sirenspull | video! and many pies were lost that day...

['Sup Portians? It's that familiar up the nostrils shot while Yosuke squits down at the NV to make sure that it's on. Yep, cool. Recording. 'Cause you guys definitely don't want to miss this. It's super cool.]

Hi everyone. My name is Hanamura Yosuke if you're new and I wasn't your greeter. Feel free to ask me any questions you have, but more importantly, you should buy some pastry.

[Yep, he's totally serious about that. That's his serious face. Buy pastry, it's awesome!]

I deliver for the Funtom bakery, and I'm here to demonstrate to you how much better our pastry is than the other bakeries. For example, every pie we bring to you is thoroughly tested for acrobatic properties, you know? I'll show you.

[It turns out the NV has been mounted on...a bike helmet. Or so the shaky shot of a bike would lead you to believe. There are indeed pastry boxes stacked up in the basket. Yosuke mounts it, and kicks off. The roads here are a little bumpy, as if he's on some trail instead of the streets delivery bikes would usually stick to.]

[There's an obstacle course that's been carefully set up dead ahead. The camera shakes and shivers and the pastries are most likely jostled as Yosuke jumps over a log, does a figure eight, and starts up a big hill toward a small flags course. Except that somehow, something goes wrong. The camera seems to hiccough somehow, and the next shot is from the ground. The helmet has landed a few feet away from a stunned Yosuke, who is covered in cake icing and pie filling, and staring down at his hands in horror.]

[It takes him a second before he remembers the camera, and offers a shaky smile.]

A-as you can see, we always go the extra mile. Um. And the caramel apple pie is really good. I just tried some. You should...order before the holiday flavors are gone!

(OoC: Yosuke the friendly ghost is fading out for a canon update, guys. He'll be flickering noticeably in some replies, -fading out altogether during one at random- and trying not to freak out about it in front of potential customers. He'll be back in time for the holidays, and fully corporeal again!)

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[Why does that sound vaguely threatening?]

Uh...

[Sigh. It's pretty useless to argue with the truth, especially since its obviously obvious already.]

I think I'm-I don't know. Dying, maybe? Or going back where I came from? Something weird anyway. Something that feels pretty bad. But I'm trying not to, I swear!

You--

[ Dying? But he doesn't sound nearly as bad as he'd looked, that time before... ]

You're being Pulled, do you think? Or Pushed, rather?

[ Now this, this is interesting! ]

Tell me - what are you feeling, exactly? Are you seeing glimpses of your home as well as this place? Did you do anything to trigger it?

What? No! I didn't want this to happen. And it feels like being slammed in a car door every five minutes. I'm really dizzy. I-I don't think it's supposed to go like this.

Probably not. On the other hand, it's difficult to say what is supposed to happen, in the case of a variable as unknown as the--

[ ...

What? ]

You... don't want to go home?

So? It's not that weird!

[Look, dude. Home isn't all it's cracked up to be. Jeez.]

[ There's little to say to that. There are people here, clearly, whom Yosuke doesn't want to leave behind.

But whether or not he wants to go is, ultimately, irrelevant. And Break isn't the type to offer false hope. Ergo: ]

Don't just stand there.

Eat the rest of the pie, while you still can.

Would everyone just forget about the stupid pies?

[Stomp! ...Squish.]

E-eugh! Ugh! This is serious! This is serious, and I'm covered in pie.

[Life is so unjust.]

Tsk! Pie is serious. This might be your very last chance to eat one of Mister Gilbert's pies, ever in your life.

Don't squander the opportunity.

[ A little pause. ]

Speaking of which, I suppose I ought to tell you goodbye, while I still can.

[Well, that shuts him up. You can't tell, but he's making that kicked puppy face that Gil hates so much. This is so un-freaking-fair.]

Don't say that.

It's a rare opportunity.

Most people just get taken. Their only epitaph - if any - is a notice on the Network, or a sad little query: has anyone seen my friend?

So make your goodbyes, too. Tell the people you don't want to leave, why you don't want to leave them.

[ Pulling a wry smile: ] I would say, or else you'll regret it forever, but - you probably won't remember any of it, when you get home.

But they might.

I'm not going. I promised her.

[Yep, denial should totally work here.]

[ ...PINGED! ]

Goodbye, Yosuke.

[ END TRANSMISSION ]

[Okay, that was weird. But he's got bigger problems at the moment, so whatever.]

video! and many pies were lost that day...

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