001: Video

[tryingitall]

[The first images that appear are fuzzy close-ups of a hand. Calloused, tan fingers, a grass-stained palm, and—ah! He’s been covering up the lens accidentally. Balthazar has never had occasion to use one of these things before, and, already uncomfortable and disoriented, he’s a little slow to learn. Oops.] Oh. There I am. Do I look that bad? Eurgh.

[He does, in fact, look ill; eyes shadowed, skin pale and clammy.] I’ve decided I don’t enjoy pain, except in very small, controlled doses.

[There’s a long pause, during which Balthazar looks like he’s trying to construct a speech, or maybe just keep from throwing up. Or both. He may not be dealing with the shock of arrival very well. In any case, he gives up on profound observations quickly.] However, I do enjoy alcohol, in large, uncontrolled doses.

[His smile is wan.] No, I’m not asking. I don’t take candy from strangers.

[Another pause, with him staring elsewhere, frowning mildly. The questions he really wants answers to--what the hell happened? why am I here? what do I do now?--don't seem to have simple answers. And the question 'who else is out there?' may have answers he doesn't like.]

…So, are there games on this thing? [Beep-boop-boop. Hello, button mashing.]

Comments

[ofthursday]

[He's entirely happy to dance around the subject, he just has to know which subject he's dancing around; whether Balthazar knows his fate, or if it's still ambiguous.

He's not entirely sure, at that response, but he thinks it might be the latter.

He just nods, though, at the answer, and lets the subject drop. There are more pressing things to focus on at the moment, after all.]

There are many from our world here, including Raphael.

[tryingitall]

[Well, if Cas isn't going to fess up, neither is Balthazar. But it doesn't feel right.

Then again, what does?]

Raphael. Brilliant. Who else? Are you in danger? [He folds his arms and paces slowly. The room they're in appears to be one of the starter apartments, and clearly Balthazar hasn't been in it long enough to clutter it up.] Am I?

[ofthursday]

[Talking is awkward, not talking is awkward. Life is awkward, Castiel often finds.]

Not at the moment. No more than usual, at least.

[He's pretty sure Raphael is somewhat murderous about the entire Leviathan thing, but considering everything else going on, he hasn't come after him yet. That's encouraging. And Raphael from the time he's from has no interest in Balthazar, Castiel is pretty sure.]

Anna just arrived; Gabriel is also here. The Winchesters, their parents, Jo Harvelle, the cambion Jesse, Eve, and the demons Crowley and Meg are all present as well.

[And there's the big one, and Castiel pauses for a moment before continuing.]

And our Father.

[tryingitall]

[It's a struggle to keep a calm expression as he listens. Anna? Gabriel? Siblings he thought were lost forever, living again? Or...never yet dead, perhaps. His pacing picks up in intensity.

Naturally, the Winchesters would be here. No escaping that. Some of the other names he doesn't recognize, but when Cas gets to 'our Father', Balthazar actually staggers, turns, and has to sit.]

That's not funny, Cas. [It takes him a split second to realize Castiel wouldn't joke about Father. Nor does he tell many jokes.]

How is that possible?

[ofthursday]

[Castiel watches him pace and then sit down, and moves a little closer to him on reflex but decides not to reach out. He does settle down next to him, though, because he knows how Balthazar feels considering he felt the same way.]

It just is. It is really Him; He will want to speak with you.

[A small pause, again, and he knows it probably won't be reassuring, but...]

He is not particularly intimidating. I have known Him for years without realizing who He was.

[tryingitall]

[He doesn't know how to feel. That's the problem. And he looks, for the moment, more bewildered than anything else.] So, what, He's been stuck here all this time? That doesn't--

[A pause. He listens, shakes his head, unable to wrap his mind around it. Then something else Castiel said sinks in.] Why would He want to talk to me?

[There might just be a note of panic in his voice, there. A tiny one.]

[ofthursday]

He has been. Other gods, as well, from other worlds.

[His voice softens a bit more.]

Because He has been speaking to all of us, after He revealed Himself. He wants to get to know us, He has said.

[Castiel is sure that will apply to Balthazar, as well.]

[tryingitall]

I left. [It's blurted out without a second thought, and as soon as the words are out of his mouth, Balthazar wonders why he said them. Because it's not like he was the first one to walk out. A couple months ago he would have been ready to point that out.

