sirenspull | [Voice]

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[Voice]

In the light of current events, as well as an increasing awareness of our dependency on electronic assistance, it begs the question...

Humankind really is over-reliant on our own technological advancements, aren't we?

My own city of Romdeau fell in part because of the Cogito Virus, which gave rise to the revolt of artificial intelligence. We could not function in our day-to-day lives without entourage and other service autoreivs handling menial operative tasks within the dome. People went mad, lost sheep- it was really quite humbling, how easy crippled we were. How childlike and helpless. Myself included. This world has changed me even in the simplest ways.

Three years ago, prior to my arrival, I'd never really done any cooking for myself, or cleaning for instance, or... so many things. Blackouts would render even the modern day hospital effectively paralyzed, if not for our backup generators.

(This is an awfully ironic conversation to be opening over NV, isn't it?)

All the same, my curiosity is piqued-

Some of you are from ages before the development of computers, androids, networks, lights, motorized vehicles, electronic devices and appliances, digital media, etc, etc...

I'd really like to know- what was it like? How did you live? What was the adaptations necessary, living "hands on", and without tools? Reliant on only face to face communications.

How is it for you now? Improved? Or do you feel as we're all inadept and talentless by comparison, as drone-like as the binary accessories which support us?

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No I'm not. I'm not someone who was extraordinarily talented at anything right out the gate. I have every intention of riding Raul's coattails until I get a little older. Once I'm thirty or so people might stop looking past me. They'll see I've been there all along. And they'll probably see I planted one of the knives sticking out of Raul's back... but that's only in the case of him eventually going mad.

[Which he actually sort of believes could happen. Franz has seen a lot to make him lose faith in men like Raul.]

--But it would help to have a degree from one of our fine institutions., at some point. Even if I'd become a diplomat, it's not like they let you talk to the aliens right off.

But Thirty! Goodness, making me wait till I'm an old man! Maybe my institutions will even let newcomers out of residency, by then!

[he jests, tempted to point out that Franz could probably do so much better than coattails, if he aspired to seriously]

Thirty's the age most people submit for- or... well I guess, have children by, here.

I didn't realize you were waiting on my career to pick up. Don't you have enough to worry without me going to the NPP offices every day wondering if and when someone's going to try and blow it up? [Franz brushes his hair out of his face, though it's really not mussed enough to warrant it.] Raul... needs me. He's proven to be more or less hopeless without me. He said it would work for me to do just part-time with him, but his demands of my time aren't part-time ones. I can make this arrangement work.

Of course, I didn't plan for this job to be my occupation. I just wanted to make enough money to go to school and impress Raul enough to get a letter of recommendation. Now I feel like I asked him for one he'd hit the ceiling, because it'd mean I was leaving him.

Entourage were never 'part-time' assistants [Daedalus frowned, muttering softly- of course Raul needed him, and to imply it could ever be a part-time position was misleading.

More likely, Raul was only conscious of the work that Franz did only part of the time.]

It's attractive, knowing you're indispensable to someone else.

But is that what you want for yourself, in the long run?

Edited 2012-09-29 23:26 (UTC)

It's not about my ego. It's about not abandoning someone who needs me.

[Not again.]

I want to make this city a better place for newcomers. But - you know, I've been going to those youth group things sometimes, and the other kids my age area always like, "Oh I stayed up past three AM playing video games and I slept past noon", "I was out all night partying and I was really hung over, look at the pictures!" And I'm...

I'm jealous of that. Not that I really like to play video games or want to puke in the bathroom of some club, but that freedom. I mean, they're part of this city, and I never will be in the sense that I have a duty here. [Just like back home, he realizes, and frowns. He half-covers his face, pressing at his temples.]

God, it's embarrassing. I'm just sick of throwing parties and going to other people's parties, I'm sick of centering on keeping up appearances but it's all I know how to do. [He's deeply shaken at the end of this, and swallows hard.]

Damn it, Daedalus, we were talking about you, weren't we?

Don't worry about me. [He's all too grateful to discard that subject, shaking his head.] And don't be embarrassed!

This is good, I shouldn't hog up all the table conversation anywhat- we're finally getting to you now. I can never hear enough about Franz d'Epinay, the man beneath the charming clothes.

...and it's not too late to learn how to do something else? I'm...not entirely hopeless outside of the doctors office, am I?

[And ironically, the next words out of his mouth are the same ones he told himself nearly two years ago in the mirror, except they were regarding Re-l.]

Raul could probably afford to need you a little less.

It would be better for him, in the long run.

Great. You tell him that, I'll be hiding under my desk for the city's inevitable destruction as he tears it apart looking for my replacement.

--Daedalus, you're a genius. You have a really great, analytic mind, and you're philosophical as well. When you talk about something that makes you passionate, you're outright poetic. You're... [But he is still being a little bit embarrassed, as if they're not well-established partners.] You're amazing. If you ever wanted to do something outside of your field, I'm sure you could find enthusiasm for it. But have you ever really considered doing anything else?

I haven't, not seriously. [That's a lie, though, and one his ability picks up on, causing his glow to flicker.]

[Daedalus tries not to look so pleased with being told he's a prodigy, with being openly admired in such a shying way- though it's easier to frown when Franz uses the example of his aptitudes to downplay his own potential.

Especially while lying outright about his personal hopes. The doctor gently raises an eyebrow and sits back expectantly when he notices that flicker ]

Well.... suppose I challenged you to think about it, seriously.

If Raul were to vanish, tomorrow, what would you do with yourself? I know you think that my keeping of a raison d'etre in one person is potentially toxic, but do you have an alternative option?

