003. [Video]

[doctor_mccoy]

[McCoy is sitting in the break room again, it's late and the lights are dimmed, probably to conserve power, but the soda machine is glowing somewhere behind him and his NV is casting it's own faint blue light from the screen he has open.   He looks tired, but that's far from unusual.  It's been a busy few weeks. He pulls a pen from between his teeth before he speaks, the poor thing looks half mauled already.] 
 
I'm starting to realized the lot of you still go out monster hunting despite any sort of common sense.  So before I ask anything, i'm going to state right now that it's still not something I approve of, but you're all big kids and can make your own decisions. 

That being said, I need a few favors.

Aside from the alarming amount of injuries and deaths that have been occurring due to 'natural' disasters, there's been a great deal of damage done to the proofing around here.  Which means the critters have been getting in... which means we get to deal with more surprise injuries at night.   And, disappointingly enough, we have little working knowledge on how to deal with certain poisons and venom these little bastards are chalked full of.   If either SERO or AGI have coined the market on treatments, they're not sharing.  Go figure.

To even begin to work on a proper treatment we need the actual poison to work with.  I'm sure you see where I'm going with this... 

[He frowns, scowls even, as a thought comes to him.]   And before you go holding out your hand, the only reward that comes with this is gratitude and me not chewing your ass out if...when a reckless night ends you up on my table.  Take it or leave it.

Comments

[doeswhathewants]

What about cookies? I should think such a heroically stupid sort of endeavor would at least merit sugar in reward.

[doctor_mccoy]

If the heroically stupid around here really think cookies are a suitable payment? Sure, why the hell not.

[The vending machine has oreos, probably, does that count?]

[doeswhathewants]

[Unacceptable! They must be handmade.]

It's traditional. Sort of.

[doctor_mccoy]

[does he look like Betty Crocker to you?]

Do I even want to ask?

[video]

[littlepwny]

How're we supposed to get the poison OUT of the monsters?

Uh, not that I'd ever get hurt! I'm too fast for those stupid things.

[video]

[doctor_mccoy]

[sorry give him a minute, you're a talking pony.]

. . .

Well, some of the critters are small enough that a whole one will do.

.. I imagine you'd need hands to gather it from anything larger.

[video]

[littlepwny]

Hey! I can do anything you hewmans can do! I don't need hands.

[video]

[doctor_mccoy]

Okay then. Snap.

Text.

[crowsicle]

man that offers so tempting its unbelievable
risk my swag ass tailfeathers all night for no pay whatsoever
at least where im from the enemies popped out free gushers and fake money like the worlds nastiest pinatas
or popped pimples
do you know what kinds of monsters youre looking for specifically or is it a case of youll know it when you get the bleeding severed head

[doctor_mccoy]

Hey I'm not twisting anybody's arm, that's what makes it a favor, not a bounty. If you don't get gratification for good deeds then go kill a puppy or something.

And yeah, I have a file put together with possible poisonous types i'm looking for. I'd hate to crowd my mail box with useless severed heads.

[crowsicle]

christ dont tempt me
i already had to help look after one of those fucking hellhounds for like a week
no wonder i turned to monster fighting its goddamn therapeutic after that particular whimsical adventure
send me the file dude i already do this for free

[doctor_mccoy]

Have fun.


File "shitihavetodealwith.pdf" sent

[video]

[universaljanitor]

If you're still looking for some help with poisons I'm pretty good at analyzing antidotes in a pinch.

[He grins, proudly] Sparkling cyanide survivor at your service!

[video]

[doctor_mccoy]

I'm more interested in antivenoms right now, but if you think you have an eye for this sort of thing, I could use the help, sure.

[video]

[universaljanitor]

Poison, venom, either way it's not something pleasant for most folks.

Definite eye for them, though. Pretty curious as to the general make-up of the creatures themselves, if you don't mind me doing a quick bio scan in between venom drains and analyses.

[He pulls out his sonic, then, wiggling it between his fingers] Faster than any machine, this. We'll be able to tell exactly what sort of toxins are swimming around in these things.

[video]

[doctor_mccoy]

After I get the samples I need you can go nuts.

[He arches a brow.] I have a trick of my own for that, but if your magic tire gauge can help us out, i'm all for it.

[whycantistay]

What do you need? I used to be the head of the science department for a prominent law firm. [Totally took down demon SARS.]

[doctor_mccoy]

Raw venom first, a lot of these nasty bastards are poisonous, even the weird little local critters. I can only go by what patients have told me as far as what sort of monsters are venomous and compiled a list from there.

It'll take awhile to antalize and categorize, at least until I can dig up any previous work that's been done. If you're familiar with lab work you'd be of more help, most of these other wack-jobs can kill a monster.

[whycantistay]

I can kill them, too. But if you want venom, I can get some.

[ video ]

[controllingluck]

You don’t approve but you’re acking people to do it anyhow? [a soft chuckle at that, her manner is a lot different then the angry girl from before] That’s a little backwards, but it makes sense.

I’m sure SERO actually has a lot of these samples in their labs. They’ve been working on Darkness and Darkness protection for a very long time. It’s too bad you can’t just gain their favor and get it first hand.

[ video ]

[doctor_mccoy]

I'd do it myself, but i'm not exactly equipped for fighting evil creatures. Bad back you know.

And I'm sure you're right, in fact I know you're right. But I'm not about to sign myself away to those bastards just yet... [not to say the offer isn't tempting]

[ video ]

[controllingluck]

You just have to get creative with how you fight them. Not that I’m much for going out and fighting them if I don’t have to, mind you.

As for SERO? that might be for the best to stay out of their clutches, but it is a good spring board, if you're careful. [Which isn’t something a Greeter should tell someone as she should be promoting them, but.... EH]

[video]

[surgicalshot]

You know who might have that stuff? Some of those bounty hunters, or... I think SERO would have something. Depending on who you work for.

[video]

[doctor_mccoy]

I try to make it a habit not to get myself involve with people that are more trouble than they're worth. Besides, I doubt SERO's just going to hand over their research.

[video]

[surgicalshot]

Well... no, but a scientist within SERO might? Without going through the proper channels? I've found that I can get a lot more done when I don't go through all of the channels at AGI. Nothing illegal, of course! Just...talking to a friend.