[video]

[ace_of_knaves]

[The Joker is sitting in the bean bag chair. He's wearing an outlandish fur coat and a feathered fedora. In one hand is a glass of wine. The hyenas, Stan and Ollie, are crouched at his feet eating something that may or may not have once been a person.]

Nothing like surviving a plague to really make a fella think about his own mortality. Whatever shall we do if we find ourselves slipping outta this mortal coil, hmm?

[He smiles lazily into his glass]

Me? I'm working on my bucket list. Things to do before I kick the bucket.

...There's a funny phrase, eh? "Kick the bucket". Now where the heck do you suppose we got that from? Hanging? Kick the bucket away and you turn and spin and start to dance.

[He looks thoughtful a moment then blinks.]

Er. Anyhoo, where was I going with that thought before I so rudely interrupted myself? Ah, yes! The list!

[He looks meaningfully into the camera.]

What would you lot do if you had a week left to live? Think about it! Then do it. Thank me later, on the other side. Let nobody say old Joker doesn't care about his public.

Comments

[Video]

[ace_of_knaves]

Sheesh we sure got a lotta martyrs up in this burg.

[Video]

[corks]

If it counts, I was already about to die before I came here, so what's done is done.

I'm no martyr, really. I just don't see the use in using something I have no need for.

[Video]

[ace_of_knaves]

What if this whole island were one week away from blowing sky high? BOOM!

Mass extermination. No more Siren's Port. Curtains close on another pointless show.

What then?

[Video]

[corks]

Then what happens, happens.

Of course, people would try to prevent it, and I wouldn't blame them. I'd encourage them, even. But sometimes, some things have to occur.

And I would just die like I was supposed to do back home. I don't wish for death, don't get me wrong. But it was something that is meant to happen.

[Video]

[ace_of_knaves]

[He steeples his fingers]

So you'd accept the final punchline? How cute.

[Video]

[corks]

[There's an amused sort of huff.]

Really, even if this entire island did blow up, that wouldn't really be the final punchline, would it?

[A pause, and then it sounds as if he's saying something he's said countless of times before:]

It only ends once. Anything that happens before that is just progress.

[Video]

[ace_of_knaves]

See? You get it.

I like you.

[Video]

[corks]

Thank you.

It's a philosophy I've believed in for a very long time.

[Video]

[ace_of_knaves]

How long might that be?

[Video]

[corks]

[He smiles ever so mysteriously.]

A long time.

[Video]

[ace_of_knaves]

Another immortal, eh?

[Video]

[corks]

[Jacob just shrugs, as if the Joker asked him what the weather was going to be like tomorrow.]

You could say that.

[Video]

[ace_of_knaves]

You must be a doozy to Christmas shop for.

[Video]

[corks]

Oh, nobody has ever given me a Christmas present. And I have all I need. I don't really expect presents from anyone, quite honestly.

[Video]

[ace_of_knaves]

Nor should you.

'Cause what do you get for the man who has everything, eh?

[Video]

[corks]

But that's the point.

[He smiles, amused.]

I don't have everything. I have something, but not everything.