video.

[jokesonthem]

[It takes him a while to figure out the NV. (In fact, it takes him a while to realize he has it, busy as he is searching for somewhere to wash the dirt off his face, pacing back and forth a lot, and laying down to will his wounds to stay closed.) He has, in truth, not a clue how it works, except that it seems to respond to his touch. He has poked tentatively through network broadcasts and determined the meaning of "video," the only command the thing offers he doesn't recognize--although he hesitates about touching that command, himself. He is dissheveled and in his pajamas and looks quite rattled, in his opinion, which surely is too embarrassing to show complete strangers.

... But maybe they would have some sympathy for him if they could see his face. He turns on the video...

...giving everyone a lovely view of his nightshirt's collar and the lower half of his face. There is a plaster on his cheek, and some wrapped bandages visible crossing his collarbone.]

Well, is this thing working? [He taps the screen sharply, then holds the NV a bit farther away, which puts the rest of his face (and more bandages!) in view-] How am I supposed to tell--oh, is that me in the corner?

[Serious time, Reim. He squares his jaw and regards the NV with his best business face.] My name is Reim Lunettes. I would like to request several things, if I may: information, something to write with, and-- c, clothes.

[He mumbles the last part. This is humiliating...]

Any assistance would be greatly appreciated, thank you.

[He nods, and his eyes dart around in the typical manner of someone who has no idea how to find the 'stop' button, but he gets it eventually, and just before he finally presses it he adds (an afterthought, his voice climbing out of its calm tone and becoming decidedly freaked out by the end):]

If--If there is anyone here who knows me, please come and find me!!

[oh wow this is so embarrassing he has to go FEED CUT]

Comments

[maddeninghatter]

[ SWATTED! He pulls his hand away, disappointed. And then-- ]

That's the ticket!

[ --lovely, lovely crunching. And whining. He reaches for the wheel, to see if he can induce more in the way of property damage. ]

Let's see what else we can flatten! ☆

[jokesonthem]

[why this

Every time he tries to push Break's hands away he inadvertently turns the wheel just too far with his other hand--this tank probably looks drunk, from the outside.]

Xerxes, stop touching everything.

[The crest of this hill cannot come fast enough.]

[maddeninghatter]

[ Jeez this thing is slow. They could have walked faster. Still, they can't be far away, at this point. ]

You're noooooooooo fun at all.

[ Being specifically told not to do something is tantamount to a command. And Reim's phrasing is such...

...well, it makes him do something he likes to do at meetings, just to watch Reim flinch. It's a move he describes as "looking for candy," and involves his fingertips and the side of Reim's thigh. ]

[jokesonthem]

[One would think that, given how accustomed Reim is to not having any personal space, he would also be used to this.

One would think that. But no; he makes a noise (it is akin to "eep") and makes a grab for Break's hand.]

Listen to me!

[maddeninghatter]

[ He's forgotten; he'd expected to be touching layers of wool jacket, over wool trousers, or possibly a tassel or two. Instead his fingers brush across the thin fabric of Reim's shroud. Because that's what it is, of course.

His gloom returns. He sits quietly, apparently chastened, and doesn't resist when Reim grabs his hand. ]

I'm sorry.

[ He can apologize for little things, even if he can't mention the big one. ]

[jokesonthem]

[Again, with the apologies. Reim is tired and sore; this time, he won't press. He lets go of Break's hand and returns to his steering.

It isn't long until the gate is finally in view.]

We're here. [He assumes. Probably, it is the correct gate at the top of a hill.] Stop sulking.

[maddeninghatter]

I'm not--

You see the gate?

[ The gate is shut, he knows; there is an automatic security system, designed to keep out "unauthorized vehicles." He'll need to call down to have it unlocked...



Oh wait. They're in a tank. ]

Just steer for it, if you please. The door will open.

[jokesonthem]

You are.

[Said half-heartedly, as he peers at the gate. It opens by itself?

Well, he certainly is in some other impossible machine, so that seems. Fine. Trajectory unchanged!]

[maddeninghatter]

I'm not! Look how cheerful I am.

[ This would be the point at which he reaches for That Button. With those lightning-fast reflexes of his. ]

BOOM!

[ Blowing things up makes everything better. ]

[jokesonthem]

[What did he JUST SAY about touching everything! Not for the first time today, Reim is reduced to shocked staring. Give him a moment.

Deep breath.]

THAT'S NOT WHAT OPEN MEANS!

[littlest_lord]

<sub>[Usually Ciel Phantomhive is rather adept at dealing with stress, especially considering the hoard of crazy people he's let live with him. Unfortunately, there are just some days where he's pushed over the edge.

This would be one of them.

Ciel had been busying himself by throwing darts at a crudely drawn picture of Sebastian's face he'd taped up to the wall of his office when he hears the boom, the sound immediately causing him to freeze and jump upright.

It only takes him minutes to hurry out down the stairs and out to the front of the house, his jaw dropping. There was a tank rolling up onto his lawn. A tank that had just clearly blown up the front part of the gate to his manor.

JUST WHAT THE HELL WAS GOING ON?!

Stuck between anger and fright Ciel began running toward the tank, only to stop himself after a few feet. What if they shot at him next?]</sub>

[maddeninghatter]

Ooooh, stop complaining! Can't stand it when a man frets too much, it's unbecoming!

[ Break is sorry he can't see the wreckage, but still. For a brief, ineffable moment - everything is beautiful. He is happy. ]

[jokesonthem]

You demolished a gate! Xerxes, for-- [FUCK'S SAKE HONESTLY] Let me out of this thing!

[And he sets about reaching for things and then not actually touching them, because he doesn't know which control is "open hatch" and which one is "vaporize that fine house."]

[maddeninghatter]

Huh? But we were having so much fuuuuuuun!

