sirenspull | [video]

[The Joker is sitting in the bean bag chair. He's wearing an outlandish fur coat and a feathered fedora. In one hand is a glass of wine. The hyenas, Stan and Ollie, are crouched at his feet eating something that may or may not have once been a person.]

Nothing like surviving a plague to really make a fella think about his own mortality. Whatever shall we do if we find ourselves slipping outta this mortal coil, hmm?

[He smiles lazily into his glass]

Me? I'm working on my bucket list. Things to do before I kick the bucket.

...There's a funny phrase, eh? "Kick the bucket". Now where the heck do you suppose we got that from? Hanging? Kick the bucket away and you turn and spin and start to dance.

[He looks thoughtful a moment then blinks.]

Er. Anyhoo, where was I going with that thought before I so rudely interrupted myself? Ah, yes! The list!

[He looks meaningfully into the camera.]

What would you lot do if you had a week left to live? Think about it! Then do it. Thank me later, on the other side. Let nobody say old Joker doesn't care about his public.

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I do!

They're great little beasts. They always get the joke!

[Ollie cackles.]

[ Dexter tilts his head. He's not good with humour, except for the kind where nobody laughs. ]

Sure. Makes sense. Don't they smell?

No more than the rest of this dung-heap of an island.

I think you've got something there. Never been much of a dog person myself.

Actually, they're more closely related to cats.

[Somewhat bitterly.]

A daffy dame in tight leather taught me that.

Well, that's fine. I'm not much of a cat person either. Animals don't like me.

[ That sort of happens when you spend your childhood stabbing them. ]

Probably not a people person either, amirite?

Actually I'm pretty good with people. That's why I work alone in a laboratory.

Sounds like work's a real poop on your social life.

Born and raised in Miami. And you'd be surprised. My work means that I get to meet lots of interesting people. Some of them even become close friends.

You meet a lot of people working alone?

My word.

Are you a witch?

Something like that. I'm in forensics. Means I get to know people better than they even know themselves.

Confabbing with cadavers eh?

Sounds like a hoot.

What can I say? I'm an artist.

...Are you mocking me?

What do you mean?

[He sneers and waves a dismissive hand.]

Forget it.

[ Man Joker you would love his blood spatter paintings. They are works of art. He loves his work. ]

What's on your list? Get a tattoo? Date an Italian?

That one would be more like mocking you, by the way.

I'm serious, though. One week left, what do you do?

I'm doing it!

You've lost me.

I mean this ain't no hypothetical question.

I'm gonna die soon, you see. That's what this is all about!

[He spreads his arms, spilling some wine]

Well....that and the Batman....

It's always been about the Batman.

[ He just looks surprised. Batman, huh? ]

You sure? I mean--apart from the green hair you look fine to me. What're you dying from?

Loneliness.

You can't die of loneliness.

Actually scratch that. I thought you couldn't die of guilt, either, but now I know better.

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