sirenspull | [ voice ]

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[ voice ]

[This is voice-only for once because he's a wreck right now, honestly, and even the lack of video doesn't fully disguise that. He sounds shaky, still recovering from a shock, and it's only worse that now he's gone almost 48 hours without a bump to pull him through the stress.]

H-Hey, um... Sam, I'm so sorry. I forgot to call last night. I'm gonna be out, like um, for the month? If you wanna fire me, that's cool. I get it.

And, like, don't got a lotta time so I'm just gonna say it all here for anybody who's looking for me: I ain't at home. I think most of you guys know I'm an addict. I was in recovery, I relapsed, and now I'm in rehab. They don't want me leaving for two weeks at least, so you won't be seeing me around. Just don't worry. I didn't disappear or anything.

Um... You need anything, Lisbeth's still at my place. She can handle all my business. And I got my NV, but it's turned off a lot 'cause I'm in meetings and all that. So... yeah.

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Good. I'm glad.

[It's hard to see him hurting.]

Can you get visitors?

You don't, um... You don't wanna see me go through this. I won't be in here that long, anyway.

You're not the first person in the world to have an addiction, Jesse. I saw my son turn into a literal black-eyed monster who tried to murder his friends.

[That's her life, bro.

But she nods anyway, respectfully.]

If you don't want visitors, that's fine. How long do you think you'll be in?

Two or three weeks? Like we're thinking maybe I'll be out in time for my birthday... I dunno. There's a lot I gotta work on.

And, look - It's not like I think you're gonna judge me or anything like that. I know you ain't like that. It's just that I wanna treat you right when I see you again. And not like... I been lately.

[She smiles at that. His heart really is in the right place, even when he's going through a thing like this- a big scary thing that she doesn't really understand.]

Only if you're treating everyone right.

[Including himself.]

I'm gonna do my best.

I know.

I just want to be a good friend. You know you can count on me even when things are messy, right?

Yeah. I know.

Good.

Good luck, Jesse.

Thanks.

Seriously... Thanks.

[Mary, you are his sunshine.]

You're welcome.

You want to go see him?!

He's my friend, John. Addiction is the same everywhere- people need support and to feel like they aren't being abandoned.

[It's said with no small amount of light-footed judgement. She still gets tense with him on the subject of Sam.]

He's obviously got people who support him, god knows why. You don't need to be one of them.

And?

[There are a thousand things the impulsive parts of her want to say, but.]

You don't need to be one of them.

Are you telling me not to?

[danger, Will Robinson.]

[Erk. Abort abort abort]

No, but Mar, not everyone's good deep down. Usually they're just even worse.

That's not true if you're paying attention.

[She's still stung badly from losing Michael.]

Baby, I know you wanna see good in everyone, but you can't just put it there and hope it sticks.

[Sharply:] He isn't Tom.

[It's not a fair card to play, but it still heavily colors her view of people- and his few of her, she knows.]

What makes him any worse than Sam or Dean? At least he's getting help.

I know he's not Tom, but not being Tom doesn't make him okay. And our sons aren't junkies, for starters.

Good people just don't get mixed up in drugs like that.

[Pretending the '70s never happened right now, la la la.]

Don't act like you didn't have the same friends I did, John. We both know that isn't true.

[You don't get to pretend away the 70's. They were just the other day for her.]

Dean has as much of a problem as you do and on some level, some part of Sam is designed to be an addict- what makes them better? Being our sons doesn't make them better people or Jesse any worse.

That was over 30 years ago, things were different then.

[No one they knew ended up with a crippling coke habit or a junkie. He even stopped smoking. It's all about self control, obviously.

At least, that's what he wants to think.]

Are you calling our boys drug addicts?

I'm calling them what they are. Sam will always have a problem with demon blood even if he's on the wagon, and Dean has a problem, and so do you.

Sam literally can't stop being an addict. Does that make him a bad or untrustworthy person?

The world isn't divided into good or bad. Things aren't always simple. Understanding people means accepting hard truths.

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