Tenth Trick: Permavideo

[doeswhathewants]

[The NV flicks on, propped up on a table, focused on Loki who sits cross legged on the floor, a baby sling across his chest. The sling is occupied by a lump that is invisible to most, save for a hot pink mohawk and a hot pink collar with a little silver hammer shaped tag dangling from it. The hellhound looks plump and happy to everyone who can see her.]

This- [He speaks with his head bent over the hellhound] -is Thora. Say hello, Thora-

[He helps her wave a faintly pink paw at the NV and she tries to nip his fingers in retaliation]

She's kind of the best hellhound ever. [In that condescending way only thirteen year old boys are capable of. And then suddenly serious, green fire in his eyes] And if anyone were to harm her, I would put their insides onto their outsides and join her in having a nibble. Just saying.

[And then that jovial demeanor returns again.] I've been learning much about the mortal world thanks to Google- the browser of webs. But so much information conflicts. I wish to know more. Midgard and humans are so different than what I always thought.

Comments

[harriedosborn]

[ Sighs... ]

Well, that's pretty vague. What do you want to know more about?

[doeswhathewants]

Everything, Harry.

What is a hipster and why do they wear scarves in warm weather? Why are humans so easily prejudiced against each other when they are all mortal anyway? How can a human be born in the wrong body and why do they switch genders? Do they have technology or magic to do that now? What is the difference between Chicago and New York pizza and why is one better? What is the point of baseball?

[harriedosborn]

Here, I can answer some of that.

Hipsters think indie/bohemian inspiration means that they ought to dress how they feel like, practicality aside. I'm not sure when scarves became cool, but I guess it was around the time socks and sandals stopped being nerdy? Uh -- because some people are rich and other people aren't, and I'm not sure, but I think there's surgeries for it. New York invented pizza, so it's better by a process of elimination, plus quality.

And baseball's fun.

[doeswhathewants]

Socks and sandals? Why? That seems incredibly impractical. What does wealth have to do with humans disliking each other? -Okay, the surgeries make sense, I think. Though magic would be easier. I thought New Jersey invented pizza...[He might be trolling you.]

Baseball is boring. No one even gets hurt.

[harriedosborn]

Socks and sandals are impractical, but that doesn't stop people from wearing 'em. Rich people don't like poor people because they think they're a drain on resources, and poor people don't like rich people because they're hoarding money. New York invented pizza. [ So defensive. Even though he lived in New Jersey... ]

Have you ever even seen a baseball game?

[doeswhathewants]

[The smallest grin at the insistence over New York.] Why are people poor, then? [Lokis ask the darndest things]

Yes. A few. Though I prefer soccer. All those riots and hooligans. On Midgard, I didn't just try to incite the Avengers and take over the world, you know.

[harriedosborn]

Because they don't have any money. It's pretty simple.

Soccer is the boring sport. Baseball grows on you, you just have to see it enough times. Or play it. Whichever.

[doeswhathewants]

But why don't they have it?

Perhaps if the balls were on fire, the bat was made of lead and the entire game was played with angry bulls let loose on the field it would be interesting.

[harriedosborn]

Their families are lower income, they don't have good jobs, or any jobs, they live in poorer cities or countries. There's tons of reasons, I don't know. I've only been poor twice.

Sports today aren't supposed to be like something the Gladiators would have had to deal with.

[doeswhathewants]

Well. I can understand that.

[Arches a brow] But that is entertaining.

[harriedosborn]

It's gruesome. But there are other sports than baseball -- it's not my favorite or anything, it's just kind of [ "nostalgic" ] a way to pass the time.

[doeswhathewants]

What is your favorite, then?

[harriedosborn]

Tennis, I guess. I'm not really an athlete.

[doeswhathewants]

One does not need to be an athlete to enjoy a sport.

Tennis is the one with the small, bright ball and the net, yes?

[harriedosborn]

Yeah -- it's great exercise. I played on weekends at my country club.

[doeswhathewants]

That does seem a bit more refined than beating one another with swords or fists.

[harriedosborn]

Oh, yeah. It's much more about coordination and strategy.

[doeswhathewants]

Ah! Strategy is important. Anyone can brute force their way into and out of a situation, but the one who controls the situation, who extracts moves from others is the true master.

[harriedosborn]

Exactly. That's part of why I took it up.

[doeswhathewants]

More and more interesting.

[harriedosborn]

Is it?

[doeswhathewants]

I meant you. [He says in that vaguely condescending 'the human did something interesting' but he's getting better at losing that tone because he really means it.]

[harriedosborn]

What's so interesting about me? [ That sounds more self-depreciating than it's intended to be. ]

[doeswhathewants]

Intelligence. Playing to one's strengths.

[harriedosborn]

I figured it would be good practice.