sirenspull | † ONE [voice] - backdated to Friday morning

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† ONE [voice] - backdated to Friday morning

[ Hello, world. Meet new arrival, Sam Winchester. But you might not know that it's him, because he's not showing his face yet, and: ]

This is Agent Murdock. [ He clears his throat, pausing a moment. ] If anyone's out there, and can hear me, or needs help... just let me know. I'm sort of at a loss, here, and I'd like some information. If this thing is even working, that is.

[ He's confident in his tech abilities, but something's definitely up with his phone. ]

... Thanks.

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So, you don't remember anything?

[He nods to himself. He's not sure if that's good or not. Mary won't be happy, at least.]

You over your demon blood addiction?

[Hi, just casually dropping that bomb. Yeah he knows, which is why he sound so crusty when he asks. ]

John.

[Just. Glaring.]

There are some things we do not share over a public network feed. This is one of them.

'Scuse me, was I talking to you Bridezilla?

You're already the worst husband of the year. Don't add father to the list by being a douchebag.

[Yes, voice. Which is how you know you seriously fucked up, John.]

John Eric Winchester. [Seriously fucked up.] If I ever have to explain the point of filters to you again.

[God fucking dammit. If he just fucked his last chance over...

At least he looks suitably ashamed.]

I'm sorry. Wasn't thinking.

[Nope. Public.]

Sorry, can you repeat that? Where Sam can hear you?

[Be content in the knowledge, Mary, that you are the only person in existence to have the peer to make him do this.]

I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking.

[Sob.]

I know.

[In the tone of "we'll talk about this later."]

This is my fault. I should be used to it by now.

[Wow, the hell? It was a little slip up but she-

No, no. He has to be "good". She needs to win, or he'll just lose her again. It hurts, but he shoves down the anger and rolls over.]

No, it's not your fault. It's all me.

Oh please, John, don't give me that-

[There's static cutting off Mary's words and suddenly one (1) archangel is in possession of her NV.]

Haven't the two of you grown tired of fighting with each other?

[The hell?]

Give her back the NV.

[Quieter, since she's farther away, but obviously irritated.]

Michael, give it back. That isn't-

[It's suddenly like someone hit the mute button on the television. They'll keep going but no more sounds are making it passed their lips, from either of them.]

Enough. Your wife is very tired, John. [Click. A few seconds after the feed is ended they'll both be able to speak and if John's tries to reach either of them via NV he'll find they both go straight to voicemail.]

-! [Wtf Michael, you took her voice.

One her little Star Trek communicator flips shut in his hand, Michael looks up at his face, mutely outraged that he's being so angelic about this. Her lips keep working, hilariously, and she's clearly mouthing You better give it back, missy.

Though honestly, it's edged with enough desperation, pain, and haggard, clawing-at-the-walls exhaustion to be kind of pathetic.]

[Mary's NV disappears from out of Michael's hand but it doesn't reappear anywhere she'll be able to find it.]

You need sleep, Mary. I can ensure that your dreams will be nothing but peaceful.

[Mary backs off a step, still doing her irrational damnedest to yell at the angel. Not being able to say anything may actually be amping her up more-

-or maybe it's that feeling she has of not being listened to. It's not like John ever does. Even when she needs him most, even when she's desperate and falling all the time he still doesn't care, and now her best friend took her voice away from her, and she can't really see past how angry she is.]

[Michael doesn't advance on the angry woman yet, the only friend who's seen her at her most vulnerable. Nor does the angel take the easy way out of this and try to force sleep on Mary. Instead she watches those soundless lips form words, knowing exactly what words are being said.]

Please, let me care for you. I know you're angry, frustrated and weary and not just from what happened on those hunting grounds. Every day in this world is a struggle - seeing your children all grown up, how John has changed over these years, losing them and getting them back only to realize that they don't remember, fearing for their safety but hoping...hoping that they'd come for you, that they'd save you and everything would just be okay. You look into their eyes and you see them worry for you, see that they'd move Heaven and Hell to keep you safe if they could but know that you're their mother and you should be the one protecting them from the horrors of the world.

[She steps closer now, a hand extended to brush fingers gently over Mary's cheek.] You feel as if you're a mother to everyone you speak to, someone who will worry about the strangers not yet your friend and it's as if you're carrying that all on your own.

Angels are watching over you, Mary. And it's time to sleep. [There's a gentle and reassuring smile on Michael's face, probably the first one she's smiled in a long time.]

