sirenspull | 17 [Text]

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17 [Text]

Someone within this city is going to buy me a drink. Immediately. I prefer scotch, but really, anything will do. I also require a sledgehammer. Crowbars are also acceptable.

Your generosity will be repaid tenfold in both money, good will, and the feathers that I will be tearing out of my favorite down pillow. If you so choose to remain so, anonymous donations can be dropped off at my mailbox at the post office.

Remember: generosity is a virtue, not a sin.

x Crowley.

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Are you sure you don't want a silver hammer, instead of a crowbar? Just change your name to Maxwell and you'll be set.

And who, me? I have no idea what happened to you, I simply can't imagine what's gotten you into such a bad mood. Did your favorite suit stain or something?

Hilarious. Really.

Don't play stupid with me. Castiel isn't smart enough to come up with this on his own.

Is that so? Did no one tell you to beware the dumb ones? They're a lot more unexpected than you give them credit for.

Besides, how do you know this wasn't some spur of the moment thing he did to get back at you for the attack of the glittery strippers he suffered a while ago? People do crazy things when they want revenge.

Castiel's spur of the moment decisions involve listening to the voices in his head instead of me.

This requires thought and effort, not blatant stupidity.

I know him far better than you do, idiot, so you may as well just fess up now.

Ooh, what's next, are you going to tell me the meaning of his dreams and psychoanalyze his actions towards women next? I had no idea you were a budding psychiatrist, this is going to be good.

If you have proof that I did it, I mean. So far, your accusations are entirely based on the fact that I get under your skin more often than not. So, you fess up the details of why you think yours truly is involved in whatever heinous crime that has been committed against you, and I'll see if it holds water or not.

[YOU ARE THE MOST FUCKING FRUSTRATING AND ANNOYING PERSON HE HAS EVER MET AND HE GREW UP WITH MEG.]

Edited 2012-04-12 04:42 (UTC)

You really don't want me to include you in my revenge, duckie.

Confess and you'll be spared.

[DON'T MIND HIM, HE'LL JUST SIT HERE AND GRIN LIKE THE MASTER TROLL HE IS ahhh the smell of frustration in the morning, nothing like it!]

Why, is that the sound of "not having a shred of evidence to blame the accused with"? I think it is!

Really, and here I was thinking I should come over and help you out of your sad predicament. But with that, I've rather changed my mind.

Unless, maybe, you do something to convince me otherwise instead of having a temper tantrum like a toddler.

How do you know that I'm in a predicament at all?

[THE ONLY WAY YOU WOULD KNOW HE WAS STUCK IS IF YOU HELPED, YOU PIECE OF SHIT. >:(]

Because people usually don't go asking for alcohol and things to bash people's heads in if they aren't in some sort of predicament.

Unless you have some kind of strange fetish for that sort of thing, but chances are, you're upset over something that's happened to you and you need the help of others for once. It's perfectly logical.

Darling, I drink and bash people's heads in as part of my daily routine. But besides the point -- I have had a fantastically abysmal day.

And trust me, once I discover what you had to do with this, I am going to make your life miserable.

Funny, haven't seen or heard much of this daily routine of bashing people's heads, just a lot of griping and complaining.

As if you don't make it miserable enough already. Continue throwing threats at me, I'm going to start to rate them on how well they send shivers down my spine in terror. The last one was a big fat 0. Try again, perhaps you'll get a 1 if you're very lucky.

I have had over forty thousand years experience in making people cry, darling.

Give me time.

[And when you get home, all of your plants will be gone. 8|]

Edited 2012-04-12 05:41 (UTC)

You say that as if I even have the ability to cry.

Alright, take your time. When will your meaningless revenge take place, in a year?

[OH NO YOU DON'T, CROWLEY. >BI But to be fair, he would probably be more upset if you started encouraging them and actually caring for them, therefore ruining his regimen of growing them forever. It'll be quite annoying, but he can replace the ones that are missing and start from scratch.]

[But either way DON'T YOU DARE. DB<]

Why on Earth would I tell you?

[HE IS GOING TO BURN THEM AT THE STAKE.]

I don't know, because you feel like it? You broadcasted to everyone complaining loudly about how much your life sucks at the moment, I'd think that tendency would carry over to other subjects in your life just as easily.

[YOU ARE A MONSTER, CROWLEY. And if you mentioned this he would actually confess to it because darn it, leave his plants alone.]

I think I'll keep it to myself, for now.

Enjoy your present when you return home.

[HE WILL NEVER GIVE YOU AN OUNCE OF MERCY.]

[He'll just frown at the "present" part and not answer, because now he's going to be staying away from the mansion for a while until all of this blows over.]

[But when he finally gets home and finds out what happens to plants, Crowley, all the tables will be flipped. All of them. >BI ]

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