014 | Video

[whycantistay]

[When the feed comes on, Fred isn't really looking at it. The sun is setting and she looks sick. Wiping away traces of blood from her mouth she finally speaks.]

Wesley? I think-- [Things have mostly come back. She was here. She was definitely here before. For months. And-- and Connor. She had her memories of Connor replaced here. Angel and Angelus. And Lucifer. Her eyes go wide.]

Angel? Angel are you still here? [Oh God, she'd died. She remembered the pain and the blood and her body was so broken. Her hand moves to her mouth in shock.]

Chuck. Oh God, please. Someone tell me if Chuck is okay. [She swallows. So much had happened.]

And Lucifer. The vampires. I-- remember. I was here and I died. And I loved someone. I remember it. But I went home and-- [And she's going to die. Her eyes fall down and she just can't deal with all of this. The last shot before it turns black is a second or so of tears starting to fall.]

Comments

[thelightbringer]

Don't be dramatic. None of the others were anything like you. [If they had been, Lucifer would have cared when they were killed. Duh.]

You can't go home again, then. And neither can I.

[whycantistay]

I'm not special, Lucifer. I'm just a girl who really likes physics. [She gives a small smile and takes his hand.]

That doesn't lessen their deaths. Just because you weren't affected doesn't change the nature of what you did. It was wrong. And your actions led to my death.

I'm still ruled by the Core. If I'm taken, I have no choice. I'll fight it when I go back. I'll try and learn everything I can. But I'm very scared.

[thelightbringer]

[He frowns at her because no, Fred. But he doesn't want to argue too loudly about it because she's just a human after all. He wouldn't even really argue for most of his brothers anymore.]

I didn't plan on anyone dying, Fred. You know that.

[He squeezes her hand lightly and runs his fingers in small patterns on her palm.] Everyone is afraid to go back. Anyone who has anything to lose here, or nothing to gain there. But we have to try.

[whycantistay]

[She raises her brows.]

You're not a child, Lucifer. You can't pick the wings off a fly just because it's fun. Chuck is seriously pissed off at you. I know you're capable of better, but he has a point.

[She squeezes his hand.] I do forgive you, you know. But I wonder if you feel remorse because you were affected or true empathy because I died. You don't care about the others.

If I go back, I have no choice.

[thelightbringer]

Chuck is always angry at me, Fred. He'd take a demon over me--if it hadn't been this it would have been something else.

[He watches her a moment.] I do feel empathy. You could say it's one of my EHarmony-worthy qualities.

[whycantistay]

I know. But he does have a valid reason this time. You took away someone he loved, someone who loved him back. It's a rare thing to have that. Especially here.

[She doesn't know what that is. Fred just watches him back, brown eyes on his.] This isn't a joke.

[thelightbringer]

And he helped throw the person I love most in Hell. I regret what happened to you, not to Chuck.

[It's the first time Lucifer has ever snapped around her. He reins it in quickly, but it's out there, the bitterness and hatred and betrayal. The confusion because there are moments he thinks maybe Chuck is just trying to be his friend.]

I'm not joking. I'm just not used to these deep-and-meaningful conversations. There weren't a lot of them in my family.

[whycantistay]

Michael. [Because of Dean, she's guessing. Your universe is different.]

That's a shame. Because I'm leveling with you. You're capable of a lot more than people give you credit for, and I don't think you're just a sociopath. You're not hopeless. But you have to understand what you did was wrong. I'm a human; I'm not a toy, just because I break easily.

I'm sorry God created us and neglected you. Honest, I am. Every angel I've met here I found so much worthier than me. But just because you're better than us doesn't mean you should go around destroying things because you can. A lot of people have really shitty family lives and it scews their views as adults, but you fix the problem yourself if you have to.

Only you are responsible for your actions. Did you even own up to what happened with Angel and Godric? Or are they going to have to pay for it?

[thelightbringer]

Yes. [It's the weakest admission he's ever given.

He didn't say much else as she spoke, because what can you say with a tiny human saying one right thing after another? He'd heard the 'get over it' speech before in regards to his father, of course. And the sick thing was that he was trying; but his hopes fell on Michael, and that hadn't gone any better than blaming God had.]

No, they're not going to suffer for it. Neither am I. Godric is trying to punish himself, but-- [A shrug. He won't let the vampire do that.]

[whycantistay]

Make it right. Prove that you're better than humans. Don't let my death be for naught. [She looks at him squarely in the eye.]

I'm not saying it's easy. The family thing. I was lucky to have two really caring parents. But I'll let you know that I do believe in you. And you care, too. You saved a human. Remember that next time you want to strip souls of highly dangerous creatures. That you cared about one -- just one of God's creations. Even if it was just me.

[thelightbringer]

[Of course she couldn't make it easy on him. He balks at the idea of any of God's last creations being worth saving--except he'd tried. He'd lean on the memory of what he suffered because of them, what he lost because of them, but it's jumbled and confused with the memory of God's answer to him. He needs space to process.]

We should get you home before Chuck sends out the cavalry.

[whycantistay]

[She nods.]

I'm always around if you need to talk. [She's pushed him enough to think. That's a win in her book.]

[thelightbringer]

Don't tell Chuck.

[The next instant they're outside the HoA again.]

You can still pray, you know.

[whycantistay]

I don't keep secrets from someone I love. And I'm not ashamed of seeing you.

[She gives a short nod.] I know.

[thelightbringer]

...All right. [He's actually relieved to hear it.]

I'll check up on you, but since I'm sure Chuck will have you under lock and key, try to make it easy on me.

[whycantistay]

He can't keep me on house arrest. [She moves in to give him a hug. Yes, hugging Satan. She can do that.]

I'm pretty sure I can take him. [She says quietly, almost conspiratorial before pulling away.]

[thelightbringer]

[Yes. Surprisingly, she can, even if it startles him a little.]

I don't doubt you could. Good luck, Fred.

[whycantistay]

[She tilts her head and smiles at him.]

You'll be hearing from me. And thank you. [With that, she heads back into the House.]