sirenspull | 001: Video

[The man on the screen looks utterly exhausted. Haggard might even be apt considering the greyish pallor of his skin under his dark stubble and the even darker circles under his eyes. When the video jostles in his hold for a moment, it displays his bare chest before coming up to his face. He looks like he tried to wash off some combination of mud, sand, and various other things best not examined too closely and didn't do too great a job of it. Despite that, he tries for a tired smile and a finger taps the screen before withdrawing.]

First off, I'd like to say that Tony Stark makes the world's most durable phone. I'd do a testimonial commercial, but that might be in bad taste.

Second, I've read some of the information available and I think you'll understand it's not the easiest thing to swallow, but I'm going with it as a working theory for now. Don't ask why, it's a long story.

Third... [He trails off and turns his head away from the camera before looking back at it] I don't know what the third is, let's say I want to issue a blanket apology and leave it at that.

[ooc: The Hulk ended up getting stuck outside at sundown and fought (pounding and getting pounded on) all night. Between that and a chitauri invasion, I figure Bruce is feeling a little run down.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I'm really not going to get used to that. Do you know me? Or another me?

Mullets happened, and people got used to them. This alternate universe stuff ain't so bad. Heck, I've met myself from different universes before, now that is a trip and a half. Not to mention really weird when there is a female version of you chilling about with a dog version of you, a kid, and a zombie head. Then we can talk weird.

[He is curious about one thing]

So whats your property damage tally so far?

You got used to mullets?

Was the zombie head a version of you? I'm trying to keep up here, but you might as well be scatting.

[He's not amused by the question.] I didn't ask. Less than a Harlem, more than a broken mirror.

Never been a jazz guy. Headpool as we called him, was indeed a zombie. You Docs usually have some sort of thing to explain all that jazz right? All I know is I had to deal with a lot of me.

[He seems amused by it]

You are far behind a bunch of the other newcomers actually. Considering some of the stuff that goes bump in the night here, you may as well have been a cat shredding the drapes.

Like I said, quantum physics. I think multi-worlds theory applies best, which is more like branches on a tree, but some physicists favor the concept of chaotic inflation - limitless bubble universes with variable natural laws. Do you really want me to go on? I can't give you most of the math because I only read a few papers.

And I don't want to destroy things. I didn't want to have that episode yesterday. I wanted to go back to Stark Tower and take a nap actually.

Don't really understand much about it. I'm more of a do things rather then a thinker.

[He shrugs]

Well, you can take a nap at the House of Awesome. Could probably get you some food. And I know you are thinking 'This douche is just randomely offered me stuff, I am le suspicious because people always fuck with me', yeah I get it. You tried to help me out at one point in my universe not that long ago, so I'll just pay back the debt to a different you.

[That is a little confusing That it is, brain. That it is.]

[Bruce has to take a second here to parse that out and insert it into his rapidly readjusting view of the world as he knows it. His worldview keeps trying to spit the new stuff out and things are just getting a little sloppy in his head.]

Let's just simplify things - I've got a place to stay and a disturbingly fast, heavily armed young woman is taking me to get some clothes, but I have to ask, what did that other Bruce do for you that you're trying to pay me back for?

[That's simplifying?]

Ah Scotch? Yeah, she's pretty cute.

[He looks away a bit]

Lets just say you tried to help me do something I've wanted to do, but couldn't. Didn't work... but I appreciated the effort.

Scotch? She looks like she'd try to poke me with something sharp if I called her that.

Fair enough. What's between you and that other guy - not the Other Guy - is between you and him. [Even if now Bruce is really curious.]

Eh, she seems pretty chill about most things.

Appreciate that, Doc.

I'm not sure chill's the right adjective.

Do I get to learn your name? It seems fair since you know mine and the Other Guy's.

Call me Deadpool, resident badass, and purveyor of awesome. I also bake some mean muffins.

I think I'll stick with Deadpool unless you have a real name. It's not like I go around, "Hey, Iron Man, can you pass me a wrench?"

Sounds good to me.

[He does have a real name, just doesn't throw it out there as often]

So if I say, "Hey Deadpool, can you bake me some mean muffins?"

Then I'll be all like "Well shit son, I can bake you some mean muffins, be prepared for deliciousness to invade your face!"

[It feels good to laugh and he doesn't do it often enough.]

Hey Deadpool, can you bake me some mean muffins?

Well shit son, I can bake you some mean muffins, be prepared for deliciousness to invade your face!

[He is willing to humour you, your life is also pretty crappy]

Once I get settled I'm going to take you up on that. Since the universal consensus is that I don't have any choice about getting settled other than going out into the Darkness, and that's not going to work for me.

It is a good workout though. Great way to keep the combat skills sharp.

I'll leave that to the professionals. Which... you are?

Bounty Hunter, security, mercenary, former black ops. Fought all sorts of people.

That sounds like more excitement than I'm looking for. Go, stab, slash, guard, turn, parry, dodge, spin...

I do all those things, though shooting is most assuredly part of the list.

And then bake muffins. I can see that you're a renaissance man.

Video

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