† THREE [voice] - backdated to about the 16th.

[upstairsbrain]

[ Well, he's taken some time to mull over what Magento told him about his time in the Port: the time he doesn't remember. And thinking it over, trying to reason it out, searching for a shred of memory to explain why he'd done it... nothing like that had worked. So, finally, the younger Winchester comes over the feed, his voice almost jerky, mechanical. To many, it may seem like he's just tired, but to those who know him well... ]

Sorry about being M.I.A. If anyone needs me, I'll be around. I'm taking a sort of--

[ He trails off, and then clears his throat. ]

... Anyway. I'll be back soon.

[Private to Dean Winchester:]
I'm not going to be at home for a few days. Don't tell Mom, alright? I don't want her to worry.

[Private to Castiel:]
Can we talk? In person?

Comments

voice; private;

[upstairsbrain]

That just means I'll change back into that person, doesn't it? [ A chilling realization. ] ... It could still happen again. Even if I try to stop it.

[ He always knew, and they always told him. Bad. Bad person. Demon blood, pumping through his tainted veins. ]

voice; private;

[paterelohim]

No! No, it means- it means you won't turn into that. Just think of it like alternate timelines. The other Sam lived back at home right up until the big prize fight and he went through- Jesus, you don't even know. He guzzled gallons of demon blood, and that's when the Core brought him.

But your timeline has split off from his. You don't have to be him at all. As long as you're here, you never will be- and since the other Sam only did those awful things after a year of living here, there's no way you could ever turn into him. Never.

voice; private;

[upstairsbrain]

[ He thinks, but doesn't say, that if 'the other Sam' worked up to this fight by drinking demon blood, that... it was probably their only plan. The last resort. And he'd surely face the same fate again, no matter what he did.

But, he just swallows, and nods, on his end. ]

... I guess you're right. [ He doesn't have the will to argue, now. ] I just wish I could make up for it all. For before.

voice; private;

[paterelohim]

[He lets out a sigh. Partial victory.]

Just be yourself- be the best version of yourself. Maybe ask some questions, try to get the story in their words.

I find that people need to talk about their own stories, and they need to hash things out, even if logically, there's nothing you can do about it.

voice; private;

[upstairsbrain]

I think I will. [ And he means it. ] As long as dredging up the past doesn't send anyone into... I dunno, a spiral-- [ He's already had a terrible conversation with both parents, hoping to not do that again-- ] ... Then I think it's the right thing to do. You're right.

voice; private;

[paterelohim]

Yeah.

You know- maybe whoever you're worried about is doing so badly because they never got to really deal with it? I mean, you know how your family is with talking about anything, it's "have one tense conversation then pretend it never happened." There must be a middle ground you can find where they can talk without necessarily putting all that burden on you.

voice; private;

[upstairsbrain]

[ Practically part of the family, eh, Chuck? Sam almost smiles at the thought, bizarre as it is... but, he doesn't. Instead, he heaves a sigh, and nods. ]

I know. It's just... easier said than done, with them.

voice; private;

[paterelohim]

I know.

[He can guess. Winchesters, man.]

You can do it.

voice; private;

[upstairsbrain]

[ There's a weary smile in his voice. ]

Thanks, Chuck. I'll let you know how it goes.