gunsling: (pic#1795172)
Jake English ([personal profile] gunsling) wrote in [community profile] sirenspull2012-07-27 11:51 pm

(no subject)

Today I sat down for the first time.
It was like an orchestra playing the world's most archaically, nauseatingly beautiful refrain devoid of even the most subtle of auto-tunes, a nostalgiatrip back to a time when your wombsack carrier was nothing but a gross shrimpy slime baby shitting her pants and screaming herself hoarse.
Retro as shit, all pipes and organs and screeching violins.
Like fireworks ascending to give a big fuck you finger to voyeuristic gods.
The second my borrowed rump touched the upholstery of our couch I could hear angels clearing their collective throats to serenade me into an endless ass heaven.
It was like magic trickling into the reality slipstream, like all my wildest dreams just legged it the fuck out of my head to offer a stoic nod and a hearty fistbump.
It seems there is a sicktwisted percentage representing the possibility that I am in possession of an ass masterpiece, and that percentage is 100.
Let me tell you about the ass of Jake English, Siren's Port.
Might as well be carved out of marble.
It casts a shadow of shame over the lackluster posterior of my cognitive predecessor.
I'm caught up in all these complicated emotions upon being associated with an ass that is easily bested by even the slightest curved broom handle.

This is Dirk Strider's auto-responder in the body of Jake English, and today I touched a butt for the first time.
It was a religious experience.


[ text opt out, part of the ongoing bodyswap plot. ]
dialogic: (Default)

[personal profile] dialogic 2012-09-01 07:43 am (UTC)(link)
Youre acting like i should!!
Which i dont!
I dont understand a bloody thing thats going on right now!!!!!!!
asano_san: (Why do I even bother?)

[personal profile] asano_san 2012-09-03 09:05 am (UTC)(link)
Fine! Nobody understands anything!
dialogic: (pic#4131692)

[personal profile] dialogic 2012-09-06 07:34 am (UTC)(link)
More or less!
dialogic: (Default)

[personal profile] dialogic 2012-09-13 06:57 am (UTC)(link)
No one believes that for a second!
Not when im sitting here telling you exactly whats wrong with EVERYTHING YOURE DOING!!!
dialogic: (pic#4131689)

[personal profile] dialogic 2012-09-13 06:59 am (UTC)(link)
What is that supposed to mean??
asano_san: (Why would you do that?)

[personal profile] asano_san 2012-09-13 10:11 am (UTC)(link)
Not if! It is all the Core's fault!

The only thing I could do was train to control it.

I had to do so many push-ups! What do push-ups even have to do with a power like that?!
vinovidivici: ([frown)

[personal profile] vinovidivici 2012-09-18 02:31 pm (UTC)(link)
[ finger drumming ] I'm sorry it's made you such a pain in the ass.
dialogic: (pic#4131710)

god fucking damn it i'm not logging back out

[personal profile] dialogic 2012-09-21 09:19 am (UTC)(link)
Is that what you think you're doing?
I thought you were just shitting on all my fun.
Edited 2012-09-21 09:22 (UTC)
dialogic: (Default)

ahahaha

[personal profile] dialogic 2012-09-22 06:55 am (UTC)(link)
Theres nothing fun about anything youre doing here.
dialogic: (Default)

[personal profile] dialogic 2012-09-22 06:57 am (UTC)(link)
It seems you have asked about dss chat client auto-responder. This is an application designed to simulate dss otherwise inimitably rad typing style tone cadence personality and substance of retort while he is away from the computer. The algorithms are guaranteed to be 0.000000001% indistinguishable from dss native neurological responses based on some statistical analysis i basically just pulled out of my ass right now.
bosomist: (36 ♣ fruitfullness)

[personal profile] bosomist 2012-09-29 10:01 pm (UTC)(link)
What striking imagery.
dialogic: (pic#4131695)

[personal profile] dialogic 2012-10-15 03:10 am (UTC)(link)
Your opinion doesnt count right now!
dialogic: (Default)

[personal profile] dialogic 2012-10-15 03:17 am (UTC)(link)
Go fuck yourself!
dialogic: (Default)

[personal profile] dialogic 2012-10-26 05:20 am (UTC)(link)
I don't see why it shouldn't.
I'm still having fun.
dialogic: (Default)

[personal profile] dialogic 2012-10-28 01:24 am (UTC)(link)
Of course YOURE having fun!
Youre the one with arms and legs and the ability to put your hands all over things you shouldnt!

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