001 - In which Howl is Pulled from Elsewhere

[likepaleglass]

[A man’s voice, louder than it should be.]

Sophie! SOPHIE.

[A man flickers into view on camera. He’s decidedly handsome, well-groomed and dressed, a blue jewel hanging from one ear. One might almost be able to smell a whiff of hyacinth perfume. For a moment he turns the NV over and around in his hands until the viewer just gets a jumble of him – flashes of hair and hands and eyes that are strangely pale, green, reflective like glass. Finally the window comes to rest on him again, and he is glaring.]

Never hire a cleaning lady. If they come nosing their way into your life, boot them out the door, as you value your sanity.

[Hard to say if he knows he’s talking to you. In all honesty, it probably doesn’t matter. He pushes the hair back from his face, handsomely perturbed.]

All right, since there seems to be no immediate way back: I’ll need the nearest junkyard. Preferably magical. Non-magical will do in a pinch, though I’ll have to recreate my notes.

Also: A book of poetry. Promptly.

Comments

[likepaleglass]

Of course there's a difference. "Servant" would imply I had a choice in her. Cleaning lady . . . she's an incredibly nosy old woman who wandered into my castle, insisted on staying . . .

And cleans everything.

[princeofpictionary]

That is her job though, right? Why are you getting mad at your cleaning lady for doing what she is supposed to do?

[likepaleglass]

What she chose to do.

And every time she does, something goes awry or missing.

Last time she cleaned my bathroom, my hair ended up almost pink.

Ginger.

[princeofpictionary]

That sounds like it would look nice.

[ Says the prince with purple hair. ]

[likepaleglass]

[What. You did not just say that.]

It was a travesty! My hair was ruined.

Ruined.

[princeofpictionary]

What does it matter? It's not pink anymore and it looks perfectly fine.

[likepaleglass]

[Where did you come from, you stranger, that you do not understand the travesty that is ruined hair?]

My point is that this woman booby-traps everything she cleans.

And now she has done something to my door.

[princeofpictionary]

[ Perhaps this stranger has never experienced a bad hair day. ]

You should pay more attention, then. You know she traps things, so they shouldn't surprise you.

[likepaleglass]

[Remind him to inflict a severe case of bedhead on you. Or hat hair. Either will do.]

[Howl makes a noise that sounds rather like "tch!" dismissing the other with a wave of long sleeve.]

Simpler to have her stop touching things.

[princeofpictionary]

Enjoy a messy house then!

[likepaleglass]

I do.

[princeofpictionary]

Then why did you have a cleaning lady, to begin with?

[likepaleglass]

I told you, she wandered into my castle and insisted on staying.

And cleaning.