Aoko Nakamori (
whitefeathered) wrote in
sirenspull2012-10-23 07:13 pm
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Entry tags:
005 Tracking
So . . . if you work for the companies, are you going to do what they say?
Locked to Ahiru, Gilbert, Kaito, and probably Joe.
I know almost none of you like me working for them anyway, and I don't really either, but . . . right now I really want to keep my job. But if I affiliate, then what? Especially if I want to get out later?
I don't like the tracking. I don't even know if I could pass a "loyalty screening," whatever that is.
I'm worried. But I have to figure out what to do fast.
Locked to Ahiru, Gilbert, Kaito, and probably Joe.
I know almost none of you like me working for them anyway, and I don't really either, but . . . right now I really want to keep my job. But if I affiliate, then what? Especially if I want to get out later?
I don't like the tracking. I don't even know if I could pass a "loyalty screening," whatever that is.
I'm worried. But I have to figure out what to do fast.
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But . . . they're still doing stuff like that. Aren't they?
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'M sorry. I'm making Ahiru worry.
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Sometimes it's hard to tell what "the best thing" is any more.
[There's a lot of truth to that. For Aoko, it used to be what was right was right and what was wrong was wrong. These days, it seems like there are far too many shades of gray.]
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I guess . . . I'm just starting to think sometimes you know what the right thing is, but it's not always the thing you can or should do.
Did you ever hear of the Heinz dilemma?
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No, I haven't.
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The Heinz dilemma . . . I read about it in school. Like . . . a man has a sick wife. The pharmacy where he can get the medicine won't sell it to him because he can't afford it, and they won't help him pay, even when he can pay part of it. So should he steal the drug to help his wife?
'S . . . not always easy.
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Thank you . . .
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Me? For what?
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Because . . . it's always felt like it should be the other way to me, no matter what. And sometimes . . . I guess it's hard to forgive myself for wanting the way you said so badly.
[A quick breath, and she swipes at her eyes with the back of her hand. Strangely enough, they feel like they're stinging.]
My dad's a police inspector. Back home. I guess . . . some of the choices I've had to make here, it's hard to feel like I'm not disappointing him.
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'M not really. I'm not always proud of me.
But . . . I try?
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On the rest . . . thank you.
I hope Ahiru is proud of herself too.
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I am. But it took a really long time for me to get there, so... I know how hard it is. But I know you can get there, too, and I bet all your friends want to help you just as much as I do.