† ONE [voice] - backdated to Friday morning

[upstairsbrain]

[ Hello, world. Meet new arrival, Sam Winchester. But you might not know that it's him, because he's not showing his face yet, and: ]

This is Agent Murdock. [ He clears his throat, pausing a moment. ] If anyone's out there, and can hear me, or needs help... just let me know. I'm sort of at a loss, here, and I'd like some information. If this thing is even working, that is.

[ He's confident in his tech abilities, but something's definitely up with his phone. ]

... Thanks.

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[servingfather]

[Michael is silent the entire time Mary pours her heart out to him, arm wrapped tight and fingers carding softly.]

John doesn't realize that just like you were ripped from them, they were ripped from you. It's a family of strangers and you can grow to love them too but it's not the same as seeing them grow up. Broken or not, they love each other and they love you. No matter what you see or learn, remember that and that I'm here when you need me.

[She caresses Mary's cheek gently again.]

We all lose people we care about, but you get the chance to see Sam not only at his worst but also at his best. I've seen him, Mary. I've watched them both grow up and maybe they didn't have the life you wanted but your sons stand together no matter what the odds. They save people.

[momchester]

They shouldn't have had to. They should have had the chance to be happy and safe like everyone else. I would die again a thousand times to make that happen.

[She looks up at him, leaning into the touch with wide eyes, like she's trying to convince him. Begging him to believe that she would.]

I don't know how to make John understand. I can barely talk to him. All he sees is himself and his own pain- and it's not even about me anymore. He doesn't see me. He sees what he wanted me to be. It's all about him losing me, but now that he has me it's still all about him. He doesn't realize that I'm real. I'm a person with feelings and they can be nasty, he doesn't get it. I'm just... [Shaking her head and looking down cynically.] The disappointing shadow cast by the wife he thought he had. He didn't know me then, and I don't know if he wants to know me now. Not really.

[servingfather]

[It kind of stings to talk about what should have happened, what kind of lives they have had.] It's not John's fault and you can't blame him for it. I'm sorry, Mary. My problems spilled over into your family because I wanted it to all end, because I thought it was the right thing to do for everyone and you and your family paid the price. However, I do not have the authority to re-write history. Not even I can stop Fate and Death from doing their jobs. [A pause because Michael does believe it but it won't change anything now.] I know you would but it too wouldn't change anything.

John's been chasing a ghost of a woman he thought he knew because you never told him. He was a man possessed by all the things you kept secret and his grief has consumed him for so long. It's hard to see beyond that sometimes but John has it in him to do so. He may just need a nudge.