three narrations | audio; filtered from haruhi suzumiya

[facepalms]

[When Kyon turns on the feed today, he remembers to filter it from his very "special" chief of the SOS Brigade, and soon enough, the people listening to this may hear a very audible sigh before the teenager finally speaks up.]

White Day's in two days. Which, to be honest, isn't a good sign for me. Yeah, I know not everyone celebrates it, but a certain someone I know does.

['And that certain someone, as we all know is the hurricane named Suzumiya Haruhi.']

So, let's just say that I need to give a pseudo-goddess a gift on that day. And I have no clue what to give her that, well... wouldn't set off a bomb that would possibly and most likely hurt me. I am definitely not going to give her some miniature carnivorous dinosaur.

Right.

So, what would you give as a present to a person who won't accept something 'ordinary'?

Comments

[voice]

[facepalms]

['That sounds like a horrible cliche gone wrong.']

And where exactly am I supposed to find flowers that sing?

[voice]

[cruelties]

You can find anything in this city. And are there not devices who can play a recording of a voice if all else fails? [Get with the program Kyon. This guy is from Victorian times for heaven's sake and he's instructing you how to be clever with modern technology.]

[voice]

[facepalms]

[...That is not very helpful.]

Great. Now I have to go hunting. But yeah, I guess I should just say "thank you" and move on.

[voice]

[cruelties]

Now, now, you can't send a young lady just any sort of flower. [He chortles.] Tell me how you feel about her.

[voice]

[facepalms]

We're just subordinates in the same club. That's all.

[Even though he secretly cares about her but nope, never revealing that information.]

[voice]

[cruelties]

But you wish to leave an offering at her altar?

[He may or may not be making an implication but-- it sounds like it all the same.]

[voice]

[facepalms]

... Huh?

[He facepalms. Thank goodness that he didn't turn on the video function on this.]

Well, she's not really a goddess, so no.

[voice]

[cruelties]

But she's a heavenly young woman?

[voice]

[facepalms]

Not that either.

[voice]

[cruelties]

I see. Well, perhaps a bouquet of Marigolds then.

[voice]

[facepalms]

Okay. Singing marigolds. Got it.

[voice]

[cruelties]

[Oh Kyon, I hope for your sake the young lady is unaware marigolds symbolize pain and grieving in the language of the flowers.]

I wish you luck.