Now he really does want a drink. Not that it would make any difference.]

He made us. What more is there to know? [He takes a deep breath, struggling to recover.] I mean...sure. Why not? Who am I to say no, right? I just don't understand.

[ofthursday]

So did I; so did Gabriel, and Anna.

[Castiel has a supply of the super strength alcohol that can get even them drunk, and he's thinking along similar lines of that breaking it out might be warranted.]

You can refuse if you desire. It is your choice. This place is not our own world.

[tryingitall]

[This is all pretty unfair. There sits Castiel, being all reassuring and big-brotherly, robbing him of the chance to be angry at him. While telling him that God would really just like to get to know them, making it sound like some kind of family...bond...thing....instead of the fractured reality he's actually started to accept.

He really wants to lash out, verbally, physically, because things don't work this way. They just don't.

Instead, he laughs, like he's thinking of some private joke, instead of buying time.] There's that free will thing again, hm? Well, I won't refuse, but I'd rather cross the bridge when I come to it.

[ofthursday]

That is fair enough.

[Castiel has latched onto the small comforts he can find, and it's difficult to judge others after what he's done, so he's sort of just accepted what happened with their Father. It's weird and awkward, but it could be so much worse.

But it's clear Balthazar needs time to think about it, so Castiel just continues right on at his attempts at being big brotherly, if not a particularly good role model.]

I have access to some very strong alcohol.

[tryingitall]

[The smile stays in place, but there's no real indication he's smiling at anything now. Not even the offer of a drink.]

You know, I don't think I have much appetite for it all of a sudden. Rain check?

[Another deep breath, and he reaches up to rub his face with both hands.] Where are you living now, anyway? Not in this building.

[ofthursday]

Of course.

[Though if Balthazar doesn't want alcohol, it's a clear sign even to Castiel that something's seriously wrong. The only issue is that there are several somethings that it could be.

He's quiet at the question for a few seconds, because the answer is slightly awkward and he's not at all sure how Balthazar will take it. So he goes with the truth, just slightly understated.]

With a friend from our world. I've stayed in several places over time, however.

[tryingitall]

[It's several somethings at once, really, but not the least of them is the concern that the hangover might hit harder than he's used to. He still feels sore.

Castiel's hesitation to answer is not reassuring. Balthazar gives him a slight frown, but he's feeling too dazed to probe too deeply.] I...could use advice. I may not be in a fit state to think it over right now, but you will keep in touch?

[ofthursday]

Of course.

[The answer is immediately; whatever Balthazar needs him for, now or in the future, he'll be there.]

You can contact me either the normal way, or through these devices.

[Castiel's no fan of angel radio, but if Balthazar prefers it he'll respond.]

[tryingitall]

These devices...there seems to be a function for filtering signals, correct? It might be safer to stick to them.

[What with all the other angels around, and all.

He looks at Castiel, struggling to read him. He thought he knew him so well, but lately he's lost that confidence. Even at that rate, the familiarity is reassuring.] I'm glad to see you, Cas. Even under these circumstances.

[He pats him on the shoulder, a little heavily, and sighs.]

[ofthursday]

There is.

[He's surprised by Balthazar patting his shoulder, not that the gesture itself is all that strange, but just that he would do so after what happened; or what Balthazar surely knew would happen.

When he responds, he means for his voice to be even, but it wavers just barely.]

I am glad to see you too.

[He never thought he would again, after all.]

[tryingitall]

[He wants to be angry. He probably should be angry. For the moment, it seems like it takes too much energy. He gives a bittersweet smile at the quiver in Castiel's voice.]

I admit, I have some regrets. But we can ignore the proverbial elephant in the room for now. I'd prefer it that way.

But don't be a stranger.

[ofthursday]

We can do that.

[He's quite content ignoring it, if Balthazar is. Maybe they can fake some sort of semblance of normalcy between them, at least, while they have the opportunity to actually do so without war or everything else hanging over them.]

I won't. Don't hesitate to contact me if necessary.

[And with a small nod of farewell he disappears, to let Balthazar have some time and space to get settled in.]

[tryingitall]

[The whole thing leaves him feeling shaky, but tentatively hopeful. After Castiel departs, he smiles faintly at nothing in particular, and returns to his NV once more. It's got to have at least solitaire, right?]