sirenspull | 001 [Video]: Oh, Canada.

[The NV turns on, showing a very sleek-looking dark-haired man with sharp cheekbones and sunglasses smirking at the camera. Even over the NV, one can tell that this is a person who knows he's better than everyone else around him- there is no uncertainty in his features, just full-on arrogance. When he finally speaks, his English accent is so smooth one can practically roll a carpet on it.]

Well, let's see here. You know, I've been going through this thing's previous posts and such, and wow, all the entries from people who have just arrived really share a lot in common. You'd think that there's some kind of checklist that we have to get through once we arrive. Like, number one, you must certainly, without a doubt, ask "where am I?" or "what is going on?" or "why have I been dragged across time and space itself to the wretched wannabe of a place that is Canada?" Because finding out things by asking people who might lie to your face instead of quietly gathering information by your lonesome is clearly the way to go.

[A pause as he lets that sink in.]

Second, you must ask where your friends or family or dog or beloved garden gnome is in this place. Which, most of the time, results in nothing but statements like "No, I haven't seen your gnome" to "Oh, yes, your gnome was here before, but I'm not sure where he's gone off to now, sorry about that".So why bother asking? No, I'm going to skip that part entirely- I've already checked the NV for the people I know and they're not here, so, just look at all the time I saved.

Third, you may either a), mention that you "can't stay here because you have something important to go back to" or b), basically give your whole life story to people because you can. I'm not doing the first option because, frankly, I'd rather not repeat the Apocalypse all over again, thank you, and I'm not doing the second one because, honestly, I'd rather keep all of you in the dark. Why in the world should I reveal who I am or what I do without knowing exactly who lives in this place?

[He grins widely.]

What I can tell you is that the name's Crowley. [He pronounces it like it rhymes with "holy".] Anthony J. Crowley. And I do not need your pats on the back or your offers to be my best friend ever or your little cheerful fake welcomes. All I need is information about the darkness at night and how this city works and other such things.

Do be nice and provide it to me. I'm sure a few of you have the collective brain to do so.

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[An amused shrug.]

Well, of course there's that, but is there anything else I need to know besides that? Any places that are important, locales where the right kind of people gather?That sort of thing.

[A pause, and then he lets out a snicker. He can't help it, the mental image is just amazing.]

...Those three things were probably the last things I could have used to describe the guy.

So, he's not anything like I remember, is he?

I did in some respects. Never talked to her, but I was in the Garden when she was still there.

Why are you so interested in her, anyways?

I knew her very well.

Obviously you didn't.

[Hrm. The difference is interesting, anyway.]

I guess we do. Just think of it this way- I come from the same stock as you guys do. But I'm not longer like you, not really.

[It does sting a bit, honestly, knowing that angels remain angels when they fall from where Castiel comes from. He lets out a slight "tch" at his next question.]

A bit, yes. Because while I understand Upstairs is all about making everyone happy, peace on Earth forever more, yada yada yada...the Apocalypse isn't exactly something they're trying to stop from happening. No, they see it as an event that is going to occur without anything to stop it, and all they want in the whole thing is to win. The Apocalypse isn't something on their list to get rid of, it might as well be written in their calendars with a permanent marker and a big red circle to showcase how certain they believe it's going to happen.

[Talking about his Fall, however, sets Crowley on edge. He never really talked about it, not even with Aziraphale. But then again, Aziraphale had never Fell...]

Because...because it's complicated, alright? [He makes an annoyed sound that sounds more like a hiss than anything. What could he say? That he just hung out with the wrong people? That he hadn't meant to Fall? The words sounded pathetic in his head.] And yes, technically speaking, it was before the Earth was finally fleshed out. Back home, there had been disagreements Upstairs about what to do with things, and well, what happened, happened.

Got chummy with her after the whole incident with Adam? Figures.

But yes, I was only given the orders when Eve popped out, so sorry that we don't share a mutual friend between us.

Nope, not even a little.

Plus, you know- he's not really your Gabriel. Technically you don't remember him.

She was one of the demons that pulled me out of the pits of Hell, actually.

[Mildly. Indifferent.

A slight warning that Crowley will find a way to remove your eyes if you don't tread carefully.]

My human life began far after the fall of humanity.

Uhhh.

...No? He's God, AJ. Pretty sure he can do whatever the hell he wants.

[ Oh, great. Now he's going to enlighten the shit out of you Crowley. ]

If I want something I just make it happen, but then gettin' it is just as important as having it. That's what makes me me: there's nothing I could possibly desire that I can't make happen on my own. [ Shrugging casually while somehow ramping the arrogance up to 11. ] Sometimes it takes time, but it never fails. Because of that I used to get told I was blessed by God. [ A derisive snort. ] I gotta tell you, it was kinda insulting.

Except where America thinks it trumps everywhere else, so good luck selling that argument.

Well, it is Canada. I always liked the place, actually, but I think I'm one of the only ones! [She laughs at her own joke, leaning against the bar.]

Oh, well, it's a short story. A few months back, the owner decided she didn't want it anymore, so I said I'd help out. At the same time, the person in charge of bounty hunting gave up her spot, so both me and a friend helped her out, too. So, now we're in charge of Mugshots, and the bounty hunting business!

It entirely depends on what you're looking for. Or who you would consider the right people. But there are several clubs and company-affiliated places of businesses.

Yes, but wouldn't things just fall apart at the seams? Or, let me guess, they already did.

Because, I mean, it's kind of like Atlas walking off to take a break from holding up the world, you don't just do that.

Oh, America and its ego farming. They've grown egos that have surpassed the size of Big Ben over there, it's unbelievable, really.

Alright, alright, obviously you're the expert on all Him-related matters, I get it.

[He shakes his head, wishing he hadn't gotten into this sort of thing because now his brain slightly hurts as he tries to sort this out.]

So, Elaine, huh? So, what can you do here? If this is a "foreign Creation", as you say, can you still influence things in it?

The Yahweh I know at least. There could be others. It's a common name for Creators. Sort of like Bob or Jane are for people.

[Creators are people too, Crowley.]

If this was a stable Creation, there wouldn't be a problem. Imagine what will happen if you dropped a heavy bowling ball on thin ice? The thin ice is this place. There are things I would pass to do.

I can't argue with that. I've seen some personally.

Nothing is unexplainable. Science and mathematics can explain all phenomenon.

I don't use weapons myself, but there are plenty others here who do. They could give a better answer, I'm sure.

Apocalypse kinda nowish is happening, but that's an angel dysfunction brought on by finding out the answer to the eternal question of 'where is your God now,' and not so much the actual godlessness.

So, basically... Yeah, He can. Because He's God. He's allowed to be as much of a dick as he wants.

Not exactly how it works, no. In every generation, a Slayer is born. Just one. Or, used to be that way. Was when I started. The rules're kinda different now? But that's how it was. And the Slayer's the one girl in all the world with the strength and skill to pretty much keep the world safe and save it from demons and vampires and all kindsa other big nasty baddies.

Sure, a shitload of times. Core keeps us here pretty tight. What REALLY pisses me off is nobody fights the companies proper. They try all this...subterfuge shit and it hasn't done fuckall.

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