sirenspull | 17 [Text]

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17 [Text]

Someone within this city is going to buy me a drink. Immediately. I prefer scotch, but really, anything will do. I also require a sledgehammer. Crowbars are also acceptable.

Your generosity will be repaid tenfold in both money, good will, and the feathers that I will be tearing out of my favorite down pillow. If you so choose to remain so, anonymous donations can be dropped off at my mailbox at the post office.

Remember: generosity is a virtue, not a sin.

x Crowley.

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[He pauses, at that, before he steps around. He hadn't bothered to move, once trapped, because there is normally little point. And Castiel putting in a way to get out of it eases his anger, slightly, but not by much.]

Don't trap me in a Devil's Trap again.

[It's said a bit sharply. But he seems to let it go easily after that -- and once he gets out of the trap, he holds out his hand, eyes narrowed.]

Give me my credit cards. And my liquor.

And my clothes.

[Castiel waves a hand and all the rugs he's trapped roll up and lean against the wall, so that Crowley won't accidentally get caught in them. Similarly to the one he had been in, they all had different methods of getting out of them.

He doesn't respond to the first comment, but he does make mental note not to do it again. At the orders, though, Castiel just looks at the demon.]

No.

[You're stuck like a peasant until he decides to have mercy.]

[He is about to respond when he takes the time to look at... all of the rugs against the wall. All of which have been inscribed with Devil's Traps.]

You ruined my carpets?

[h. d. u.]

Of course I did.

[Duh, Crowley. Screw your carpets anyway they're made for walking on. Besides, just draw a line through the traps on the bottom and you can still use them; no one'll know.]

Do you have any idea how much those are --

[fgkhjfgjkhfjkh he can't even begin to even.]

I loathe your entire existence, have I ever told you that?

Yes. Several times.

I have yet to care any more than the last.

[He is just going to remove a small peeping blue chick from the pocket of his coat. 8|]

Give me my cards.

[Look at him tighten his hand around the chick -- !

-- not that he would ever crush the thing, it's still comfortable. 8|]

[HEY you dick. Castiel scowls and pulls the credit cards from his pocket, holding them out with one hand and the other hand open to receive the chick in return.

Of course, the cards have all had holds placed on them, now that he's going to inform the demon of such. he'll figure it out when he tries to use them.]

[He takes the cards first, to ensure that they are still in one piece and his own cards, before he drops the chick in his hand unceremoniously.]

Good to know we can still be reasonable.

You are building that damn thing a coop outside, it isn't staying in here anymore.

[The chick peeps up a storm in Cas's hand before he deposits it gently into his coat pocket, where it immediately decides upon a nap.

Castiel gives Crowley a puzzled look.]

Why?

Because it's an animal and animals sleep outside.

So are the hellhounds.

[Pause.]

And humans.

There are no humans living within this house save for the dead bodies we are currently using as hosts and my dog is a useful contributing member of this household, unlike that McChicken which does nothing but eat the plants.

You were human. I question the designation of species difference between humans and demons at times.

[But anyway.]

Regardless, the point is that humans live inside houses, not that there are specifically any humans doing so here.

[omg Cas can you get any more frustrating.]

Castiel.

This is my house.

Get the chicken out of it before I beat it to death with a hammer.

[G l a r e. But eventually he gives in.]

It would probably like the air and the sunlight.

[And it could have even more room. There's plenty of backyard.]

Yes. It would.

[Huffily, as he shoves his hands into his coat.]

It's a fucking chicken.

[Srsly. >:(]

[You're such a dick stop being mean to the bb chicken.]

Fine.

[And he gives Crowley a look.]

I will be out tonight and will return tomorrow.

[He's gonna hang out somewhere; maybe at his brother's bar. Mostly because there's still parts of Castiel's revenge for Crowley to notice, like the cards he's just returned.]

Edited 2012-04-12 05:50 (UTC)

[Because it's a fucking chicken, who cares, ok.

But Crowley lets it go, only rolling his eyes, and he waves a hand dismissively.]

Fine, whatever.

Go away, I don't want to see your face anyway.

Nor I yours.

[Mostly because one Crowley figures out the next layer of revenge, Castiel wants to be far away. So he's gone in a flutter of wings a moment later.]

What in the fuck did you do to my bank accounts?

[Have text this time mostly so as to not give away his location immediately.]

You seem to be having a multitude of issues today.

The clothing, hilarious, really, truly. The liquor, aggravating, I could kill you for that. The Devil's Traps, you had best hope Jimmy Novak is officially dead, otherwise he will feel the snapping of your fingers when I eventually get around to it. But this will invoke every inch of rage I continually suppress at your continued existence.

If you froze my bank accounts and cancelled my credit cards, I am going to ship you to Guatamala, where you will know no other life than making sweaters for Kathy Gifford's corporate empire and giving fifty year old white men oral sex because their wives won't do it for them. You will be their bitch for the rest of eternity and no amount of crying to Daddy is going to save you from the screaming cries of pleasure of Dick Cheney.

Do you understand me? I am going to end you.

[Well, this has definitely gone better than he'd been expecting to pull this off.]

I couldn't reach Guatemala if I desired to go there. We cannot leave this island in Canada.

[In other words, NOT SCARED OF YOU.]

However, I advise you to remember this next time you attempt to entertain yourself at my expense.

aslkjhgajskhajkshgjsidgksjdhgs

[No, that is the only thing he can manage.]

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