17 [Text]

[integrity]

Someone within this city is going to buy me a drink. Immediately. I prefer scotch, but really, anything will do. I also require a sledgehammer. Crowbars are also acceptable.

Your generosity will be repaid tenfold in both money, good will, and the feathers that I will be tearing out of my favorite down pillow. If you so choose to remain so, anonymous donations can be dropped off at my mailbox at the post office.

Remember: generosity is a virtue, not a sin.

x Crowley.

Comments

[integrity]

Both, on occassion, depending on the company.

[Hrm.]

Hunters of the supernatural, mostly.

I'm not one of them, so if you aren't human, you can relax.

[leading3men]

Oh.

[ Huh. Learn something new everyday. ]

You aren't human either?

[integrity]

A demon.

[It's said lightly.]

[leading3men]

[ At this point, nothing surprises her anymore. ]

Huh.

[ She has an expression of consideration, but then shrugs. Really, there are worse people she can shove alcohol off too. Like Joker. ]

Don't suppose you seen Hitler in Hell, did you?

[integrity]

Come on, demons are stupid, but they aren't that stupid. We sealed that deal ages ago. He was destined to come to Hell regardless of his crimes against humanity.

[Crowley shrugs slightly.]

How else do you think Hitler managed to get people to listen to him? Excellent oration doesn't just appear. And Mein Kampf was terribly written, no one was going to take him seriously without a bit of crossroads dealing and soul selling.

I own Dick Cheney, too, if that comforts you any.

[leading3men]

[ She's giving Crowley a strange expression, mostly disbelief and a little bit of disgust. ]

That . . . that explains everything. Including Dick Cheney.

[ And maybe this is maybe a bad idea to ask, but what the hell. No hurting in knowing. ]

It doesn't involve old crazy gypsy women involved? I've seen Drag Me to Hell.

[integrity]

[ -- he actually laughs, at that, though it's soft, and he mostly just grins.]

Drag Me To Hell is a terrible movie.

And no, there are no crazy gypsy women involved.

[leading3men]

What are you talking about, that movie was hilarious.

And that's good to know, since I get angry old women yelling at me weekly.

[integrity]

That movie was horrendously inaccurate. There is no dragging to Hell -- well, usually.

[The hounds can be a little rough.]

[leading3men]

Usually. [ She repeated the word dryly before shrugging. ]

Well, I'm mostly sure the Hell from my world had no room left, with the zombies and all.

[integrity]

My Hell is constantly expanding. Who's running yours?

[leading3men]

[ Kanye shrug! ]

Dunno. I honestly didn't believe that sort of thing existed.

[integrity]

[ -- hrm.]

Few do unless they're forced to encounter it.

[Not very many humans know the truth -- only the hunters, usually, and the victims.]

[leading3men]

Huh. And I always thought the Devil was just a metaphor.

[ Now that's a scary thought. ]

Though I doubt I'll be legible for Hell if I give a demon some drinks.

[ There are worse things she can do. ]

[integrity]

[ -- with a slight laugh.]

You won't be condemned for buying a demon a drink. In fact, that may very well save you. You never know -- favors are good things to have.

[leading3men]

I'll keep that in mind if God feels like condemning me.

[ She fished through the bag, and pulled out two thin, small sheets of paper. ]

Here's the receipts for the drinks.