001: Video

[hulkbusted]

[The man on the screen looks utterly exhausted. Haggard might even be apt considering the greyish pallor of his skin under his dark stubble and the even darker circles under his eyes. When the video jostles in his hold for a moment, it displays his bare chest before coming up to his face. He looks like he tried to wash off some combination of mud, sand, and various other things best not examined too closely and didn't do too great a job of it. Despite that, he tries for a tired smile and a finger taps the screen before withdrawing.]

First off, I'd like to say that Tony Stark makes the world's most durable phone. I'd do a testimonial commercial, but that might be in bad taste.

Second, I've read some of the information available and I think you'll understand it's not the easiest thing to swallow, but I'm going with it as a working theory for now. Don't ask why, it's a long story.

Third... [He trails off and turns his head away from the camera before looking back at it] I don't know what the third is, let's say I want to issue a blanket apology and leave it at that.

[ooc: The Hulk ended up getting stuck outside at sundown and fought (pounding and getting pounded on) all night. Between that and a chitauri invasion, I figure Bruce is feeling a little run down.]

Comments

[blondejokes]

That's what it does.

[hulkbusted]

I have already reached my quota of believing six impossible things before breakfast.

[blondejokes]

You might want to expand your quota limit.

[hulkbusted]

I'd rather not. My quota's met, my dance card's full, my weeble has been wobbled. I think it's in everyone's best interest if I go somewhere and [freak out] meditate.

[blondejokes]

Weeble?

[hulkbusted]

They wobble but they don't fall down. Nevermind, you probably have to be my age to get it.

[blondejokes]

Oh. Is it an animal or something?

[hulkbusted]

It's a toy. They're egg-shaped with a weight in the bottom to keep them upright. They wobble but they don't fall down.

[God he feels old.]

[blondejokes]

Sounds like a weird toy. But I know a few idiots who'd have a lot of fun with them back home.

[hulkbusted]

But they came with a great marketing catch phrase.

[blondejokes]

Yeah?

[hulkbusted]

[And thus Bruce comes to believe that Ino is very slow up the uptake.]

Weebles wobble but they don't fall down.

[blondejokes]

[ well excuse you Bruce they did not have those in Konoha!!! ]

That's it? I thought great slogans used more alliteration.

[hulkbusted]

I've remembered that slogan for 35 years and I don't even like weebles.

[blondejokes]

[ she just shrugs. ]

Oh, and you know you only have a month free in the apartments, right?

[hulkbusted]

I'm not going to stay in the apartments. I don't usually like being locked in with a bunch of other people.

[blondejokes]

Where are you going to go?

[hulkbusted]

Did I get knocked in the head or do I not remember you pulling knives on me and attacking me just yesterday and you want to know where I live?

[blondejokes]

Do you really think I'm going to sneak in and kill you?

[hulkbusted]

I know a tiny little woman who's one hell of an assassin, so let's just say I'm not taking chances.

[blondejokes]

Whatever. Just don't stay on the streets.

[hulkbusted]

I won't be spending another night outside, that's certain.

[blondejokes]

That's all I was asking, jeez.

[hulkbusted]

Do I really need to point out that it wasn't?

Look, I don't get all green and destructive on a regular basis [anymore] if that's what you're concerned about.

[blondejokes]

But you're still dangerous if you decide to turn into that ... other guy, the Hulk.

It's not like this city needs even more reasons to hate us.