What would you do, hypothetically, if freed up from the ludicrous gophering and dry cleaning runs, and smoothing over the clients that his temper can't manage? Would you stay at Lion's Gate, throwing parties for other people?

[I know you think that my keeping of a raison d'etre in one person is potentially toxic, but do you have an alternative option?

If Franz were a touch more petulant, he'd be scowling at the comparison. But he realizes he doesn't have a readily available argument: It is, in a lot of ways, pretty much the same.

Ugh, he hates this. It's not fair. It's not like he wants to sleep with Raul ~~except for one weird dream he had which he will absolutely never discuss because ew~~, so it's not the same in that respect. And it makes him grind his teeth, yes, honestly clench his jaw to think Daedalus still. Doesn't. Get it. But that's an old argument, one that will probably follow them to whoever ends up in the grave permanently.]

I guess I'd go to school full time, like we discussed. Guilt Kurt or Blaine into taking charge of Lion's Gate, or someone, so we could keep a piece on the board over there.

I still say that all in all, it's not a bad idea. Going full time, if that's what would make you happiest.

[Franz replies without a moment's pause:] It's not about what makes me happiest. Someone has to do the hard work too.

[Which is absolute sincerity, but it makes him flinch anyway.]

You know, I haven't changed a bit.

[and Daedalus just shakes his head, smiling.]

I adore you, all the same...you know that hasn't changed, right?

Yes. It's all that keeps me going sometimes. You're the only thing no one's ever taken away.

[Franz almost says the worst part - the scary part - yet.]

I should hope that's not the only reason you keep me around?

[Grinning.] Well, there's the sex too. You're really very good at it.

[And just because he's not a complete ass, he reaches across to pat Daedalus's hand.]

I love you. That came out... really badly. I'm scared all the time, Daedalus. I think I've always been scared.

When we're not pulling sixty hour work weeks... [He laughs, a little bit apologetic for his lack of energy by the end of the day.

His fingers curl loosely in Franz's, twining them closer]

At least there's hope that it's not doomed to all come to an end, you know? At least...we're not staring at the inevitable? I don't know how to reassure you, Franz- but I don't plan on going anywhere.

I know. [Franz nods, standing up to pick up his bowl, pressing a kiss to his forehead before he sets it in the sink to rinse it off.]

I tried to quit on Raul, you know, just do it all at once - and he wouldn't let me. Almost a year ago now. He said he'd let me go to part time if I found him a replacement and the replacement disappeared. There's no one else he trusts with the level of work I do for him.

I care about him. That's the worst part. If I didn't this wouldn't be a problem at all.

[It's the sort of casual, affectionate fondness that Daedalus feels exceptionally spoiled by, every time it happens. A moment later, hearing the sound of water running, he realizes he's barely even gotten around to touching his own food yet.

Something about that statement that gives him pause- that Franz cares, and maybe he cares too much, but Daedalus calling that to question would only end up spouting hypocritical things, in the end. And so he just opts for a quiet sigh, shaking his head.]

One of these days, Franz d'Epinay... we're going to start caring for ourselves. One of these days, mark my words, it will happen. You'll convince me, and I'll convince you that we're worth it.

Is it really so bad, with me looking after you and you looking after me? [Franz offers a little bit of a smile, helping himself to more wine when he sits down.]

...Do you really think we'll have kids one day?

We both get exasperated with how much we keep putting ourselves aside. It's... we're content to live this way, but it's not ideal.

[A soft laugh, and he swills the remaining droplets around in the glass.]

If we ever do become parents, we'll care about ourselves even less, you know.

We need another vacation. [Because Franz has been cagey since he was attacked by Joker, and Daedalus is always tired with work, their little nights of domestic bliss have been fairly quiet. Which is fine, but he thinks he might go a bit nuts if they don't set aside some more... personal time.] I really like kids, you know. I always got along with Max's siblings. Even Valentine's horrible prat of a brother liked me.

At least if we adopted or found a surrogate we'd be taking care of them by our choice, not out of a sense of not knowing a better option.

[Not knowing a better option is still a frankly horrifying reality of this day and age, and Daedalus can't help but suppress a twisting shudder at the thought of unplanned parenthood-

...miraculous and marvelous as it is. He's seen too many underqualified parents, and Daedalus who has been taught to oversee the system's tallies and final verdicts on application. He has higher standards. He judges.]

Of course we'd have plenty of time to think about it and prepare.

But that's not really fair until you and I are a bit...well, settled, till we've sorted out our own problems, it would be irresponsible to thrust a child in to try and resolve them. In fact I really wouldn't want to raise children until it could be assured that we'd both stay here.

I'm not talking about now anyway, Daedalus, I wouldn't want to do it unless we'd been married for awhile.

[And that's also an awkward subject, so, barreling onward:] No one is ever one hundred percent safe anywhere. A child can grow up just fine missing a parent. It's the risk we'd take anywhere.

[Maybe more so here, true, but Paris was no picnic for him either - or, more importantly, his father.]

We shouldn't be afraid to do something we want out of fear of what could happen. [A pause.] Like I shouldn't be afraid to tell Raul I want to quit, I suppose.

Yes, but all risks taken on behalf of a younger person carries an added weight of responsibility, and ought to be considered carefully - its determining the fate of child, Franz, not a decision strictly between two adults, like you and I.

We've seen the rate at which most people come and go, here...

We've been exceptionally lucky.

One day, I hope it is possible that the core is stabilized in our favorite. That's why Ido believe in backing its research- carefully, and with every precaution taken.

It's been this way for decades, though. [Franz sighs.] It's a bit weird to think we've been lucky at this.

[Of course it brings to mind the stabbing. He wishes he could stop looking over his shoulder, but it seems even more dangerous that he doesn't know when someone might show up.]

Eat your soup.

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