sirenspull | video.

I never thought it would, but technology has finally lost its shine. Cars were a great change from horeshit in the streets, and touchscreen junk was all pretty interesting, but...

[This boy seems forlorn, like the Tooth Fairy's lies have all come out, or like someone's just told him that white chocolate isn't real chocolate. Conmen!]

It's all so normal now. Magical boxes named after fruits aren't magical anymore. YouTube isn't a sign from or against God. I don't even know when that happened, but I'm not a fish out of water any longer. Didn't it kind of feel like a status symbol at first? Being from times forgotten or unknown, that sad mystery? So, the integration really is queer. And I'm only using that word out of defiant nostalgia because it doesn't even mean the same thing now! [A huff of a laugh, a see what I mean? shrug.] I miss my temporal paradoxes, to tell you the truth...

[How wistful.]

And I miss castles, and my castle. Or, well, everything there was a castle compared to the apartment buildings and offices here. The new-new millenium is harsh and clean, but they don't make things pretty anymore. You know that? I have a book, of course, on the house I left behind all that time ago -- it still exists here, just old and full of tourists -- but it will never look as good as it did when I was its master. So cars sure are something, and the idea of airplanes - well - they made me want to shit myself, but they're amazing. And - And people have gone up to the fucking stars! [For the first time during this feed, he's lit up, quite taken with this idea but protesting it at the same time.] People can kiss moondust for real! And the sun is, it's... Your twenty-first century lot's all over the sky and I can blow dry my hair if I want to and take bright pictures any time I want, but even then, I'm not glad to be accustomed. I don't like...

[His nose wrinkles, and he doesn't say whatever it is that he's really thinking. Instead he sets his chin at his palm, and considers the NV in front of himself: its buttons are well worn by his thumbs. It's the first piece of technology he ever 'bonded' with, and there's been a lot of him in it.]

If anyone new here is listening to this, I just want to say that there are worse hells and homes than here, and you can find them if you really want to. I thought maybe I wouldn't talk anymore, that I could recreate my home here in a house that's almost as grand and much more full of people, even if they're people who fucking leave all the time. But this isn't anything like that. This is more of the world than I ever knew, before.

[That... became embarrassing, somehow. Alois shakes his head quickly, and splays his fingers over his cheeks.]

What I'm saying is that I still, still, still don't know what to do, but there's plenty of praying mantises to be found in the garden this time of year!

[SHORT BREATH. Never mind all of that. He slouches a little, to make himself more comfortable, and takes a tone of business instead.]

Lastly: Hannah, you'll take a word with me in my bedroom.

((Me? I've been gone and MIA because life enjoys its shenanigans. Him? Well, housemates and co., he's been around, but hermity and moody and not as HILARIOUSLY GREAT as he usually is ~~which was a nice time of respite, I'm sure~~.))

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[Okay. He runs down his mental checklist for how best to react to Hannah:

✓ act as cold as possible
✓ don't let her know he's nervous
✓ appear completely in charge
✓ bullshit your way through speaking; make her think you already know exactly what you're going to say

Not that this will be exceptionally easy.]

Enter, [he says from inside, and is pleased with himself for sounding chilly.]

[Entering feels a lot like time slows down. From the way her hand curls around the door handle to the speed in which she opens it. She is cautious, if only because she is afraid to look inside and see that Alois has changed beyond recognition. Perhaps he has grown out his hair. Perhaps he has taken to the modern culture here and pierced his nose. As she opens the door, she is also afraid that he hasn't changed at all.

He sounds the same, after all, while Hannah hasn't really changed a bit.

She closes the door behind her. She clasps her hands over her apron and she keeps a respectable distance, eyes slightly downcast. Respect or shame, she isn't sure herself. ]

Master.

[He was going to be extra tough and meet her facing the door, but now he really wishes he hadn't. It's difficult to keep from turning and getting sick all over his carpet.

Hannah has always been lovely, really, really pretty. Her hair is so long and she is so shapely, and her face has such elegant features. Why is someone worse than worms so graceful? That's always frustrated him, too. He bites his lip.

A few seconds in, he realizes he's holding his breath. His exhale comes long and slow.]

So—o...

[So yeah, my brother is gone, I'm sure you've noticed. I don't have him anymore. Does that mean he's inside of you, or what? Could he hear me if I said anything? Or are you empty, too? Are you the barren piece of shit you should be? Does this mean you know what it's like to be so full and then so hollow? I hope you know you deserve it. I hope you know everything that happens to me is your fault. I hope you know you made him gladder than anyone else. I hope you know...]

I trust you've integrated back into the household.

[He won't look at her face. His stare, instead, hovers somewhere near her left shoulder.]

[Hannah is empty. She is hollowed out and sewn back together. The stitching is fragile and sometimes it tears open when she walks by Luca's room. Hannah knows and she knows well. ]

Easily enough.

[Hannah cannot lie to Alois Trancy. There is no pretense about this being her first time with Alois Trancy. It has been easy, if only because Ciel keeps her busy. He keeps her distracted. The Network is quieter than she remembers too.

She is nervous again. Not in the way were her palms sweat or her stomach flips. But in the way were she wants to say a million things all at once. Alois is all she has now. Alois is all she has now. ]

Of course.

[Just because he's horrifying doesn't mean she fucks up the chores. Good luck getting him to admit that, but still; he does know it. He♥

It hurts, he realizes.]

I didn't want to see you. When you came, I didn't want to have to look at you or hear you or even smell you. I thought you might as well be a ghost, and I wouldn't have to deal with it...

[He grits his teeth, and presses his palms harshly to his eyes. This is such a weak gesture, but he can't help doing it in front of her.]

But I'm tired of living in haunted houses.

[She doesn't judge him for it. Her expression softens, but not out of pity. Her chest is tight and sore and the sensations get worse with every passing second. Her fingers twitch against her dress and Hannah would like nothing more than to smooth away the hair on Alois' forehead and kiss his skin. She is stuck in place.

She supposes she has been a lot like a ghost. ]

I'm sorry.

[She pauses. ]

Sorry does not satisfy, however.

You - [All at once, his voice rises; he makes to strike her but doesn't, and snatches her wrist instead. His grip is fierce and tight and panicky.] You should be sorry! You more than anyone—

[He stops shouting, breathes quickly, but does not release her.]

How did you, how did you make him so happy?

[Stilted, he lowers himself to his knees before her. He's Alois Trancy, though, and he can make even an action like that look prideful.]

Does he...

[His eyes close. He lets his forehead tilt to rest so carefully against Hannah's stomach.]

He isn't, is he?

[He isn't there. Alois still holds her wrist.]

[Hannah does not put up a fight. Hannah never puts up a fight, not with Alois. There is not a single way that she can put up a fight when it comes to Alois. Her beloved. The only heart she has left. Even after all this time. Her eyes soften. Hannah made him happy because he thought he was making Jim Macken happen.

Hannah does not know what to say. With her other hand, she raises it. It hovers over his head -- it hesitates and floats before very carefully settling itself atop.

She exhales and swallows. Her throat feels dry. She feels especially hollow, just now. ]

I am empty. Of heart, of stomach -- I was taken from him as much as he was taken from you, here.

[She pauses. ] Do you think him dead?

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