† THREE [voice] - backdated to about the 16th.

[upstairsbrain]

[ Well, he's taken some time to mull over what Magento told him about his time in the Port: the time he doesn't remember. And thinking it over, trying to reason it out, searching for a shred of memory to explain why he'd done it... nothing like that had worked. So, finally, the younger Winchester comes over the feed, his voice almost jerky, mechanical. To many, it may seem like he's just tired, but to those who know him well... ]

Sorry about being M.I.A. If anyone needs me, I'll be around. I'm taking a sort of--

[ He trails off, and then clears his throat. ]

... Anyway. I'll be back soon.

[Private to Dean Winchester:]
I'm not going to be at home for a few days. Don't tell Mom, alright? I don't want her to worry.

[Private to Castiel:]
Can we talk? In person?

Comments

[upstairsbrain]

[ God. God spoke with Cas, here. Sam's almost struck dumb, momentarily forgetting everything else, the main subject of their bleak conversation. He still prayed (not every day, like before,) but... still. He had to hope that there was something looking out for them, who knew what they'd been through. Who could protect those close to them. And, it hadn't been in vain? Who knew.

Sam's expression softens, as if this tangent has sobered him up a bit, lessened his grief, slightly. ]

Alright. [ It leaves a sour taste, saying that it's fine, when it isn't. But, Castiel's taken the time to try and assuage his fears, to explain, so... he has to try, too. ] Alright.

Thanks for coming. [ He nods, firmly, furrowing his brow. ] At least... it's over now, right? And you're okay.

[ He hopes, anyway. ]

... Am I missing anything else, or...?

[ofthursday]

I'm fine, Sam. The last of this happened in February, and I have regained all of my power since then.

[He's not stuck half-mortal anymore, and he's able to heal himself and fly and do everything else he should be able to. The memories and stress just add to a long list of others, and he can deal with it.

He considers Sam's last question a moment, before giving something of a half-shrug of one shoulder.]

Magneto isn't supposed to speak with you. I told him I would kill him if he came near you or any of my other friends.

[That counts as 'anything else' he's pretty sure.]

[upstairsbrain]

... At least it's been a while. [ If that helps, it's something. And Cas said he had his abilities back, which was an encouraging fact. ]

--Don't kill him. [ He says, and quickly adds: ] Please. I'm the one who agreed to meet up, to hear what he had to say. It's half my fault.

[ofthursday]

It has.

[Long enough to move on, for the most part, even if he just sort of has to ignore what happened to do so. That's no different than anything else that's happened in his life.]

You didn't know.

[But he also doesn't look like he's about to fly off and kill anyone, either. He's just tired of this; of being afraid that Magneto's going to hurt one of his friends like he did before, and tired of fighting. He's in a lose-lose position and he knows it, and it's just another thing he has to figure out what to do about.]

[upstairsbrain]

Still. [ He'd have to add more guilt to the already-heaping pile if someone was hurt, or killed, because he'd been poking around for information. ]

I know I shouldn't have been trying to figure this all out without talking to you guys-- I get it. This is what's happened, and I did it to myself. Just...

[ There's a half-shrug, and a helpless sort of look. ]

[ofthursday]

He is dangerous, Sam. He killed a friend of mine, and he is living with Lucifer. He should not have been near you.

[And surely not representing himself as a friend, as he surely had. Or talking about something that wasn't his business to begin with.]

You had reason to want to know. I don't blame you for doing so, and neither should anyone else.

[And a small pause, because he feels that he owes a bit of an explanation as well.]

I didn't want you to know because it is not your responsibility. You should not carry the weight of what happened.

[upstairsbrain]

[ ... Oh. Yeah, he didn't know those things. He hadn't even encountered Lucifer yet, something that boded badly, he thought. The anticipation had built up into another horrifying mass in his brain... as if there wasn't already enough going on in there.

Regardless. ] ... I didn't know. [ He swallows. ] Sorry, Cas.

[ Yikes. What else isn't he aware of? Everything, clearly... ]

I'm just trying to do what I can. [ Sam shifts his weight from foot to foot. ] Maybe get a fresh start here, y'know?

[ofthursday]

[Castiel just frowns slightly, and shakes his head; that's not the response he wanted. He just wants Sam to know who and what he's dealing with, so he doesn't get taken advantage of, and whether or not Magneto himself would harm Sam the factor of Lucifer is impossible to ignore. Castiel doesn't doubt Magneto would pick Lucifer over Sam if it comes to it, so the threat is very real to him.]

Stop apologizing, Sam.

[It's quiet, without any snappishness or feeling in genera, just kind of tired. This isn't Sam's fault, any of it, and apologies had been all he'd heard from the other Sam.]

I hope that you can. Your family should know better than to disallow that.

[Though Castiel doesn't like John and doesn't doubt he'll try to hold this over Sam's head. Mary he's sure will make an effort to start again, but he doesn't know if she'll be able to.

Dean, though, is Dean. At least Sam has him, here.]

[upstairsbrain]

I meant-- for your loss. [ He pauses a moment, sticking his hands into his pockets.

As Castiel's suspected, the way his family has been doesn't make things much better. John was the first one to bring this up, and Mary... she hadn't meant to, but her reaction had hit him the hardest. ]

I'll talk to them. Try to straighten things out, make them see that... I'm not that person. If I was, then, that was before. I've got a handle on this. I do.

[ On that darkness, that demon blood, pumping in his veins. He thinks... hopes, at least, that what he's saying is true. ]

... I'll give you some space. I just wanted to talk.

[ofthursday]

[Oh. Well. Still awkward, but better at least, and he gives what might almost be intended as a shrug.]

People return from death here. He did.

[So it's not alright, but not as bad as it might have been. He nods slightly at Sam's words; he'd told them, Mary more than John, that the person who'd been here before hadn't been Sam for a long time. He doubts it will take long for this Sam to prove how different he is, because it's clear in everything about him.

He nods slightly, glancing up at the rapidly darkening sky, then back at Sam.]

Do you have time to get home?

[He can fly him, if necessary. He doesn't want Sam to get caught out in the Darkness.]

[upstairsbrain]

Right. [ That makes sense as much as things did back home; God knows, he and Dean had been brought back enough before. Sam glances toward the sky, too, once it's mentioned, considers it, and then nods. ]

Yeah, I'll be fine. [ He needs the time to finish up his musing. ] ... Guess I'll talk to you again, soon?

[ofthursday]

Of course.

[He nods once more, looking at Sam seriously for a moment before he speaks again.]

If you ever have need of me, call.

[Don't hesitate, or feel guilty, or question if it's okay.]

[upstairsbrain]

I will. [ He says it earnestly, and nods. ] Thanks again for your help. And for... understanding.

[ Understanding... well, everything. The younger Winchester offers one last, firm nod, and then heads off, hurrying a bit to dodge the incoming Darkness. ]