sirenspull | video.

[The video is moving, when it comes on; it's being set aside. It blurs past legs (and torn stockings, a sock slid down a calf, and raspberried bruises), the owner of which seems to be sitting on a curb. When it's settled, it's clear the NV's been nestled in grass, so there are a couple of blades poking into view. But across the way is what's important: a family of small ducks waddling round a fountain. People are walking all around - you can hear them, their chatters and leather toe taps - and children are pulled away from the birds' paths by the quick hands of their mothers. Not many people are leisurely.

Alois' voice is, though, when he speaks.]

Someone from home, come and fetch me, will you? Bring handkerchiefs, and I want to stop for an ice cream come before we go back.

[There's a great sniff, which sounds a little gruesome. In the camera's peripheral, his foot shifts.]

Here is what I learned today, for those who might be none the wiser. I don't think the concept of defending anyone or anything is really real. I think, when it comes down to it, we see something we don't like so we get pissed off.

It's the truth, but it sounds a lot less pure than saying you're defending justice or friends or your good causes, huh?

[He laughs, too, the sound a little biting. A spray of shredded lettuce leaves arches over the camera, and flutters down a little ways a way. Some ducks start to talk and come clamoring for it. Alois shuts off his NV.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It might be because we get mad . . . but what if the reason you got mad is because something was threatened?

Right, but trying to justify it by saying, 'I just wanted to protect her!' - it's stupid. People don't like admitting they're fucking angry.

[No, they don't. Gohan doesn't like that, either. He admits it, but he doesn't like it.] It doesn't justify everything, no. But sometimes protecting really is their intent and that's how it comes out.

Even then, it's emotionally selfish, isn't it? It's something you do because of something you want, or something you don't like, right? It's something you do to make yourself more comfortable.

... You really think people are nothing but selfish, don't you?

It's only bad when you pretend you're not.

Or maybe people just don't see it the same way you do. And that's not pretending.

Or maybe I'm not naïve. 'Selfish' has such terrible connotations as a concept, but that's stupid. Selfishness is how people survive.

Even if it's naivety, that's not pretending. "Selfish" implies doing things for your own benefit at the expense of others.

And some people will die for other people. Is that selfish too, if it gets them killed?

Watching someone die is sad, [he sighs.] Some people would rather die themselves than experience that sadness.

Or maybe they didn't want that person to suffer through death and take it so that person doesn't have to. [His tone had been pretty even before, but there's a sadness to his voice. Like he's seen people die. And he has.] Though I suppose you'd call that selfish, too, huh?

Not a bad sort of selfish.

[Beat.]

Better selfishness than apathy. Some would say.

I still wouldn't call it selfish at all. But I think we just see things differently.

... Feeling something always has to be better than feeling nothing. [As freaked out as he is about how he'd handled Cell, he'd be even more so if he had done it with apathy rather than glee. What would that make you, when you lost the capacity to feel at all?]

Better to have loved than lost, and all that? Ha. [It's dry, and maybe the slightest bit patronizing.]

[You know, most people would probably be offended at being patronized like that. Gohan isn't one of them. He's heard worse than this from Vegeta. There's no annoyance, no defensiveness in his voice.]

I'd rather be a person than a robot, honestly.

Having feelings doesn't make you a person. And not having feelings doesn't mean you're not a person.

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