[ video ]

[hostage]

[The video's shaky when Jesse starts transmitting. He's at the baseball diamond and it's the middle of winter and he's shivering, dressed for a New Mexico summer in a hoodie that's barely thicker than the t-shirt he's wearing underneath it.]

I'm here.

[He's saying that to the NV, but his attention is away from the camera, directed to the road.]

Where's a goddamn taxi...

[He stops walking for a second and raises the NV so he can talk to it properly.]

I'm here. I'm okay. How long's it been? What year is it?

Comments

[hostage]

[He almost doesn't hear her. His brain had already filled in her response. When it does register, he raises his eyes to her in confusion. "Come home safe"?

He reaches over and puts the car into park. If he goes where he's going, there's no coming home safe. A barrel of acid. That's where he ends up. And, honestly, he isn't in a hurry to get there.]

I thought...

[hejhej]

You're right, we're not the same. If we were, I couldn't live with you because I can't imagine what it's like to live with someone like me.

[She looks down at the ground briefly.]

What you said in there is a whole different story, but I don't care about it. I don't know what your home is like to make you do those things. But you don't know what my home was like that makes me the way I am.

Yet you stayed.

[It's the most she's ever said in one go about anything. She can feel her ears get hot and turn red with embarrassment.]

[hostage]

[He's still confused, but he opens the door and climbs out of the car so he can face her properly. Part of him hopes that he's understanding her right. And then there's the other part, ever-present, that's telling him he doesn't deserve the sympathy.]

I love you.

[He means that. He says it with regret, though, like it's a death sentence.]

[hejhej]

I love you too.

[He really was all that she had here, but she felt that if she said it aloud, he would leave. What she was thinking was clingy, wasn't it?]

[hostage]

[He takes a step forward, stops, and looks back at the car. A moment passes while he looks torn between two directions. Then he takes another step and reaches for Lisbeth, to gather her into his arms.]

[hejhej]

[Lisbeth watches him quietly as he looks back at the car. She's keeping him from something. She opens her mouth to tell him to go, but he's soon wrapping his arms around her. Lisbeth returns the gesture, gripping him tightly.]

[hostage]

[He shuts his eyes and buries his face in her hair, holding her just like that, in no hurry to go. He whispers something that sounds like:]

I don't wanna lose you.

[hejhej]

[She feels the pang of her heart and it's deep. Someone wanted her. Lisbeth couldn't remember the last time she'd felt that, if she ever did. She grips Jesse even tighter.]

I don't think you can.

[hostage]

I'm gonna hurt you. You know that, right? The shit I'm in... The kind of person I am...

[hejhej]

[She usually has something to say, something to fall back on, but she isn't sure what to say to that. It wasn't in the cards that Jesse would hurt her because he wanted to - it was in the cards because that's how her whole life usually played out.

Instead, she hugs him tighter.]