007 :: Video

[hulkbusted]

[Someone has gone through several cups of herbal tea this morning before feeling assured that he's calm enough to come to the network. If he didn't have classes to teach today, he'd spend the entire day doing a thorough physical on himself. (Get your minds out of any gutters they've fallen into.)

As it is, after the initial incredulity, shock, horror, and rising fury passed, he's thrown on a button down shirt, shoved his hair out of his face, and settled down in front of the video camera.]

Broadcast to any students in his class
Good morning, students. If you're thinking about skipping class today because you're suddenly confused about which bathroom to use, don't. I'll be there and fair warning to SPU faculty, I'll be using the men's room.

Biochem students, yes, we will be having the scheduled exam.


Unfiltered
Loki. I want a word with you.

Comments

[hulkbusted]

If it were medical I'd already be beating your door down, but after that crack, maybe I'll come over and do it anyway.

[doctor_mccoy]

My inbox is already full of surgical correction requests, it's a shame I left my magical gender reassignment wand back on my spaceship.

I was thinking more of chocolates, wine-coolers and chick flicks.

[hulkbusted]

[He's gonna get you for that, buddy.] I know you're lonely, but I'm already seeing someone.

[doctor_mccoy]

[This is really the funniest thing he's seen all week, probably because it didn't effect him.]

And here I thought we had something special.

[hulkbusted]

[Bruce would be far more amused if the tables were turned.]

It would serve you right if this was how you found out that I thought so too.

[doctor_mccoy]

Especially since you've turned into my mother.

[hulkbusted]

I--

What?

[doctor_mccoy]

[amused] So it makes it easier to forgive you for dumping me.

[hulkbusted]

[A variety of "do I look that old?" thoughts flit through his head before he rolls his eyes and sets the NV down on his desk again.]

Just for that I'm going to take all your money the next time we play pool.

[doctor_mccoy]

[Take it as a compliment, the McCoy's age well.]

You can try, though you might want to leave the heels at home.

[A beat, then:]... Last one, I think I finally got that all out of my system.

[hulkbusted]

Are you sure? You haven't asked me if I've figured out how to hook my bra yet.

[doctor_mccoy]

I can only imagine it's a lot like unhooking one, and if you haven't figure that out by now, then you've got more problems than just having to wear one in the first place.

[He'll insult your stockings, Bruce, but never your prowess.]

[hulkbusted]

{You're a true friend, Leonard. If just a wee bit of a dick right now.]

I have a feeling the mechanics are different when you're trying to do it behind your own back, but I wouldn't know since I don't have a stash of women's undergarments in my drawer for those moments when I need to feel pretty.

[doctor_mccoy]

[That's part of his charm.]

Do I need to take you shopping? You might scar all those impressionable young minds lettin' it all hang out like that.

[hulkbusted]

[Just for that...]

Yes. I'll need your professional opinion.

[doctor_mccoy]

[Damnit.]

I already regret this.

[hulkbusted]

[Don't make him angr-- angrier. You wouldn't like him...]

You're off the hook. Eli's making me something that will, let's say, stretch if things get big and green. My pants sometimes make it, but my shirts never do.

[doctor_mccoy]

Let hope this blows over before your special 'less than fresh' time of the month comes calling then.

[hulkbusted]

Or I find out that early menopause runs in my family.

[doctor_mccoy]

Well then we're already in trouble.

[hulkbusted]

I'll let you know if I start experiencing hot flashes.

[doctor_mccoy]

You're a peach.

[hulkbusted]

I want to drop by later. I might as well collect some blood and tissue samples while this is going on.

Let's skip the breast and pelvic exam quips now, okay?

[doctor_mccoy]

Fresh out of quips there, I'm still a professional. Though I might remark on your shoe size.

But sure, I'll lend you the lab.

[hulkbusted]

I'm not too proud to wear flip-flops.

Thanks. I don't expect any revelations, but maybe I'll surprise myself, and besides, you can see my blood do that fun green trick.