video; ~5 pm

[momchester]

[Mary looks... well, alive, which is a bonus, but also frazzled and exhausted, with pale skin, dark circles under her eyes, lips chapped, hair falling out of her ponytail.

But more than that, she looks haunted.]

I'm back. I'm alive. [Her lips press together in a thin line. She bows her head and talks to her knees.] No thanks to those monsters.

I don't know if anyone else made it out... there were no- [sniffing hard to avoid tearing up.] -shelters. Nothing Darkness proofed. [Head still bowed tightly.] I don't know if any of those people I fought with made it out alive, but if they didn't, I'm going to tell you all right now.

[She finally looks up, eyes welling now with tears she refuses to cry.]

They hunted us. They bound us, put collars on us, they put us in cages. They chased us and hunted us down like we were fucking dogs and we couldn't-

[she claps a hand over her mouth, breathing hard to rein in her emotions. When she opens her eyes again, there's something chilling and deadened in her eyes.]

When I died at home- the first time, before I came here... it was a demon. A demon pinned me to the ceiling and burned me alive in my baby's nursery, and I didn't feel as violated as I did those two days. In that cage. [She shakes her head intently, looking away.] Those monsters kidnapped children. They wanted to see every one of us die like dumb fucking animals.

I wonder what would happen if I prayed for them. [There's a weird look in her eyes. Something you wouldn't leave your children alone with.] It's the Christian thing to do.

Would I get their souls into Heaven, or their heads on a plate?

[With a last ugly look at the NV, she turns the public feed off.]

[Private to Jinx]

I found a plus one.

[Private to the angels]

Did you hear my prayer? [The one she whispered as she lay dying.] Please, tell me none of you- tell me you didn't go there. Please.

Comments

[failedparenting]

[Setting aside the pain and blood because what the hell did she just do.]

When the hell did you learn to do that? Are you okay? [He brings his good hand up to cup her face. Then, tentatively:] Did they do that to you there?

[momchester]

No. It's hard to explain.

[Or impossible without damaging their marriage.]

Sweetie. [Taking his good hand from her face gently.] Can you hold the glass? Please? Just let me take care of you.

[It's stupid. She knows it is. But goddamn it, she wants to do something useful after twenty-four hours of the goddamn all-consuming helplessness on those hunting grounds.]

[failedparenting]

[He opens his mouth to protest, but thankfully stops to think this through. There's something bad wrong with Mary. She was just hunted down and murdered like an animal. She's erratic and jumpy and hurting, clearly she needs this for whatever reason.

So he just nods and pushes his bleeding hand at her.

As he watches her, he suddenly feels ashamed for being angry with her earlier. How fucking insensitive can he get?]

[momchester]

[John should understand. He fought in 'Nam. He knows what it's like to lose men right in front of him, and to feel the utter horrible helplessness of having an enemy all around who knows the terrain and can't be stopped and has every edge on you.

They've never talked about it, but she's always known that he knows. Maybe, until now, she didn't truly understand. Not the way she always thought she did.

Her hands are still shaking when she bandages him up and presses a trembling kiss to his palm, what part of it that's exposed.]

Hope this is okay

[failedparenting]

[Oh he knows. Jesus Christ, how he knows. He knows it so intimately that there are still nights (on the tail ends of horrible, bloody days) he'll wake up trying not to scream.

If John could she the images that keep haunting her, he'd have a hard time of it too. They're too close to his for comfort.

And slowly, as she bandages his shaking hand with her own, it dawns on him what had been bothering him about Mary's actions since the garage (besides the obvious, of course). It's like looking in a gaunt, shellshocked mirror, and he understands.]

Oh Mar...[Gently, he pulls her close to him and strokes her hair. She used to do this for him when it got bad.] Just breathe deep, okay? You're safe now.

uguuu yes

[momchester]

[She draws a quick breath and tenses up instinctively, shivering against his touch for a long, locked-up moment. It's hard to marry her reality with what's happening to her in the moment, to find a halfway between how she started this infinitely long day with being caught in John's strong arms with his hand in her hair, but slowly his words and gentle soothing get through to her. Slowly she squirms closer and lays her hand on his chest, fisting his shirt like a child clinging to its mother- or someone finally feeling a strand of comfort, finally.

It's almost a relief when she buries her face in his chest and lets out a broken sob- enough that it's only a minute or so before her breathing levels out again.]