and stuff going on back home.

Though the world almost did end in a nasty nuclear explosion which was unrelated to that.

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