Sam Merlotte's PSA of the Day

[shifting]

[Sam is sitting in his chair, tossing a tennis ball between his hands. contemplative. Frustrated.]

Since I've been trainin' hellhound puppies for the past couple weeks, I'd like to talk with everybody 'bout a topic I'm pretty familiar on - dogs and dominance.

Now, this is somethin' about dogs a lot of people think they understand, but really don't. For one thing, a lot of people don't understand how big it is in socialization. It's as important as it is with people, even if people aren't as ready to admit it's important to them too. We like to view everything as bein' equal, and everybody bein' on the same keel.

Well, dogs don't. Dogs like to know where they stand with each other. They like knowin' who's in charge and what's expected of them. Makes 'em feel safe, makes 'em feel secure. So there are dominant dogs and submissive dogs. And just like with people, dominant dogs can be fuckin' jerks about their power once they know they have it. They can use it to bully everybody else in the pack, just like people do with other people. Or they can be aggressive with everybody they meet no matter how they're treated 'cause they're mentally unstable, same with people.

But here's the difference - dogs don't pick fights they don't think they can win. Not the smart and sane ones. ...And right now you're probably rememberin' some time you've seen a tiny dog pick a fight with a doberman, and you're thinkin' I'm full of shit. Except that most times when that happens, that small dog's with their owner. That's a whole different matter - that's knowin' you've got backup, and a way out of the situation if you bite off more'n you can chew. 'Course, there's times a small dog'll run a bigger dog off, and that's got to do with how confident that big dog is in their size. There's times you can gruff your way through a situation on sheer posutrin', but that's a risky game. An' dogs know it. Most times, the moment the other dog proves he's not gonna buy it - which often means bitin' or a physical tussle - the smarter, smaller dog gives the game up. They crouch low and they stay quiet, 'cause it's clear they can't push their way through his situation. They don't crouch with a snarl, they don't roll over with a growl - they just fuckin' crouch low and wait for the situation to defuse. Or they run.

[He catches the ball one last time and leans forward, staring steadily] You know why they do that? Because it's not fuckin' worth it. Pushin' a situation you can't win, mouthin' off and actin' like a smartass when it's just been proved your ass can't handle what you're spoutin' is suicide. You don't challenge a healthy, strong dominant when you're weaker'n they are and you've got no one to dig you out. You just don't do it. You wait 'til they're weak, 'til they're sick, and you know you've got a chance. Challengin' before that is only goin' to tip 'em off and put them on their guard anyhow.

Now, this ain't the same as when you've got somethin' real to guard. When some bear or wolf or whatever comes into a dog's territory and threatens 'em, or their pups, or their people or their pack - that's different. Then a fight might be your only option to keep your people safe. Not always, but sometimes, sure. But when you've got nothin' at stake - when you're just growlin' at someone dangerous 'cause you don't like them, or you don't like what they do or they did, and you don't have the means at the time to do somethin' about it - you aren't protectin'. You're challenging. Which makes it a matter of proving dominance, and which means that 'less you wanna come out of it maimed or dead, you'd better know your weight beforehand.

Comments

[allucinator]

This is a metaphor, ain't it?

[shifting]

Always knew you bein' clever'd come back to bite me. [but it's good-natured, and he's tossing the ball again]

[Video]

[vw_coyote]

Sometimes, you have to challenge the dominant so they don't think you're going to roll over and show your throat.

[A smirk as she backs out from under the hood of the car she's fixing.]

And sometimes, it's a lot more fun to needle them when it isn't an open challenge and all they can do is grind their teeth.

[Video]

[shifting]

It's a matter of knowin' who you're gettin' in a challenge with. Holdin' your ground is fine if you know they aren't the type to rip your throat out for it, but that's not always the case.

[he'd share the joke if this wasn't a metaphor and he wasn't trying to make a point. As it is, he doesn't return the humor.] Yeah. Right up 'til the point it does become a challenge and they're off the lead.

[audio]

[classdismissed]

Are you trying to say something, Sam?

[His voice is drier than the Sahara.]

[audio]

[shifting]

Now why would I have reason to do a thing like that? Except that we've got a whole pack of cocksure young pups runnin' around nippin' at every heel they can get at it.

permavideo

[doeswhathewants]

Of course, that is assuming that the larger dog is as or more intelligent than the smaller dog. Brawn doesn't always win a fight. The cleverest of dogs know that.

permavideo

[shifting]

True enough. But it's damn hard to think your way out when you've got someone's jaws on your throat.

