sirenspull | 001: Video

[The man on the screen looks utterly exhausted. Haggard might even be apt considering the greyish pallor of his skin under his dark stubble and the even darker circles under his eyes. When the video jostles in his hold for a moment, it displays his bare chest before coming up to his face. He looks like he tried to wash off some combination of mud, sand, and various other things best not examined too closely and didn't do too great a job of it. Despite that, he tries for a tired smile and a finger taps the screen before withdrawing.]

First off, I'd like to say that Tony Stark makes the world's most durable phone. I'd do a testimonial commercial, but that might be in bad taste.

Second, I've read some of the information available and I think you'll understand it's not the easiest thing to swallow, but I'm going with it as a working theory for now. Don't ask why, it's a long story.

Third... [He trails off and turns his head away from the camera before looking back at it] I don't know what the third is, let's say I want to issue a blanket apology and leave it at that.

[ooc: The Hulk ended up getting stuck outside at sundown and fought (pounding and getting pounded on) all night. Between that and a chitauri invasion, I figure Bruce is feeling a little run down.]

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Only in passing, my brother is an Avenger, too.

[Ignoring the yes because it could go either way.]

[Bruce's face gets large as he brings the phone closer to his face to peer at Loki on the screen.]

[Weirdo. He holds his NV further away.]

What are you doing?

Tony's an only child, Steve's too old to have a kid brother, and you don't look like Clint...

[His words are coming more and more slowly as he puts that together with the only other male Avenger with a... Wait, did Thor have other brothers?]

Loki.

I had not intended to make you guess, but you are correct.

And from that tone, I should think that version has just done something villainous. I do not envy you, it gets worse before it gets better, should your world's pattern follow my own. [Lokis don't apologize. Especially if they don't really care.]

What's with the boy scout meets a terrible spandex accident look? [Steve has an excuse.]

Traditional garb of my -ah- half giant side. Careful, they are an oppressed minority, the social justice Tumblr set will be on you should you say too much.

[Bruce has a big brain, but it's having trouble processing this. He's also sure that there has to be a muzzle out there just waiting to find a home on Loki's face.]

[That, my good friend, would be child abuse.

So Loki's just going to Kanye shrug.]

[It doesn't count when the child is over 91000.

And Bruce is getting information on this kid from other sources.]

[Does so when he's thirteen in people years.

Besides, everyone loves him.]

[Loki years are like dog years. Or would that be horse years? Horses get muzzled young.

God of Tricking Himself?]

[God of Poor Life Decisions, thank you.

Thor does resemble a golden retriever, so that might work.]

[Amen to that. Puny god.

Go pee on a tree.]

Will you give Tony my message?

I got his voicemail, but left a message. Whether or not he contacts you is up to him.

[Another person with a differently constructed ego might have trouble saying this.]

Thank you.

[Okay, so it did leave a slightly bilious taste in his mouth.]

Mm. You are welcome.

001: Video

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