[ Break reaches for the--

Oh, wait. Not that one. That's probably the flame thrower. This is the one. POP!

The driver's escape hatch opens. He scrambles out of Reim's lap and out, up onto the hood of the tank. He'd plant a conquering flag if he had one; but he doesn't, so instead he just waves. ]

[littlest_lord]

_{[Oh. Oh no. If Ciel had the energy he would've smacked himself in the face with his hand. Instead, he simply begins running toward the tank again, storming up to it with his little fists at his sides. Ciel is practically fuming. There is an extent to the damage he can accept to his property, at least in a given time frame. Gilbert and Break already had trashed his ballroom earlier before. Now this.]}

XERXES BREAK, HOW...HOW DARE YOU-!

[jokesonthem]

[Reim is halfway out of the hatch when he notices the very upset--er, child? Well, it isn't a surprise that someone else is yelling at Break. And if this tiny stranger is mad about the gate--

--then Reim should apologize profusely to him. He is sort of responsible, after all. He waves his arms in a gesture that's supposed to convey "please don't ruin us like we did that gate."]

Sorry! We're very sorry--! [beat] I'm very sorry!

[maddeninghatter]

Lord Phantomhive. Good to see yoooooooou!

[ Oh dear, is Reim prostrating himself again? Break takes him by the arm and hauls him the rest of the way out of the tank. ]

This is my very best friend, Mister Reim Lunettes~♥

[ Break is actually counting on your fine manners, Ciel, not to comment on Reim's appearance - that is to say, that he's clad in a shroud and barefoot, obviously dead and buried and just recently returned to life.

That Reim is actually in his PJs is something Break doesn't realize. Nor is he aware of Reim's bandages or his wounds. ]

He'll be your guest for a while, naturally.

[littlest_lord]

<sub>[Just. Just....

Just no.

Flabbergasted Ciel can barely process what's happening. Break is, hands down, the most irritating person he's had to deal with. He's even worse than Undertaker. Right now, at this very moment, Ciel'd rather climb into one of the reaper's coffins than have to deal with this man.

Once he finds his words though, they spew out of him like water from a garden hose at full pressure.]</sub>

FIRST you take complete advantage of my hospitality, then you steal my car and drive it around like some maniac, you EAT ALL of my desserts and steal my candy from the pantry, leave the ballroom in absolute disarray and NOW you drive a TANK onto my lawn, blow up the front gate and invite a stranger to come live in my home?!

I'M the master of this house, Xerxes Break, and yet everyone seems to forget that fact! You're only still allowed to set foot inside this home anymore because Gilbert requested it!

_{[He's catching his breath now, the poor child red in the face as he stands, pointing an accusatory finger at the troublemaker.]}

Get this abomination OFF OF MY LAWN!

[jokesonthem]

[Oh, it's called a tank. NOTED...

Reim spends the duration of this little exchange giving Break the most disbelieving-slash-irritated look he can manage; if it were more dignified, he would gesture between them and say REALLY? a few times, but he resists.

At one point he hisses this isn't even your house, I can't believe you at Break, just before he huffs and shakes his arm free. He considers stepping forward, to... try to reason... well no, to try and prevent someone taking out a death wish on Break, but.

All things considered, he would rather stand here looking ashamed and deeply apologetic. Good enough.]

[maddeninghatter]

[ Break is still cheesed off about the ballroom and what happened therein, so he frowns. But it doesn't last. He hops lightly off the tank, down to the tiny raging Earl and then...

Pats him. On the head. ]

Right, right. Well then - that's settled! Come on, Mister Reim! Enough tank-driving for one day~!

[ Swinging his stick jauntily, he heads up the walk to the main house. He's in need of a lie-down and a blanketfort and some candy, not necessarily in that order. ]

[littlest_lord]

<sub>[What.

What.

No. Pats do not work like that. Pats are not appreciated. Break is not getting through by just walking away. Ciel has more self dignity and pride than that.

Running up ahead of him, Ciel stops in the middle of the path, right in his way.]</sub>

Stop walking. _{[He's not shrieking anymore, but his voice still carries the same cross undertone. It's stable now, when he speaks, but on the inside he's shaking with rage. Every little bit of Ciel is offended by Xerxes Break and while he may not have Sebastian around to order, while he may not have any explicit power, that doesn't mean he's going to let himself get walked all over without expressing his displeasure first.]}

You insolent, self absorbed man. Don't you dare treat me like a child. I'm more than that and while titles may not mean anything here, I am still an Earl and deserve some semblance of respect - something you have denied me since you arrived to this place.

You are not setting foot within my house until you apologize to me. Properly.

_{[His tone is eerily cool and smooth. No more nonsense. He was sick of it, stressed out beyond belief, and if he had to pull the tiny little handgun tucked away in his pocket to knock some sense into this man, he would.]}

[maddeninghatter]

[ He bends over, breaking at the waist. Is it a low bow - or is he simply trying to get down to Ciel's level? ]

I beg your pardon, your Lordship. Unlike you, I am of no noble birth whatsoever. A mere servant.

Does the apology of a servant mean anything to an earl?

[ He'd looked sort of vaguely conciliatory. But now he grins. ]

If you want to drive the tank, I'll let you sit in my lap!

[littlest_lord]

I don't want to sit in anyone's lap.

_{[He grits his teeth, standing as tall as he possibly can. Which isn't much at all.]}

Of course it means something. An apology is an apology, whether it's from someone of noble birth or not - their past doesn't matter. It's their sincerity and character that does.

combo time

[maddeninghatter]

Aaaaah, but I'm afraid his Lordship's feet won't reach the pedals otherwise, and--

[maddeninghatter]

[ Break's grin fades away. Thanks, kid. Try hitting all of his buttons next time, why don't you? ]