Video...in which there is an abundance of scones

[inthejunk]

[Dawn is barely even trying to tickle the sky awake, but that doesn't seem to be squashing the enthusiasm of that annoying kid who either delivers or abuses pastries for a living -it's difficult to tell at times. There he is, with the usual shit eating customer service grin, hair rustling in the chilly breeze and full of fat, half-melted snowflakes. They don't seem to be bothering him at all.]

Attention, everyone. I'm Hanamura Yosuke. Hello to anyone who is new. There's good news this morning! Due to the weather, the scones from yesterday couldn't be sold at the Funtom bakery. I've had to come up with ways to use them, so I thought I would share.

[It's probably not a good idea to leave a somewhat resentful teenager to his own devices in a place of business. Or so one would believe, given what follows.]

If you grind them up like cat litter, they unstick snow-stuck cars. They can also be used as paper weights, and nut crackers. Some of the children on the playground have used them for stick ball! Really, the uses are endless. So please take them away before someone tries to eat one and breaks a tooth again.

[That slightly sarcastic and generally mean spirited bit of "advertisement" aside, the kid suddenly grows serious.]

Ah...there is one more use for them that I came up with. Since I didn't have anyone to ask for a blessing, I think the direct route will have to do.

[And there, behind him in the snow as he turns and pans the camera out, is one last (and equally unfirtunate) demonstration. There's something written out, huge and painstakingly, all in blueberry scone. There's even a heart made of sprinkled dried cranberry around it, which has bloomed up like rose petals with the moisture of the snow:]

MARRY ME NILL

Comments

[kissthegrell]

You said you weren't interesting.

[inthejunk]

...It's a special occasion.

[kissthegrell]

Yes indeed, it seems so. Married? How romantic.

[inthejunk]

It would have been if it worked.

[kissthegrell]

It didn't? How tragic. A sad, unrequited love story... how terrible for you...

[Yes his expression is almost gleeful]

[inthejunk]

Shut up, it's not like that. She does love me. She's just...thinking...

[kissthegrell]

People in love don't need to think. In fact, love seems to stop thinking cold in most people. Don't you think?

[inthejunk]

I thought that too but it's wrong, according to everyone else.

[kissthegrell]

Don't you think everyone else is just trying to soothe your feelings and placate you, by saying things that aren't really real?

Everyone knows that when you're in love, you don't need to think about it.

[inthejunk]

No one ever tries to soothe my feelings. They're saying I'm stupid and selfish, are you deaf?

[kissthegrell]

Ah Ah, now now be nice. I'm just trying to get to the truth of the matter... the truth that you're not loved and tragically single. What are you going to do now... hummm?

So public too. Why isn't it just devastating.

[inthejunk]

Publicly single maybe, but you're wrong about the rest. I guess this fits your definition of fun, though. Maybe I shouldn't be surprised.

[kissthegrell]

I'm just full of surprises. But that brings me back to your tragic pubic rejection. How sad it must be. Come, why don't you visit and I'll comfort you.

[inthejunk]

I'd rather just stick my head in the oven, thanks.