video.

[jokesonthem]

[It's been two weeks since Reim arrived, and he's sort of vaguely managed to settle in. Which means the opportunity has arisen to dive headfirst into Modern Technology that will confuse him greatly, of course. At least he knows which way to hold the NV, as he addresses it politely,]

Hello, [beat] city. I've recently arrived, and from a place very much unlike this one, so please excuse my ignorance of proper procedure when I ask-

How would one go about learning to drive a car? Could someone-- if it isn't too much, that is, lessons would be... appreciated. Although I'm afraid I don't have any experience whatsoever.

[Pause. He makes a face.]

Well. I've driven a tank, but...

[But we don't talk about Tank Day. Reim taps his fingers thoughtfully before adding, brightly,]

I am also interested in obtaining some work.

[He gives the NV a little smile, the perfect, practiced smile of a professional who knows when to be extra nice.]

Of course, any assistance will-- BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP [--be interrupted by the very sudden sound of an alarm going off on his NV (accidentally set without his knowledge, oops), which makes him shout and drop the thing--it lands on his toes, he yelps again, and it turns itself off when it hits the floor.

Flawless first impressions.]

Comments

[ Voice ]

[maddeninghatter]

Such a complainer~!

[ The feed shuts off, as does the feedback noise. ]

Blowing things up is fun!

[ His voice continues, however, as he's in the same room you are, Reim. Sitting nonchalantly on a chair, just out of your immediate field of vision, slipping silently in while your attention was focussed on your NV. ]

[ Voice ]

[jokesonthem]

No, it-- [Wait. Reim pauses before turning sloooooowly around and nearly dropping his NV again.]

When did you get in here?!

[ Action! ]

[maddeninghatter]

I walked in. I sat down. Just like you've always wanted, but you missed it, haahahhaha!

[ He's high as balls. On Percoset. Can you even tell? ]

You were otherwise occupied~♥

[ Action ]

[jokesonthem]

[... No, actually. Not really. Maybe if he had witnessed this supposed walking in like a normal person he'd find something amiss, but.]

Yes, well.

What is it this time? You won't get me to reconsider driving, you know-!

Re: [ Action ]

[maddeninghatter]

Why not?

[ Sitting normally in a chair is no fun, so Break swings himself sideways, hooking his legs over the arm. ]

You won't enjoy it. You'll be terrified the whole time, you'll go to pieces.

[jokesonthem]

[See? That's Standard Break. Reim closes the cover of his NV and puts it down, lest it horrify him again.]

It doesn't matter if I enjoy it. It's something I should do.

[maddeninghatter]

Stick to your strengths, Mister Reim. It's what I've always told you.

[ It is, actually.

Because, in Break's current state of mind, he'd find Reim's resolve upsetting. But these lovely pills make everything seem okay. So he's actually more like himself, or at least more like the self he strives to present. ]

Besides... if this works, you won't have to.

[jokesonthem]

[It is funny, Break seemingly under the impression that, even if he bad ideas himself back to having his sight and who knows what else, Reim will stop. The Port is different from being at home, at Pandora, and Reim can't paperwork away his inadequacies here. Not for lack of trying, as he is obviously trying, but.

Break insisting on shouldering everything alone is so old hat. It's just a car! Crisply:]

You won't stop me. That's final, Xerx.

[maddeninghatter]

Ha! Ha! Ha! You think I'd let you drive--

[ He twitches in his chair, nearly falling off. He claps a hand over the bandage covering his left eye. ]

[jokesonthem]

[He's already halfway to his feet, because that eye concerns him where normally he would simply let Break fall petulantly to the floor.]

Don't touch it...

[Huff. He pauses a moment, then sits back down.]

You would demand it, don't lie.

[maddeninghatter]

I didn't!

It just--

[ Oh, that... that was weird. But there's no point troubling Reim, so... ]

I... no. It would be, ah... You'd drive too slowly!

[jokesonthem]

[Hmmmm.]

Not all of us can be pointlessly reckless.

[maddeninghatter]

Ah--

[ And there it is again! What the--??? ]

Some of us... don't have time to be wasting.

[jokesonthem]

I never waste time.

[Possibly an exaggeration, but only just. He watches Break, carefully, even as he carries on in his My Dumb Friends tone.]

You laze about all the time!

[maddeninghatter]

[ There's no mistake. His new right eye is... ]

No, you spend time doing dull things.

[ ...definitely... ]

I'd rather get the boring stuff over with in a--ugh!

[ ...wiggling. ]

[jokesonthem]

Not that dull--

[Alright, now it's too much to ignore. He's already reaching for another of those bandages, as a clean bandage is... definitely the answer to everything? It could help.]

What? What is it?

[maddeninghatter]

[ The jig is up. Break grimaces-- ]

I don't know!

[ And then, he's way ahead of you. Changing the bandages is a capital idea, or at least taking this one off seems like a plan. He slides a finger beneath the tape and pulls--

Yep. That's a bright gold eye, definitely wiggling. But as soon as you come into its field of vision, Reim...

zzzzup!

...it stops wiggling and zooms over, training itself right on your face. Independent of the other eye, too. ]

[jokesonthem]

[Well, at least they're sort of on the same page--WHY]

Is it supposed to move like that-- [Oh no IT SEES HIM.

... Is that good? Reim is frozen in his chair, uselessly holding up a bandage, having apparently forgotten he took it out a moment ago.]

Xerxes, what exactly did you have put in your face?!

1/2

[maddeninghatter]

[ He can see--! ]

Ah!

[ --something. It's Reim's form, it's got to be, some sort of outline, except - it's bright. So bright. In fact, the brightest part of him is... ]

2/2

[maddeninghatter]

Ha! Haha! What an enormous shining brow you've got there, Mister Reim!

[jokesonthem]

[why this]



[It takes him a second.]

Shut up!

[And then he's finally on his feet, getting up close to Break, but instead of throwing things at him he holds his hand up and waves it in Break's face. Just like before, but for the opposite reason.]

Does it- does it work?

1/3

[maddeninghatter]

[ Hilarious! Reim's forehead! It's glowing, like the rest of him, but so much more brightly, so big and round and, as he draws near, it looks so-- ]

Hahahahaha!

[maddeninghatter]

[ DELICIOUS??? ]

3/3

[maddeninghatter]

[ Break squeezes his eye shut, claps his hand over it and recoils away from Reim! ]

I-- I think it still needs to heal!

[jokesonthem]

[This isn't hilarious at all, it's strange and troubling. Reim stops.]

Of course it needs to heal-!

[He's still holding the clean bandage, so, hesitantly, he approaches again.]

At least let me put the bandage on it.