Edited 2012-07-07 10:06 (UTC)

[It's maybe... three seconds after "every day in this world is a struggle" that it starts hitting her. The instant he says John's name, she sucks in a harsh breath that rattles something terrible inside her. It's true- all of it, all of it, the things nobody ever asks and she isn't allowed to talk about anymore, because it's been almost a year and shouldn't she be over it. The things that claw at her every day and every night and will never stop haunting. The truths she didn't know were hurting and oh god, Michael's touch is the only thing in the world she needs at the moment it happens.

By the time the angel's done talking, Mary has tears pouring down her cheeks and she's crying harder than she's cried in years. She holds onto Michael's shoulders, hands balling up fistfuls of her shirt in an astonishingly childish gesture, and all she can say is to mouth one thing.

I miss them. I miss them, she tries to say, I miss them. John and Dean and Sam. Because they've all been here, and she's had them all, and she has them now- but her family, the man she married, the children she still pines for like a missing limb? She hasn't seen them in a long, long time.

Someone is finally watching over her. And by god, she just wants someone to understand.]

[For a moment all Michael does is wrap her arms around Mary tightly as if the woman will slip through her grasp if she lets go even a little bit. She lets the silent crying and wordless confessions go on for a minute before finally giving Mary her voice back. It's time for all of it to be let out into the universe for all to see and hear - all of the crap that Mary's been thrown into with the chaos this world brings.

One hand comes up to brush comfortingly over that dirty-blond head as she tucks her chin solidly against the woman's shoulder. While her current vessel appears small, there's a supernatural strength capable of taking all of Mary's weight if need be. Michael's always kind of understood, it's why he generally appears as someone else around her because John's face is a reminder of what she had - of what she couldn't have anymore.]

I know. Let it all out, I'm here for you.

[And she does, she cries as hard as she can for a stupidly long time, sobbing into Michael's shoulder about anything and everything that runs through her mind. It's a torrent of her innermost demons and deepest sorrows, the wounds that run deepest and will never heal.]

-I'll never see them again and he doesn't get it, he hates me for it he thinks I'm a bad mother and all I want is just- to just- to hold them again and tell them I love them and say goodbye just once. [She kind of loses it for a minute after that, and resolves into-] -I lost my family and I'm not even allowed to act like it. I can't hurt for them because I need to be a mom to these people and I don't know how. They're everything I always promised wouldn't. I. I died for that, and they still grew up broken, there's nothing I can do about it. And Sam-

-[She actually looks up at Michael for this one.]

He was the first person I saw here. I got rescued from the Darkness and then when I posted he was the first... person to answer me. [She wipes tears from her eyes, rather pointlessly as she's still crying.] He was so good and he took me out to breakfast and he was the first face I saw and then he told me and I was so proud of him for going to Stanford.

I- [Crying again.] I don't think I ever really knew him. He had that. Demon blood. Angel. Everything, I didn't know him, they all told me over and over that it wans't really him but Michael, I don't have anything else. [Desperately] He's the only Sam I know. And he's gone. I'll never see him again.

[Michael is silent the entire time Mary pours her heart out to him, arm wrapped tight and fingers carding softly.]

John doesn't realize that just like you were ripped from them, they were ripped from you. It's a family of strangers and you can grow to love them too but it's not the same as seeing them grow up. Broken or not, they love each other and they love you. No matter what you see or learn, remember that and that I'm here when you need me.

[She caresses Mary's cheek gently again.]

We all lose people we care about, but you get the chance to see Sam not only at his worst but also at his best. I've seen him, Mary. I've watched them both grow up and maybe they didn't have the life you wanted but your sons stand together no matter what the odds. They save people.

They shouldn't have had to. They should have had the chance to be happy and safe like everyone else. I would die again a thousand times to make that happen.

[She looks up at him, leaning into the touch with wide eyes, like she's trying to convince him. Begging him to believe that she would.]

I don't know how to make John understand. I can barely talk to him. All he sees is himself and his own pain- and it's not even about me anymore. He doesn't see me. He sees what he wanted me to be. It's all about him losing me, but now that he has me it's still all about him. He doesn't realize that I'm real. I'm a person with feelings and they can be nasty, he doesn't get it. I'm just... [Shaking her head and looking down cynically.] The disappointing shadow cast by the wife he thought he had. He didn't know me then, and I don't know if he wants to know me now. Not really.

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servingfather - 2012-07-07 11:47 (UTC) - Expand

It's fine, Dad. [ Sam finally speaks up, having taken a minute to lament that fact that everyone seemed to know about his greatest problem. His big insecurity. Mild panic and regret tug at his heart, but he keeps it out of his voice, for now. ]

Forget about it.

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† ONE [voice] - backdated to Friday morning

Re: video;

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offline; with apologies to kai's inbox

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