It's all a matter of weighin' the risk. Weighin' what you've got to gain and what you've got to lose.

[Offline]

[thelightbringer]

[Lucifer appears behind him.]

What am I in this lesson?

[Offline]

[shifting]

Besides one big fuckin' dog? [craning his neck back so he can see the devil behind his chair]

voice;

[gabriel_gray]

The smaller dog isn't always more intelligent than the larger.

voice;

[shifting]

I made a point of that, yeah. The point bein' it's that difference that can keep you alive.

video;

[manofthenorth]

When you get this lesson through to any of them, let me know.

[video; private; hackable]

[shifting]

I feel like if all the Newcomers had grown up in Bon Temps, or anywhere after the Great Revelation, I wouldn't be havin' to make points like this. 'Least not as often.

[Voice]

[madeinoblivion]

[There's a drawl of a kid who very clearly hears the message, but very stubbornly refuses to listen. He's still sore about... too many other things, and getting a big long network lecture is just- it's hollow like the final nail in the the coffin.

So here's a piece of eyerolling teenaged sarcasm, which probably isn't the way anyone should be mouthing back at their boss.]

Yeah, okay, Sam. Sure.

[Voice]

[shifting]

...You could stand to listen to some of what I've said just now, Joe. [especially after he paid off your debt]

[private, unhackable] [text]

[12second_orz]

You're late, Merlotte.

[private, unhackable] [video]

[shifting]

[oh godammit, not now.]

I'm still makin' payments. [just not the minimum.]

voice

[askedtobe]

You took the words right out of my mouth. Except yours were a little longer.

voice

[shifting]

I'm honestly not much for big speeches. ...Or at least I wasn't 'fore someone gave me a goddamn blog to make 'em in.

voice;

[axemeaquestion]

I take it something stupid happened.

voice;

[shifting]

More like a couple somethings.

[voice]

[ergomaniac]

[Edgeworth's voice is a bit quiet, and it's most certainly measured.]

But people are not dogs.

[voice]

[shifting]

No. I'd say we're even more social, and it matters even more to us.

Text. [sorry, clicked post by accident]

[crowsicle]

whats your sagely advice for all the tweety birds who dont have a choice in the matter
say the dogs got the scent of your best bros and a bone for murderstabbing
down to fight or flight and as fly as you are flights no longer an option
what do you do to get your dog whisperer mojo on
besides offer yourself up as a chew toy

Text.

[shifting]

No, then you fight. And you hope you've got luck or smarts or skill on your side. ...And if you can, you find some allies willin' to help you do it.

[ video ]

[hostage]

Sounds like bullshit, yo.

[ video ]

[shifting]

You know, I don't even know your name, and you're half the reason I made this post.

It's kinda funny when you think about it.

[predominates]

[ Hi, I'm Irene Adler and I approve this post. ]

That's why I like to keep them on a leash.

[shifting]

[Hi, I'm Sam Merlotte and I have a bad history with dominant women]

...I guess if you've got the means to do it.

Video

[that_is_asecret]

Occasionally I have seen some of the most surprising creatures triumph over the largest. Though its usually when backed into a corner with no escape.

[He is talking about humans of course]

Video

[shifting]

There's always an exception.

[brat_from_hell]

That's a good lesson to learn. But what about the dogs that are a lot stronger than they look?

[shifting]

Then you're fucked.

[Video]

[doctor_mccoy]

And yet they're all likely to get fleas and choke on chicken bones.

You know if people are too thick to figure out something that dogs know instinctively, metaphors aren't gonna save them.

[Video]

[shifting]

Our last president choked on a pretzel. Doesn't say much.

[he shrugs] It gets 'em talkin' at least. How've you been settlin' in?

video;

[motioned]

Neither dog should want to fight in the first place.

video;

[shifting]

They don't. ...Not really. It's just - their way of figurin' out who's who, who fits where in the group.

video; private

[unfeasible]

And what're you s'posed to do when the dog's protecting, but everybody else gets it wrong?

video; private

[shifting]

"Gets it wrong"?

[video]

[rapturescreed]

I suppose it's good that we all have something to fight for, then.

[video]

[shifting]

Just hope it's worth it.