[text]

[mediumdrip]

Kurt and i went to hospital together.

Now cant find him. so many people here. dont know where he is. tought hed be next me.

cant get up to look.

anyone seen him/



[ooc; Blaine is pretty bad, so all typos in post and comments are IC. Also, Blaine wouldn't be replying as quickly as I do, so there will be lots of notes about time stamps in subject lines. If you want to do some action threads for character you might be sick or tending the sick? Blaine's been put in quarantine and will be pretty sick, but I'm always up for action threads.]

Comments

[showbizpanache]

I... [He swallows, shaking his head.] I've let many things--build up. I hid them away for so long, and I just...

[A sigh.] I blamed myself for so much. For everything, really. And I didn't even realize it, but...

I thought...

[mediumdrip]

You thought?

[showbizpanache]

However, briefly, I thought...

[He swallows.] I thought that it might be better if I wasn't...here. Alive.

[mediumdrip]

[Blaine looks distressed over that] What?

Why?

[showbizpanache]

I don't know.

Like I said, I didn't even realize I felt that way until she showed me.

[mediumdrip]

Kurt...

You are amazing and you've been so strong. Please... please if you feel that way again, talk to me.

[showbizpanache]

Well-- That's what I'm trying to say, Blaine. I fought those thoughts. I overcame them. And now you need to do the same, or you'll--

You'll die.

[mediumdrip]

I'm not going to. I need to be here with you.

[showbizpanache]

Then fight, Blaine. Please.

[mediumdrip]

I am fighting though.

I've been fighting. I want to be better. I have for a while.

That doesn't stop me from feeling like crap.

[showbizpanache]

I know... Shh. I know.

[He moves to give Blaine another kiss on the cheek.] You're doing so well. I'm proud of you.

[mediumdrip]

Then why do I make you cry all of the time? [Blaine says, almost sounds like he's pouting a bit but only because he feels so miserable and this conversation is exhausting.]

[showbizpanache]

Blaine, the winds changing makes me cry. Trust me, it's not that hard of a thing to do.

[mediumdrip]

I still wasn't ever me making you cry before.

We used to be so good.

[showbizpanache]

That's not true. Remember the GAP attack? When you kissed Rachel? That night at Scandals? [He laughs a little, nostalgic.]

And of course I did plenty of things to upset you, as well. I bossed you around all the time, and I know there were plenty of things that drove you crazy-- Like snapping my fingers at wait staff. Or making you watch Real Housewives with me.

[mediumdrip]

Putting bronzer in my lotion...

[showbizpanache]

You don't like that? I think you look good with a bit of a tan...

[mediumdrip]

Maybe, but not on my hands...

[He coughs] None of that stuff matters. Not when I was doing drugs. Not now that I can't trust myself to live with you. I really, seriously hurt you.

[showbizpanache]

[Softly.] I hurt you too.

[mediumdrip]

Not like I did.

[showbizpanache]

But Blaine... Nothing is going to be gained if you keep beating yourself up over this. You'll just keep sinking-- Neither of us can undo the past, you know? We can only learn from it and move on.

[mediumdrip]

I want to...

[showbizpanache]

You really do? [Some part of him breathes out in relief.]

Well, we're almost there. Don't give up.

[mediumdrip]

Why... why did you forgive me?

[showbizpanache]

Because I love you. Silly.