fourth match | video

[mouthbreathing]

[It’s around midnight when Warsman switches his NV on to perhaps a slightly confusing sight: his helmet, illuminated by the stark, flickering light of his bedside lamp. After a moment he turns it back towards him where he’s sat on the bed and runs a hand through his newly-exposed hair, a feathery white-blond and tousled from sleep, or a lack thereof. It makes for a curious contrast to his mask and the glow of his eyes.

But even now he doesn’t look directly at the camera for long; his attention seems divided between the window off-screen and some unidentifiable point in his lap. The hollow ko… ho… of his breathing offsets the silence until he suddenly speaks.]

… how do you deal with nightmares? I thought I had them under control, but that video… [The sentence peters out. He’s not sure how to explain himself without seeming childish or attention-seeking, making another man’s misfortune all about himself, regardless of what it's reminded him of. He tries again.]

When I was still in Siberia, I used to take night walks to distract myself; the snow seemed to soften things. It always seemed more peaceful then. I’ve been patrolling Sector 10 here instead some nights, in case other people get caught out in the Darkness, but…

[A pause- the longer it lasts, the more obvious it becomes that he’s hesitating, building himself up to a confession.]

It’s a little lonely.

[With that, he ends the feed.]

Comments

[crimsonpuppeteer]

You're so very odd. You really don't know much of anything about me, but you seem determined to keep me safe from...from I don't even know. I haven't really been in any danger here, other then the danger of not being a native at least.

[She turns back towards the camera, her face devoid of emotion.]

You shouldn't worry so much. Particularly for someone you barely know.

[mouthbreathing]

[He gives a little laugh, just barely under his breath.] Maybe it is odd. I don't know. That doesn't really matter to me. You won't be able to stop be worrying about you, but if you want I'll stop making a fuss about it on the network. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable.

[crimsonpuppeteer]

[Finally, the girl turns back toward her camera. Her face is just as emotionally neutral as it always tends to be.]

It isn't odd in a bad way. More in one that I just can't understand. I can't look at someone I don't know and find myself caring a whole lot. I suppose it is just because I am used to being alone so often. Makes me think just of myself.

[mouthbreathing]

That's funny. Being alone makes me want to think about anyone but myself. [He doesn't deserve the time- and the idea of himself is one that's so profoundly depressing and unsettling that he doesn't like to dwell on it all that often.] You shouldn't have to be alone all of the time, though- I thought you lived with someone?

[crimsonpuppeteer]

I guess we just aren't quite as much alike as you thought, then. I've never found myself one to worry much about others.

[That is one place their thinking is intensely different. She believes that most other people are the ones not worthy of her thoughts, not herself. If she actually knew what had happened to her memories, she might not think that way, though.]

I live with someone, yes. I have to. Otherwise, I would have no protection from the dark.

[mouthbreathing]

You make it sound as though you never speak to them. Are they more of a housemate than a friend...?

[crimsonpuppeteer]

[The girl nods.]

That is about it. He does not seem like a bad person. I would not live with someone that did. But he is frequently busy, so we do not have a great deal of time to speak with one another.

[mouthbreathing]

[His mask creases around his eyes in a worried frown.]

I'm sorry to hear that. I'm living on my own right now, so I know how difficult it can be to just have your own thoughts to listen to sometimes.

[crimsonpuppeteer]

But I can talk to you. So I have someone to talk to, at least.

[Her face is emotionless as she says that. It is difficult to tell if it actually makes her happy or not.]

[mouthbreathing]

That's true. I'm not planning on going anywhere. [The creases soften a little; his mask seems closer to a smile now.] For what it's worth, I'm glad I have you to talk to as well.

[crimsonpuppeteer]

It is weird. I have never actually spoken to you face to face, and I do not know you that well, but you seem like someone I can trust. Or perhaps you are simply a good actor. I am not sure which. Either way, I do not hate talking to you.

[mouthbreathing]

I'm glad to hear it, because I like talking to you as well. [His own spin on "do not hate"; it's much less negative this way.] And for the record, I'm usually not very good at lying.